Posted by Cindy W on May 16, 2000, at 0:16:26
In reply to Re: I beg to differ ...Cindy W-are you out there?, posted by Alan on May 15, 2000, at 21:50:02
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> > Bob, I think the therapist needs to be someone the client doesn't know very well. As a psychologist and also a person in therapy, I find I do not know much about my therapist, except that he is very warm and caring; unfortunately, this makes me put him on a pedestal and I have a "crush" on him. On the plus side, my transference feelings are "grist for the mill" of therapy, since undoubtedly I relate to him in many of the same ways I relate to others in my life, and if I ever have the nerve to talk about all that with him, will be able to understand and change what I do. From what I have read, the therapeutic relationship is the main factor in client change; whether the therapist is warm, authentic and caring makes more difference than whatever theories or techniques the therapist uses. The client changes when he/she is ready to change and feels sufficiently emotionally supported to change habitual ways of feeling and acting. As a cognitive behaviorist, I find it amusing that in my own therapy, I want more of an analytic, dynamic type therapy! However, I think if I knew my therapist too well, as a friend or lover, neither of us could be objective enough to be honest (friends and lovers always have a hidden agenda, of meeting their own needs). Therefore, as a therapist, I believe that the therapist should not disclose too many personal details (since I work in a prison, disclosing personal information is forbidden and can even be dangerous). All this is my two cents worth...but I still am in love with my therapist!
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> I hope that you haven't taken a vacation or something neat like that..
> Did you see my post to you earlier today? I hope so. You have such keen insights on this subject it seems - maybe due to the fact that you are a psychologist...I don't know.
> Alan
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> Alan
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Alan, I'm so sorry to be late replying...see my post below (have been unable to post for three days). Am still trying to resolve my transference with my pdoc (see him next 6/5). Have read a very good book, "In Session--The Bond Between Women and Their Therapists," by Deborah A. Lott, which addresses transference (probably applies pretty much in reverse, too, to male clients and their female therapists). It is a paperback, copyrighted l999/2000. The book talks about how the transference develops, as a result of the special type of relationship between therapist and client (not a friendship, not a family membership, etc.), where the therapist knows more about the client than vice versa. Am hoping that the therapy relationship will help me work out problems I have had repeatedly in my relationships with men. Having been in therapy before, but never being as committed as I am now to really trying to change, I'm terrified and also relieved to have been able to admit to my therapist (just in writing so far) how I feel; hopefully, then, this will be 'grist for the mill' or something to work on in therapy, and I'll be able to see how I distort things, before I screw up any more real-life relationships!
poster:Cindy W
thread:33299
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000508/msgs/33558.html