Posted by Janet on September 29, 1999, at 10:15:15
In reply to Re: Suicide-Rude Awakening, posted by et tu on September 29, 1999, at 8:48:50
> I've had three people I went to school with commit suicide. All bright, seemingly capable individiuals from good families. One had a wonderful wife and two youg sons and they all still live with the loss every day, and suffer to the degree that they feel they could have done something more. And maybe they could have and maybe nothing would have made a difference once the path was determined, despite all best intentions.
>
> I know that loving gestures have reached me when I've been on the edge. And I've also gone over that edge, unsuccessfully, a couple of times when I was so weighed down with my own doubts that I could see no other option.
>
> Somehow, I survived despite myself, generally unscathed. And sometimes I wish I had succeeded, oftentimes am indifferent whether I live or die and sometimes even feel grateful to be alive. Generally I haven't made much a contribution to society or myself, despite some spirited efforts and an upbringing that didnt't lack for much, inclluding love as was the case with my friends. And often that is not enough, as was their case as they were all well loved but evidently didn't love themselves or their lives enough. They made the choice they did and no-one can claim that they could have persuaded them differently because they didn't. So, elle, please don't blame yourself for what happened because doubtless you did the best you knew how and doubtless so did your son.
>
> >... All you have to do is reach out for the hand that is reaching to you. The pain of losing someone to suicide is unbearable. It haunts me everyday. I think that if I had told him I loved him one more time he wouldn't have done it. Reality is he wasn't thinking of me. He wasn't thinking. The disease had blacked the thoughts. Or at least that's what I believe. I'll never understand.
> >
> > elle
Suicide is something that happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with that pain.I read that on the internet and remembered as how I feel at times.
Janet
poster:Janet
thread:12211
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19991001/msgs/12248.html