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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Susan47 on September 25, 2005, at 12:57:54
Right.
Posted by sunny10 on September 26, 2005, at 10:46:33
In reply to You have many wonderful qualities, posted by Susan47 on September 25, 2005, at 12:57:54
what's up,hon? You don't sound like yourself.
Are you okay? Are the kids gone on their trip and you feel lonely?
Wassssup?
Love you,
Sunny10I changed my email on Babble- hopefully it would have switched to my work email- but you already have that anyway!
I don't have home email anymore. I moved.
Posted by Susan47 on September 26, 2005, at 19:22:17
In reply to Re: You do » Susan47, posted by sunny10 on September 26, 2005, at 10:46:33
I'm learning all about the negative power of sarcasm. First-hand :).
And, yes my children should be rising high above Vancouver right now, omigod they're on their way to London then to stops farther east. I'm still working on being London and Goa-bound myself .. gotta work this tush off as much as possible between now and then. I'm thinking I should probably get a second job, seriously. Have you held two jobs daytime/nighttime before? Just wondering what it's like, I think I could handle it.
Posted by Susan47 on September 26, 2005, at 19:27:48
In reply to Re: You do » Susan47, posted by sunny10 on September 26, 2005, at 10:46:33
PS, BTW and all that, I called the ex-T again and left, like, a dozen pathetic msgs out of my extreme Anxiety when I realized that the phone call I was expecting from the kids at the airport, wasn't coming .. and the goddamn ex-husband, well that a-hole didn't have the courtesy or forethought, now THAT's what it is, both courtesy and forethought, that he's missing... he didn't have it in him to have the children at least leave a message on my machine, or to call me at work, or to call me on my cell, or anything. And that is so typical, I realize, of what he is and what he does. And now the kids are completely out of my world, as far as I know. Because that's all I know. If they don't contact me, I have absolutely No Way of contacting them other than through the police or political channels or anything else which would involve major bureaucracy .. and I can't see their faces as their plane takes off, the first plane they've ever been on, and it's a trans-atlantic flight, can you Imagine? They're nine and eleven, and it's their first trip and it's a multiple-country multiple-continent trip, it's three months, and I'm not there, I'm not with my babies, only they're not my babies, not at all, anymore .. I couldn't get the vision of my youngest child's face out of my head last night, his eyes.
Posted by sunny10 on September 27, 2005, at 8:03:50
In reply to Re: You do » sunny10, posted by Susan47 on September 26, 2005, at 19:27:48
it must feel very painful for you. I'm sorry. Perhaps he will have them call after they've gotten there and rested.
And if he doesn't, they will probably miss you and want to call you in a few days.
About the two job thing... I used to do that it my late teens and twenties, but don't think I could hack it now.. tired and old, I guess...
But I hear that in about ten years I'll actually need less sleep and have a little more energy. I'm not sure why that is, but maybe that's where you are??
I'm a little dense- do you want another job for money to travel, to work off your tush, or to be too busy to miss the kids? If it's not the money, I suggest joining a gym, or dance class, or something like that for both a workout and busy-ness. Something you enjoy- not "another punishment"...
I'm glad that you wrote back- I've been thinking about you! I know that neither of us has been as actively babbling, but that doesn't mena that I'm not thinking of you!
Remind me what the time difference is and what hours you work, okay? I think that you're three hours behind me, but I'm not sure... I have a memory like a sieve this days...
I think it's the Wellbutrin or the Risperdal. I'm content and well-balanced, but I have no memory anymore. Good thing the meds make me not care that much about it! LOL !
kisses, darling,
sunny10
Posted by Damos on September 27, 2005, at 17:06:34
In reply to Re: You do » sunny10, posted by Susan47 on September 26, 2005, at 19:27:48
Dear sweet Susan,
I'm so sorry you didn't get a call from your kids before they went, their going must be so very hard for you. And not being able to contact them either. Oh Susan if I could wish you to them I would.
As for the other stuff, well just don't worry about it too much okay. Sh*t happens. You've told me what I needed to hear more times than I can mention. And you're you Suze and we love you just exactly the way you are.
Posted by Susan47 on October 2, 2005, at 13:34:10
In reply to Re: Yes, it must be hard, sweetie, posted by sunny10 on September 27, 2005, at 8:03:50
I have the same thing with memory, and I'm beginning to realize for myself, at least, that remembering everything isn't as important as Becoming. You know, you can't remember everything, but you can make yourself who you want to be; what's important won't be lost.
So yes, I'm three hours behind you. The kids are seven or eight hours in front of me. They're still in London, I've had two e-mails from the ex- and three from my girl, none from my little boy. WHo is having stomach problems. :(
Posted by Susan47 on October 2, 2005, at 13:36:23
In reply to Re: You do » Susan47, posted by Damos on September 27, 2005, at 17:06:34
Thanks, you're so kind, Damos. I actually have a phone number, but in our world, it's become not that easy anymore, there's so many people using the airwaves that I CAN'T GET THROUGH!!! Right now they're seeing a play. When they get back I'll try to call again. I hope I can get through. Wish me luck. :)
Posted by sunny10 on October 3, 2005, at 11:14:47
In reply to Re: You do » Damos, posted by Susan47 on October 2, 2005, at 13:36:23
have a phone number to call them- even if it takes a while to get through!
