Posted by CindyM to Phil on June 10, 1999, at 12:36:48
In reply to Re: tired of explaining-don't blame you, posted by Phil on June 10, 1999, at 10:30:11
> > > I went off my meds over a month ago and my husband knew I was pretty much back at the start (meaning when I was first diagnosed with depression and not on any meds yet). He knows that I have a diff. time coping with alot and am moody and have no sex drive and I just need a little support and understanding. He also told me over a week ago that he wouldn't 'bug' me for intimacy because I'm just not ready. He went away from this past Sunday eve. until yesterday. Then it seems like this is the only thing on his mind! I am so tired of explaining that I am just not there. He told me he doesn't understand. Of course not, he isn't depressed. But couldn't he at least try? He said he will but I don't know how long this will last, again. UGH! I guess I just needed to vent to someone who might actually understand where I am comming from. I am having a hard enough time not jumping off a bride, never mind sex. I am very tired of going through this. I guess because it has been a year since my family found out about my depression that they forgot or something. I was talking to my mother a few nights ago and she told me that I better put 'mind over matter' because "where would you be if you wound up in the hospital and LOST your husband and your children". I guess she figures that my husband will take the kids and leave me if that was to happen? Or that this is what I would deserve? I don't know. I am tired of explaining to everyone in my so called life that I don't choose to be like this and I don't want to be depressed and if was a case of putting mind over matter then I wouldn't be like this. GRR. Thanks for letting me vent. This is a good place to come. Also, I am going on Wellebutrin. Hopefully I won't be as tired as I was on the Effexor. Do you just ignore people (when they say things like my mother did) or tell them off or what? Sometimes only a couple of choice words come to my mind.
> >
> > I have no idea why this came up with a different name. Anyhow, it's CindyM not Melody. LOL
>
> >>CindyM,
>
> It amuses me so much about how families react to depression, you know, in a dark sort of way.
> Got cancer? Oh dear, I'm here for you.
> Stung on the butt by a coupla bees?
> Dear, you just get your rest.
> Depression?
> Pull yourself up by the bootsraps! Come on, there a lotta people who have real problems! You just need to get out-stay home-socialize-join a church-make some 'nice friends'-more.
> I think depression scares the hell out of families because they just don't have any understanding of the disease, they over-react, and deep inside, they probably have a little fear that they are to blame. And now they are gonna fix it. It's kinda like, you know...crazy.
> I know a lady who, when getting married, had to go through "How to be a wife" counseling with the wife of the pastor. She was informed, this is true, that the wife should allow the husband sex no matter how she feels. Especially if it's been over 72 hours cause men need that as a minimum!!
> This friend was like....as if??!!
> Most depressed folks are so knowledgeable about their disease, especially ones who visit this sight and read and listen. The real trick of depression is teaching your family. The best thing in the world for depression, besides meds,
> is finding a support group who can be your 'chosen family'. People who know what you are gonna say before you say it and have true empathy and love for wherever you are.
> Welcome to a part of your chosen family. Now go do the dishes!!!: )
>
> Sincerely,
> PhilThank you. It is so nice to come somewhere where you know someone else won't tell you to snap out of it or put more demands on you knowing you can't handle them all. (okay, besides the dishes ;) lol). Off to get ready for a wedding I don't feel like attending this weekend so wish me luck.
poster:CindyM to Phil
thread:7250
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990601/msgs/7259.html