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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by ClearSkies on December 22, 2005, at 8:19:52
Enough, already!
I've had enough of this.I'm not enough.
I'm not good enough.
I'm not Smart enough.
I'm not Pretty enough.
I'm not Strong enough.Haven't I done enough?
Haven't I suffered enough?
Am I tough enough?I've had enough, thanks.
No, no, this is enough for me.You've already done more than enough.
Thank you so much.
Posted by Susan47 on December 22, 2005, at 14:34:12
In reply to Enough, posted by ClearSkies on December 22, 2005, at 8:19:52
Hmmm. It's never enough till the fat lady sings.
What does that mean, anyway? Do you know what that means?
Enough already.
Enough, enough, enough.
I've had enough.
Leave me alone.
Go away.Last night I saw his face so clearly, I saw details etched in the beautiful lines of his face; details that might not exist. His face is so fabulous, it's alive and the eyes are large and beautifully brown, and intelligent, his face is intelligent.
His most endearing feature. Was it real? Did I make it up out of the beauty in my own head? Do I have that kind of power?
Does anyone?
Does love? Is it love that makes this face real to me, is it love that lights the features I see reflected in my mind, features as real as any dream, any nightmare, more real than any fantasy. I think his face is real. I think he exists. He does. He is. But not for me.
But I can dream.
I have my mind, I have what's in my head,
I have memories I can pull forth, a look here, a glance there, a word, a longer, more loving, gentle look ...
I can pull these from the fragments that were my reality, in a time when I was more comforted.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 22, 2005, at 18:54:57
In reply to Enough, posted by ClearSkies on December 22, 2005, at 8:19:52
(((((Clearskies)))))))
well i think you are just wonderful :-)
Posted by alexandra_k on December 22, 2005, at 18:55:48
In reply to Re: Enough, posted by Susan47 on December 22, 2005, at 14:34:12
(((((Susan)))))
Posted by ClearSkies on December 23, 2005, at 7:53:34
In reply to Re: Enough » ClearSkies, posted by alexandra_k on December 22, 2005, at 18:54:57
The bad thing is it all comes from myself. No one ever tells me I'm not enough anything. It's a wicked tape I play.
thanks, Alex.
Posted by Susan47 on December 23, 2005, at 16:05:31
In reply to Re: Enough » alexandra_k, posted by ClearSkies on December 23, 2005, at 7:53:34
The worst things we hear are the ones we tell ourselves. (((Clearskies)))
Posted by alexandra_k on December 23, 2005, at 16:40:03
In reply to Re: Enough » alexandra_k, posted by ClearSkies on December 23, 2005, at 7:53:34
> The bad thing is it all comes from myself. No one ever tells me I'm not enough anything. It's a wicked tape I play.
ah.
yeah i have one of those tapes too :-(well...
i still think you are wonderful :-)
i wish you could see the you i see
Posted by sal0805 on December 24, 2005, at 12:37:29
In reply to Enough, posted by ClearSkies on December 22, 2005, at 8:19:52
CS, can I help?
Anything???
Love S
Posted by ClearSkies on December 24, 2005, at 13:46:48
In reply to Re: Enough » ClearSkies, posted by sal0805 on December 24, 2005, at 12:37:29
When people tell me to stop being so hard on myself,
What do they mean? I'm just being *me*.
How do I do it?
What does being easy on myself mean? If I loll about on the sofa and take a nap, I'm being lazy.
I don't get it.
Posted by muffled on December 24, 2005, at 15:55:23
In reply to Re: Enough » sal0805, posted by ClearSkies on December 24, 2005, at 13:46:48
> When people tell me to stop being so hard on myself,
> What do they mean? I'm just being *me*.
> How do I do it?
> What does being easy on myself mean? If I loll about on the sofa and take a nap, I'm being lazy.
> I don't get it.
