Posted by Shar on April 15, 2000, at 0:48:17
In reply to Re: What makes you HAPPY VALLEY GIRL??, posted by Valley Girl on April 6, 2000, at 7:26:26
> >I have been in therapy for most of my adult life. 30 plus years. I keep hearing the same thing over and over. I don't understand that happiness has to be hard work. Our parents selfishly put us here for their egotistical or plain stupid reasons and now we're stuck. Life sucks and then you die. But for me you don't die soon enough, you get dragged through hell for what purpose? So you can die! Believe me, I have researched mental health, physical and psychic (I am extremely intutitive and empathic). I thought this was my problem, because I react to everyones emotions around me. I hate knowing what other people think and what is going to happen to them. I have tried, through various methods, to get control of this "gift". Say what you want. I have been there and done that. I am just sick of it all. I am on meds. I have tried natural, homeopathic you name it. Nothing works for me. I am glad that others benefit from meds and positive attitudes. Depression, is what is here for me in this life. I guess I am suppose to learn something from it. Sorry for being such a downer. I can only see the yucky underside of the rock, not the beautiful shiney side!
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> I am not wallowing in self pity. I just want someone to understand that happiness is or contentment is a hard thing for some us even to understand.
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> Valley Girl
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> I am sure you have heard, that this is IT. This isn't a dress rehearsal..this is the only life we get..right now.If your med's. aren't working ---how important are YOU to YOU?
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> > Get help. Read everything about your illness you can. Don't wait. Research. Find a thread of hope. Seek out some answers. Make it your purpose. Since you have had children,
> > (I won't say do it for them.) having children is tough,raising them is tough,heck..life is tough sometimes.
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> > You have obviously toughed it out through the years...can you try a little more? For you?
> > Maybe I don't get it...as far as you are concerned...I haven't "walked in your shoes". But I do know that the human spirit wants the goodness,happiness.
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> > So don't try to "force" yourself to be happy..find some answers as to why you are unhappy.
Valley: I can join you completely in your definition of life, and the absence of "happiness" and knowing that most people don't understand at all. I feel very much the same way, and have since I was quite young. I am not terribly empathic (reading people), but I am ultra sensitive to slight nuances in behaviors, "disruptions in the force" if you will.
A survival technique I learned at home.I personally am tired of people --just about everyone --dispensing their personal theories on how I should behave/eat/exercise/go to their church/ etc. in order to not be depressed. I think my depression is biological, like diabetes or a thyroid condition. So those kindly suggestions of "why not get off your meds for a while, maybe you won't feel depressed anymore" are just ignored. And I tell them what I think.
I think it is good to hang in there, and do try the meds (give them a chance, because it could bring you from black pit to having your head above ground again). My meds don't keep me happy, they keep me not-suicidal, which is an improvement.
As far as "happiness" I have a pretty liberal definition: if things aren't horrible on all fronts, it's ok. Or, if my head is above water, I'm ok.
In terms of "happiness".....Delightful moments are what I have. Like moments of amusement inspired by nature (standing still watching a couple of squirrels go up and around a tree, full speed ahead) or a moment on Sat. morning when I realize I can sleep in and I am so GRATEFUL. I like humor also.
I am aware of the occasional little good things, but I would not say "I'm a happy person" and I pretty much agree that life sucks, and is also unfair.
I have determined to stick it out. I hope you do, too.
Good luck - Shar
poster:Shar
thread:20862
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000411/msgs/30056.html