Posted by JohnL on August 23, 1999, at 3:54:59
In reply to Depression and Work, posted by yardena on August 22, 1999, at 20:02:38
Yardena, very interesting topic. When I am depressed, which is a lot, I find what I have to do is focus on the basics of my work and do them the best I can, minute by minute, hour by hour. Talking to others or trying to go the extra mile is way over my head, so I keep to myself and do real good at the few things I focus on. When I do have to talk with someone, I take on an actor's role and I really do a pretty good fake-job. I basically draw an invisible circle around myself, kind of like a protective shell, and find my little world to be an escape from the larger world of depression outside my shell. Does that make sense? Basically I'm in survival mode. I push real hard to get done what has to be done, and put the rest on a shelf for a better day. Most times the hardest part is just getting in the car to go to work.
I do not share my situation with anyone. I hide it as best I can. If there were ever layoffs or a supervisor looking for reasons to trim the payroll, such information might go against me. If that happened, proving it would be nearly impossible. Besides, I don't trust rumors and I don't like the way they reach ears I never intended.
I think many of us perform very well at what we do, often better than "normal" folks, because we find work to be an escape and we put all we have into it. Consistency certainly suffers. More achieved when OK. Less achieved when depressed. But overall a strong effort. I recently got an award for Manager of the Year in my company. They obviously don't have a clue! JohnL.
poster:JohnL
thread:10514
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990914/msgs/10537.html