Posted by dove on February 1, 2000, at 12:15:45
In reply to Re: Depression and procreation..., posted by Racer on January 31, 2000, at 21:52:07
This is a really serious and difficult choice. I have shared bits and pieces about my family, my children, and the day-to-day struggles are many times overwhelming to me. Sometimes I'm so tired of fighting against myself I don't have the strength to interact with my kids. Sometimes I'm so tired of interacting and giving to my children, I don't have the strength to help myself.
I have stated before, that without my children I wouldn't have sought help for myself. On the other hand, my children who have the "markers" of depression, greatly strain my ability to function. My daughter, who has tried quite a number of meds and seen a number of docs, has bottomed out again. She breaks down in tears at school about every two hours, she walks in the door and cries and cries. She's sad, frustrated, and doesn't know how to handle it or how to help us help herself. That has weighed on my pretty heavily the last couple of weeks. I dp feel guilty, but that is like blaming myself for something I had control over. Which is plain wrong. How many parents aren't depressed and still have children who are. We cannot predict with absolute certainty what those genes hold for the future.
So, wrapping up, I think most of the people on this board actually care and know more about mental/mood disorders, and would probably make very good parents in comparison to the general public. Why, because they search for answers, clues, methods to help and to fight against the monsters that hide in our hearts. I wish my parents had known more, or at least recognized and acknowledged the illness. It's a hard decision, but at the same time, love for one another creates the atmosphere in which to bear offspring and to nurture that offspring.
Morally, having children when you know, even with 100% certainty, they will have a mental/mood disorder is not wrong, in the truest sense it is right. It's wrong to rid society of people who are disadvantaged or different, we need those people. I know it's a heavy responsibility to bring those lives into this world and then try to guide and nurture them, but, if you don't, there are less children to grow into adults and to discover new things, and make a difference in this world.
just a few thoughts.
dove
poster:dove
thread:20155
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000128/msgs/20307.html