>
Its all the sh*t you play in your head and while its not logical perhaps you beleive it. i do the same thing. My cbt oriented T has tried to help me with it, and I am hoping going to dbt will help more cuz I have a hard time figuring this stuff out. I spend alot of time telling myself how stupid and lazy I am. And while there may be a grain of truth in it, its not all true. Now i just got to get myself to beleive this!
I think when people say don't be so hard on yourself they are referring to the mental abuse we do to our ownsselves.
Take care CS
Muffled
Posted by sal0805 on December 27, 2005, at 15:39:40
In reply to Re: Enough » sal0805, posted by ClearSkies on December 24, 2005, at 13:46:48
Give me a bit of what you feel, and what you mean - I shall get back to you on this!!
In the mean time - you remain as special as always!!
S
Posted by Damos on December 27, 2005, at 15:47:55
In reply to Re: Enough » sal0805, posted by ClearSkies on December 24, 2005, at 13:46:48
> When people tell me to stop being so hard on myself,
> What do they mean? I'm just being *me*.
> How do I do it?
> What does being easy on myself mean? If I loll about on the sofa and take a nap, I'm being lazy.
> I don't get it.Yes, that's it exactly CS - thank you.
Posted by ClearSkies on December 28, 2005, at 7:13:55
In reply to Re: Enough, posted by sal0805 on December 27, 2005, at 15:39:40
> Give me a bit of what you feel, and what you mean - I shall get back to you on this!!
>
> In the mean time - you remain as special as always!!
>
> SI'm always found wanting somehow... praised at work (when I worked) but also always criticised. Does one negate the other?
Told I'm smart and then I don't "get" so many things.. how to install a telephone on a wall, a book that others fawn about that leaves me in the dark, knitting, throwing and catching a ball, riding a bicycle.
Clever and then dumb by turns.
Why can't I just accept that who I am and what I am capable of is OK, and not a matter of having to struggle to be someone, something I'm not?
Why do I cry so very much?
Why do I actually hate my mother (this is very true and has taken me many years to be able to write down).
Why do I cringe from social situations? I'd rather hide under the covers than go anywhere and do anything.
Why do I speak in absolutes all the time (hehehe).
CS
Posted by Susan47 on December 28, 2005, at 11:50:54
In reply to Re: Enough » sal0805, posted by ClearSkies on December 28, 2005, at 7:13:55
Well, you said you play a wicked tape. You said nobody says these things about you except.. you. You're not dumb, but you're telling yourself you are because every time you think something went over your head, what you might not realize is that your mind actually did absorb the information, Clearskies honey, listen up, it really IS in there, but you're too preoccupied with feeling bad about yourself to be able to read the information your mind has recorded.
Clearskies, you ARE smart, your mind is just keep you waaaay too preoccupied with your worry because probably this thing with your family has been driving you to anxiety for many years. Believe me, the information your mind has stored will be accessible to you when you're able to resolve the sh*t your family's done. IMO only, don't go thinking I think I know it all. It's my own experience I'm talking from clearskies... I think you're immensely smart but you don't know it yet, that's all.
Posted by ClearSkies on December 29, 2005, at 16:21:28
In reply to Re: Enough » ClearSkies, posted by Susan47 on December 28, 2005, at 11:50:54
I'm trying, Susan. I'm trying.
It's better today. A little bit manic and overachieving. Cleaned my floor on my hands and knees. Packed up 10 boxes of my step daughter's stuff that she wouldn't find the time to do. Being able to do something, anything, is sometimes all it takes.Thanks for reading and writing, Susan.
Posted by Susan47 on January 2, 2006, at 15:30:44
In reply to Re: Enough » Susan47, posted by ClearSkies on December 29, 2005, at 16:21:28
Wow. You have a lot of energy.. I admire that .. I wish I had more than I do. I wish so many things. Some of what I wish has to do with being more motivated, more alive to possibilities. Without the drug, without the drug. It's so hard.
This is the end of the thread.
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