Posted by Sean on October 4, 1999, at 11:55:15
In reply to Red Face - YIKES!!, posted by Bones on October 3, 1999, at 13:20:22
> More advice sought my cyberfriends.
>
> If any of you are aquainted with my previous messages, you will know that I suffer from an anxiety disorder - OCD in it's worst form. Social anxiety in its every prevailing, and most intrusive form.
>
> I've continued a regiment of two weeks on ... two weeks off of medication for the past year. I am currently off. Feeling really good. I'm seeing the psych. doctor this Friday to discuss meds. He feels very strongly that I should be on meds. (I seem to find that anyone with OCD is treated this way. The illness is treated with kid gloves.) Anyway - my OCD I seem to be handling just fine ... yes the obsessive thoughts are darting back and forth more than usual, but I find without meds. I have better cognitive skills (thought tricks) to deal with them.
>
> Anyway --- the reason I keep going back on medication is because of the social anxiety - specifically - I blush, blush beet red - a lot - when I'm not on meds. Particularly around authority figures. (I work as an Executive Secretary ... so the blushing is pretty much constant.)
>
> Does anyone have any recommendations?? Any medication recommendations to stop blushing?? I tried a beta blocker a year ago - and found that they made me very, very tired. Has anyone tried beta blockers - does the tiredness subside (however I also felt depressed when I was on them.
>
> I try to "figure out" this blushing thing. Why is it so difficult for me to deal with?? Some people think blushing is kind of charming. ("Yeah right!!") I think it makes me look deficient, shy, lacking in self-confidence. (Which of course I am.) It makes me look like I have a handicap. (Which of course I DO.) Sometimes I think it boils down to the issue of "pride". I do have a handicap. Why can't I accept it? (Actually I do accept it, I can't deal with the labelling the rejection from others. (I guess it's nice to be able to hide it.) But what if I was physically handicapped?? They can't hide it can they? And they are evaluated differently from the rest of us. Has anyone read Jean Vanier's books. He addresses this question quite profoundly, summarizing that we are all "handicapped". And that handicapped people because of this societal rejection, their vulnerabilty have a lot to teach us. I can appreciate what Vanier says; it touches me deeply. But what place do I have to be before I can become one of "the handicapped".
>
> I know I'm rambling. Any comments?I have a similar thing with my ears, but it really
isn't a handicap for me.My ex-girlfriend had a very similar set of symptoms.
She was terrified of speaking in front of people,
interviews, bosses, etc.. and had OCD to the extent
where she would straighten and "count" all the
time. Since she was a little girl she had this
ritual of "starting over" which after a painful
or anxious event she would begin the world anew
and try to control everything by counting. It
sounds almost cute (in a sad way) to imagine her
doing this as a child, but being close to her
as an adult was intense.ANYWAY, she also goes on and off Prozac. She says
that after a few weeks she gets this urge to just
stop the stuff. Similar to you, her doc is always
trying to get her to stay on it. But there is
something "gross" about how SSRIs make some people
feel. I've felt this on Zoloft: it is hard to
explain.As for the blushing, I guess my advice is to work
with a therapist and the meds with situations
that cause this reaction. My gut feeling is that
you need to somehow go through these uncomfortable
experiences a number of times until they become
almost boring and you feel safe in them. That is,
the percieved threat to your being is replaced
with experiences of safety. Meds can help train
your brain I think.But I'm just rambling! Keep us posted.
Sean.
poster:Sean
thread:12488
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19991001/msgs/12527.html