Posted by Bob on September 23, 1999, at 9:18:52
In reply to Re: someone tell me what this is, posted by elle on September 23, 1999, at 7:50:14
Ah, there ya have it! Bein' half Irish and have Polish meself, I'd say just pin it on being Catholic ... the human soul can only handle so much guilt before it crumbles, doncha know? ;^)
I know it's hard not to struggle with these self-admissions. Admitting that you're having an "episode" and getting the latest SSRI from you family doctor for a few months seems to be getting as fashionable as checking into a rehab facility (pardon me, the RIGHT rehab facility) in some circles. But admitting that you are depressed now and that you probably have been depressed for a long time can feel like a death sentence. For me, I was terrified of admitting that I did not have the power to arrange the affairs of my life to exactly what I wanted them to be, no matter how long it took. I didn't want to say that there was nothing I could have done to not be depressed for the last 30 years.
But elle, you have received such a great blessing in your current husband! I wish more disorderless folk had his enlightened attitude. It's okay to lean on him -- that's one reason why he married you, to provide that sort of support. It sounds like it's given you the strength to act, after all these years, to confront the source of your troubles and not just the issues that exacerbated them (though you certainly have shown a great deal of strength in getting yourself out of past abusive situations). Just keep focused on that strength that you do have and remember: acknowledging that you need someone's help and seeking that person out is not a sign of weakness--it's still another sign of strength. Take some pride in coming to see this, in coming to accept it, and share the gratitude you must feel for your husband's support. Don't look on entering therapy as a failure, because it isn't. It's a successful start to getting to the life you deserve.
It took me a long, long time to realize all this myself. I hope you can see it, and really take it to heart, sooner than I did.
Cheers,
Bob
poster:Bob
thread:11902
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990914/msgs/11946.html