From reading a couple posts from you, it sounds like you've "got your sea legs back" and are steady on course.
thinking of you,
sunny10
Posted by Damos on October 3, 2005, at 18:49:00
In reply to Re: You do » Damos, posted by Susan47 on October 2, 2005, at 13:36:23
Really, really glad. Don't worry about not hearing from your son, that's just boys for you. I would never have dreamed of calling or writing my mom in that position, would have had to be dragged kicking and screaming actually.
You just love them the best you can and love you the best you can too okay. And never ever forget that we love you too!!!!! You're precious to us in so many ways Suze. Hope the universe conspires to bring you all together soon so you can give 'em the biggest hugs.
Lots a love to you dear lady.
Posted by Susan47 on October 6, 2005, at 3:49:06
In reply to Glad you heard from them » Susan47, posted by Damos on October 3, 2005, at 18:49:00
I've spoken to them all twice in the last 48 hrs. They're in Paris, dirty, smelly old Paris. They called yesterday from the train station in London, they took the Chunnel. My littlest is over his stomach problems, for now, but isn't it funny how someone can be on the other side of the world, and you're talking to them as though they were just across town??? Amazing, really. I wish I were there though, to defuse Dad's temper, to make him more patient, coddle him along, as it were. That was always my task when I was there. To bring him back into a decent humour, one that was bearable for the children. My little girl takes it all on herself, now. It's so bloody sad, I can't talk about this anymore it hurts too much. And I am much less than a perfect parent in any case. I was a bad example, I allowed my kids too much access to my personal pain. And my daughter took some of that on herself, as well. She's a little girl who's going to need a great deal of TLC when she gets back. I have her in art therapy, both of them, actually and when they get back they're going to go regularly. I don't miss them the way I thought I would. I thought my heart would break, I thought I would be adrift in bad feeling, and I'm not, nothing could be further from the truth, I'm actually, and I'm a bit ashamed to say this, but I'm actually a bit relieved to have this freedom to just BE.
Forgive me.
Posted by sunny10 on October 6, 2005, at 10:08:54
In reply to Re: Glad you heard from them, posted by Susan47 on October 6, 2005, at 3:49:06
I was a little worried that I was abnormal...
Now that I know you feel the same bit of liberation, I know I am okay!!!
Take good care and get out and have some fun!!!
Posted by damos on October 6, 2005, at 21:58:31
In reply to Re: Glad you heard from them, posted by Susan47 on October 6, 2005, at 3:49:06
Nothing to forgive you dear sweet beautiful lady. It's all just part of learning who you are, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with the feelings you're experiencing.
Posted by Susan47 on October 7, 2005, at 19:47:20
In reply to Re: So glad I'm not the only one feeling that » Susan47, posted by sunny10 on October 6, 2005, at 10:08:54
That's great, I'm glad I have that in common with other women, and men too, definitely men. Only they're allowed, it's still somehow socially and morally acceptable, to have them spend a lot less time and attention on their kids. C'est la vie. You and I ain't gonna change that. And to be honest, a man's freedom also makes him interesting. Same old, same old, makes them (and why do people let this happen to themselves??? Maybe that's why I got divorced, I just could NOT see this ennui in my future) same old .. fast. You see it happening all the time, and for some reason I just can't let that happen to me. It's like I have this feeling that I'm worth more than that, more than the past I lived and all the bad feelings coming with it. Sigh. Me, a philosopher. Hah. Nevah, nevah nevah nevah .. manic, yeah.
Wanna go shopping? I don't have enough scintillating clothing in my wardrobe. And last season's is .. last season.
D'you know anything about the garment industry in Singapore? Because I'm thinking of going that way rather than over via London, and I really, really, intensely need new clothes.
And a personal makeover. I need more exercise, not just mental but spiritual and physical too.
I love you loveyou loveyou, Sunny...
Posted by Susan47 on October 7, 2005, at 19:50:07
In reply to Re: Glad you heard from them » Susan47, posted by damos on October 6, 2005, at 21:58:31
Damos.
I have to go to the library, I've a ton of holds on and I know they're getting impatient to be rid of them.. got a bunch of returns too. I got a bit carried away looking at the catalogue, placing holds, and now feeling really really silly.
So, Damos, how are you faring these days? How's work? Girlfriend on the horizon, I hope ...???
Posted by sunny10 on October 10, 2005, at 11:25:23
In reply to Mmmmmwah! You're so Nice. You're lovely. » damos, posted by Susan47 on October 7, 2005, at 19:50:07
I hear they custom-make clothes for you for the same or less than you'd pay here...
I don't know much about Singapore... Why don't you Google everything that might be on the way, then pick the likeliest one?
Wish I could travel....
This is the end of the thread.
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