Posted by shar on July 4, 2003, at 0:51:23
In reply to Re: some of what's going on » shar, posted by Racer on July 3, 2003, at 23:41:07
Yowza!!
With all that incredible amount of stuff draining you and dragging you down and assaulting you, I'd say this is not a good time to make a final exit type decision. It's too bad you're not a drama queen, or you would be at the top of your game right now! You could be swooning, crying, doing some Scarlett O'Hara stuff..."as God is my witness..." and even Bette Davis or Joan Crawford.
How good are you at getting into role playing?
Seriously, I can just feel all that stuff dragging on you and weighing on you, and feeling like it is too much to bear. I hope you'll give it 24 or 48 hours. I truly believe that the serious decision of ending it all deserves the cold light of day, and emotional clarity. With all that's happened, your clarity is understandably clouded. You've been assaulted, you are suffering a terrible loss, and I imagine everything seems wrong and bad.
It is a ton of stuff to take in. Too much to take in all at once so it makes sense you'd look for an exit. Somewhere, tho, I'm positive there is a part of you that can muster up some anger at these things that have ruined your present life. Just hating those things for happening and stomping around and throwing a fit...without explanations and apologies. A doozie of a fit, too, not just kicking the trash can or slamming a door. This calls for serious measures. I've cleared a desktop or two in my lifetime (making sure, of course, that the breakables were avoided) and it felt pretty damn good. And, a really good fit can last quite a while. You can even take a break, have some tea, then start again. "I just can't take it" is a good mantra for a proper fit. If it comes down to it, that's better than doing yourself in.
When you can write more, please do.
(((Racer)))
Shar
poster:shar
thread:239030
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20030702/msgs/239139.html