Posted by Deb R on April 28, 2000, at 10:39:54
In reply to Forgiveness: Question for DebR and boB, posted by Cass on April 24, 2000, at 16:20:00
>So my question for boB and Deb R is, aside from the fact that your mother tried to kill you or kill herself, was the relationship otherwise loving?
Hi Cass, looks as though I can post now, as long as our server stops disconnecting me...will try and see if this post gets through as I have been having a bit of trouble.
I know you would appreciate it is difficult to answer your question without going into lengthy explanations of what my childhood was like, what Mum was like etc. There is so much to tell. I don't remember any loving moments - there were none. Nothing obvious to a child anyway. Now as I look back and remember, I realise Mum did the best she could. I dont think I love my Mother as there is nothing pleasant from those childhood years to base any sort of affection on, does that sound weird? Mum back then was a screaming, raving, frightening person. Now Mum is so affected by her medications that her face is a mask, there is no life, no interest, passion, emotion...nothing. Two terrible extremes - somewhere in the middle would be nice huh!
>Am I less of a person because I cannot forgive?
No, you are a fine person Cass who cares for others and just wants to have some answers. Just dont let it eat you away and 'spoil' you and your life as I have done. Bless you m'dear and hang in there...do search for the answers but also live and have fun fun fun! Thats my goal for this weekend anyway. Woohoo. I am sure if I say "woohoo" a few more times I will feel like "woohooing", its that sort of word isnt it!
Thanks to Janice, Brenda, Todd, Noa and china for your lovely messages - I have printed them off and will carry them with me for a lift when I need one...Todd you write beautifully. I have attempted to post something like this paragraph two other times, so they may turn up as well somewhere. Thanks everyone.
Best wishes
Deb.
poster:Deb R
thread:30376
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000420/msgs/31582.html