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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Angela2 on April 13, 2008, at 15:50:27
I'm avoiding stuff. I've been avoiding stuff I want to do lately. And I care, but I don't. I feel sort of apathetic. Is that the word? And I'm scared to feel scared.
I'm wanting to get away from the things that I don't care that much about, and get closer to the things that matter more, like volunteering, taking a class, or socializing in real life. It's just not working out that way at the moment. It seems I'm still hanging around the stuff I don't really feel a connection to.
Posted by ClearSkies on April 13, 2008, at 17:24:55
In reply to in a fish bowl, posted by Angela2 on April 13, 2008, at 15:50:27
I've noticed the same qualities in myself, Angela. When I set myself goals and challenges and then fail to meet them, like getting out to meet new people, or even getting out of the house on a regular basis. I think it's inevitable that we feel we've let ourselves down when we don't meet those expectations.
But,
think of how far you've come. Try to put your achievements so far in perspective. Life isn't linear, it's a meandering (from what I've seen so far). Maybe not one step forward and two steps back, but maybe one step forward, a couple of side shuffles, and a slide ahead. I think that it's enough that sometimes we just notice that we're not doing what we've set out to do - but don't go any further than that. Just an, Oh - look where I am today, same place as yesterday. What do you know? Just notice it. And in doing the noticing, eventually, we change ourselves. Really, we do.
CS
Posted by Angela2 on April 13, 2008, at 17:30:35
In reply to Re: in a fish bowl » Angela2, posted by ClearSkies on April 13, 2008, at 17:24:55
Thank you for the words of encouragement CS. I appreciate it very much.
((((CS))))Ang2
Posted by ClearSkies on April 13, 2008, at 17:44:30
In reply to Re: in a fish bowl » ClearSkies, posted by Angela2 on April 13, 2008, at 17:30:35
Hugs right back at you, Angela.
((((Angela))))
Posted by Phillipa on April 13, 2008, at 19:55:54
In reply to Re: in a fish bowl » Angela2, posted by ClearSkies on April 13, 2008, at 17:44:30
Angela 2 did you set a small goal for today? Love Phillipa I did and accomplished it for once. Baby steps again.
Posted by Angela2 on April 13, 2008, at 20:16:28
In reply to Re: in a fish bowl, posted by Phillipa on April 13, 2008, at 19:55:54
yay! good for you Phillipa. I did set a tentative goal, but didn't accomplish it. I think maybe I'm setting my sights too high. But I'm glad I'm at least sort of facing my fears?
Posted by Kath on April 13, 2008, at 20:43:55
In reply to in a fish bowl, posted by Angela2 on April 13, 2008, at 15:50:27
Hi Angela2,
Maybe the fish is swimming on one side of the bowl but wants to venture to the side it's more interested in - sounds like that. I wonder if the fish thinks it doesn't deserve to enjoy the area it is more interested in?
Angela - you DO deserve to be happy. You deserve to get involved, gently, gradually, baby-steppedly in the things that interest you.
CS gave interesting insights. During the lull when you aren't venturing towards the other side of the 'bowl', I encourage you to be gentle with yourself; give yourself the warm hug that I'd give you if I were there; look at something you like - a flower; a certain colour; your favourite craft material, etc - then enjoy it & SMILE if you can, then imagine yourself receiving the warmth of that smile, right into your heart.
I wish you all the best; you deserve it. You're one of the people who I see taking their 'healing' very seriously & working hard at it. You deserve to relax, enjoy your life & gently move towards what you want to do.
MANY hugs, Kath xoxo
Posted by Angela2 on April 14, 2008, at 8:24:58
In reply to Re: in a fish bowl » Angela2, posted by Kath on April 13, 2008, at 20:43:55
((((Kath))))
Thank you for your kind words. Reading them put smile on my face. I think there is truth to I don't feel like I deserve to be happy. Another part of me is just avoiding cuz I'm scared. I think I need to work on that. Thank you again.
xxxooo
Ang2
Posted by llurpsienoodle on April 14, 2008, at 8:47:12
In reply to Re: in a fish bowl » Angela2, posted by Kath on April 13, 2008, at 20:43:55
hi angela,
I know the feeling of disappointing ourself. It is so much harder to learn to live with our own decisions than to follow someone's directions sometimes.I know you have been working very hard lately. Getting out, doing things. buying yarn.
Maybe you are allowed a "mental health day" here and there. Do some self-soothing activities. Go pet the yarns at the yarn store and maybe something else sensory, like listening to music, aromatherapy, etc.
Progress is non-linear. sometimes things feel worse, even as they are getting better.
hang in there, k?
-Ll
Posted by Angela2 on April 14, 2008, at 12:50:38
In reply to Re: in a fish bowl » Kath, posted by llurpsienoodle on April 14, 2008, at 8:47:12
Thanks Llurpsie. I soo know what you mean about making your own decisions and following someone elses. I used to find it easier to do things that other people would want me to do, than if I wanted to do something for myself (if that is what you meant). Now I don't really do anything for anybody or myself, lol. OK, well I guess I do. But I guess I'm thinking of a time when I drove my brother to school and now I don't do that anymore.
It's weird. Because last year I felt crappier than this year. But I did more last year. Last year I didn't have issues with driving. But I guess things are getting better slowly. Today I drove out of my comfort zone. A biggie with me right now is anxiety tolerance. I freak out in my mind when I start getting anxious and then all the what-ifs come in, and then I retreat. got to work on that.
Thank you again for your advice Ll.
Ang2
Posted by Happyflower on April 14, 2008, at 19:51:55
In reply to in a fish bowl, posted by Angela2 on April 13, 2008, at 15:50:27
Life just sucks sometimes I think. Sometimes you just have to live in the moment and be gentle with yourself if you don't live up your expectations sometimes. Please take care of yourself
Posted by Angela2 on April 15, 2008, at 15:59:50
In reply to Re: in a fish bowl, posted by Happyflower on April 14, 2008, at 19:51:55
This is the end of the thread.
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