Shown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by AdaGrace on September 12, 2005, at 6:07:19
you realize that everything is bad, and then the rug is ripped out from under your feet.
Posted by Damos on September 12, 2005, at 17:53:30
In reply to When things are bad, posted by AdaGrace on September 12, 2005, at 6:07:19
Damn rug, probably needed replacing anyway. And when you're lying there face down on the floorboards you really begin to appreciate the texture and beauty of woodgrain.
Posted by AdaGrace on September 12, 2005, at 21:34:31
In reply to When things are bad, posted by AdaGrace on September 12, 2005, at 6:07:19
That's what being with me is. Or so I was told. I envoke violence in others when they have to deal with me, speak to me, or see me.
I got news for him.
I am a nightmare period.
I have nightmares.
My life is a nightmare.
He is a nightmare.
Everything I do, everything I see, everything I hear and everyone I encounter is a nightmare.Hell = life.
Life = nightmare.
Love = nothingness.
Posted by sunny10 on September 13, 2005, at 8:49:08
In reply to Re: A Psychotic F'ing Nightmare, posted by AdaGrace on September 12, 2005, at 21:34:31
I have always been told that you cannot make someone violent. It is within them to BE violent.
Remember that. Don't believe his hype. His Hype is designed to make you feel bad about yourself because then he has all the power. Don't let him have all of the power. Grab yours back. Realize that you are not a nightmare. You are a wonderful woman stuck in a bad situation.
Make it a little easier on yourself- give yourself the ego boosts that he never will. Remind yourself how wonderful you are.
Remind yourself of that every day.We'll help you when you foget to remind yourself...
kisses,
sunny10
Posted by Damos on September 13, 2005, at 17:38:46
In reply to Re: A Psychotic F'ing Nightmare, posted by AdaGrace on September 12, 2005, at 21:34:31
Got to agree with the Sunny one Gracie, he chooses to be violent. You may well evoke or elicit thoughts, feelings, emotions and reactions, but violence? To be violent is always a choice.
I'm only just beginning to understand that there are some who need to keep us depressed and down. Who need us to feel bad about ourselves to feel good about themselves. I think I've posted these quotes before but they bear repeating.
"Nothing can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt
"They cannot take away our self-respect if we do not give it to them." - Mahatma Gandhi
We won't give up on you Gracie, so don't go giving up on yourself - okay?
(((((AdaGrace)))))
Posted by AdaGrace on September 13, 2005, at 19:18:52
In reply to Re: A Psychotic F'ing Nightmare, posted by AdaGrace on September 12, 2005, at 21:34:31
I guess once you begin to feel good about yourself, these nightmares end. The problem is that when you surround yourself with people who feed off your insecurities and poor self esteem, you make the bed you lie in.
Therefore, you cannot feel good about yourself, because you are constantly reminded of how stupid you are, how selfish you are for thinking once of yourself, or for talking about how you have been hurt about other's actions.
It doesn't matter, because once you have given everything you can give, and there is nothing left, you end the pain I think. Then there is nothingness. And noone can take away your nothingness. There is a comfort in the nothingness.
They will never know the special person you are.
They will never see or feel all that you could have been.
They will never realize that you were someone who loved them beyond their cruel behavior. Beyond their cruel words.
They discarded your picture.
They put you in the drawer.
They pretended like you didn't exist until you didn't.
They succeeded in killing your spirit.
They flourished in their idealization that you were at fault, you were abnormal, you were not as attentive as you should.You were nothing.
Of course you were,
that's what they made you feel.That's what you allowed them to make you feel.
Posted by Toph on September 13, 2005, at 19:45:21
In reply to Re: A Psychotic F'ing Nightmare, posted by AdaGrace on September 13, 2005, at 19:18:52
Grace, I don't know how this can be, but when you beat yourself up I feel every blow.
Posted by sunny10 on September 14, 2005, at 9:08:49
In reply to Re: A Psychotic F'ing Nightmare » AdaGrace, posted by Toph on September 13, 2005, at 19:45:21
Instead of using "they", re-write what you wrote and use "I won't out up with them when they...."
Empower yourself instead of handing your energy to them, okay?
It's babysteps at first- and you won't believe what you're saying yourself, at first. But it will come to be true- you WILL feel that you have a right to be respected.
We love you, AdaGrace.
-suuny10
Posted by cockeyed on September 16, 2005, at 21:04:55
In reply to Re: Try I statements, AG, posted by sunny10 on September 14, 2005, at 9:08:49
Hi, Ada, I dread your posts. I read 'em anyway and they wake up to many ghosts. And i wish there were something better than this that I might say. Okay, so, speaking metaphoricaly or some other schtick...give him a whack with a big ugly stick. I know this is not civil, know it's wrong, but your posts leave me visceral. And I know that my kind of b.s. is totally wrong.
So, in the spirit of god-knows-what civility
provide a description. A portrait of what seems to be your nightmare. A description, an accurate depictition of all the disgraces put into one slug of hate or whatever. You seemed
trapped in snares of your own device. Yeah, right, rhymes real nice. But you seem to suffer,
and suffer...on and on. Is there any way you can make it gone, or get yourself out...
Please excuse my clumsiness because I'm the last clown to give advice out. I can't stop drinking, gonna probably kill myself, but then again maybe not. So enuff of my b.s., gonna take another hit. Hey, I'm tapering off, not gonna finish it. Cockeyed.
Posted by AdaGrace on September 17, 2005, at 17:15:21
In reply to Re: Try I statements, AG » sunny10, posted by cockeyed on September 16, 2005, at 21:04:55
>>> I dread your posts.
Yes, I'm sure many do.
>>> your posts leave me visceral. And I know that my kind of b.s. is totally wrong.
Looking up viseral at the moment,
Ahhh,
1. deep,
2. not intellectual,
3. dealing with crude or elemental emotionYeah, yeah, I get it.
>>> A portrait of what seems to be your nightmare. A description, an accurate depictition of all the disgraces put into one slug of hate or whatever. You seemed trapped in snares of your own device.The true surely does hurt. Yes, I think so, I creat the snares don't I. Sorta like that wad of gum I was told I kept for future chewing and nawing of past hurts.
>>> But you seem to suffer, and suffer...on and on. Is there any way you can make it gone, or get yourself out...
Are you sympathising or just telling me to shut up?
I like to think you are saying you relate to some of the things I write, and it conjurs memories in you you'd rather forget. Close???
I guess I get your meaning, and often tell myself the same thing.
"Snap out of it Gracie, you've got work to do"
This is the end of the thread.
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