Posted by DL on November 25, 1998, at 22:53:58
In reply to Re: DL, posted by Toby on November 25, 1998, at 15:24:30
Yes, I am feeling a release and some decrease in that overly alert on -guard way of living. But, it is a high that is leveling/decreasing already. Life is work for me. I am still not sure where I am going. And I still find myself becoming racy and wound inside when something does not go as expected. I guess I have always felt safe in an organized structure and have tried super hard to set up my new life that way. I need to learn to let go of some of that. Last night I was watching TV for an hour and kept jumping back to the thought that I should be doing something else--like reports for work, or cleaning or whatever. How do I deal with this? How can I learn to leave some of those things behind? And why is it so hard for me to relax? Is this inherited from my father who can not live without his life structured down to the tiniest things? I must fight with myself to stay out of that "I don't deserve to relax and let go" mode. What's up here? Can I find a way out of it?
Don't worry. I won't forget the meds. EVen though I continue to gain some weight and am very unhappy about it, the sleep is worth just about anything. Years without good sleep have taught me that. But I want to learn to have fun. I think I need permission to do so. Any suggestions?
Divorce hearing is on Dec 8th.....
Thanks for continuing the connection. I feel unworthy of taking so much of your time. But have a rush of relief when I know you are there. Don't know why it is so important to me and why I feel deep disappointment when there is a lapse in the connection.
Dotty
poster:DL
thread:827
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990601/msgs/1353.html