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Re: that's just it » noa

Posted by Racer on July 4, 2003, at 13:20:32

In reply to Re: Still alive » Racer, posted by noa on July 4, 2003, at 11:06:13

the lack of sex started way before he was laid off. My husband stopped touching me almost as soon as we moved in together.

And the more I think about it, the more I don't want treatment. I just want to stop trying. Where I am, there are no treatment options. I've called literally every therapist listed in the yellow pages, asking if they'll take me without insurance. The only one who takes self pay was $280 per session! The only psychiatrist who will see self pay doesn't return calls, takes weeks to respond to calls for prescription refills, etc. The alternative is the county system. The day I was in the EPS unit, a guy came in right after me, asking for a refill of his prescription. He was there 6 HOURS, locked up where I was.

Why did they let me go? I told them that being locked up seemed like it would make it worse, told them what happened last time, and after a few minutes of "oh, it's not like that" they admitted it was. All they could do was lock me up, take away my shoes, and leave me there. Oh, yeah, and send me a huge bill at the end of it. That's why they let me go.

This morning, my husband told me I had to stop doing this, because it was too hard for him to watch. It was making him sick. Maybe if he keeps on that way I'll get over feeling guilty and be able to do it.


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