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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Susan47 on April 7, 2005, at 3:39:50
A special vulnerability
acute chronic stress
paranoid ideas
parents both suffering,
always have suffered, secrets kept....
so many bloody secrets,
stupidity in spades:
vulnerable idiots who refuse
to admit they're damaged...Why did he not tell me all these things
at the time he might have done that
When I came in demanding to know
weeks after he terminated me
he simply said,
"I'm not your clinician"
when he could have said,
"Yes, you're manic depressive
and I'm afraid I've helped push you there
because I did not understand
I did not understand
I'm sorry I failed you
Please forgive me..I was only trying
to build your trust, and because
I was ignorant, I failed you.
Because I believed that manic depression
was unbearable, and I wanted something
else for you, I couldn't see
that you weren't necessarily pathological.
That my caring for you, could actually
help. So I did not reach out.
Because I was a frightened little doctor.
I was afraid you would kill yourself
while under my care.
And I was helpless to stop that notion
from controlling me.
I failed you, Susan, I'm sorry."Now it is all too late,
did he deserve my trust?
I don't know.
Sometimes a diagnosis, my dear,
is a Good Thing.
I had to find out on my own
the new doctor, who does not know
my trust in her eroded because the test did not show
and she feels she need not ask this man
for the expertise of his knowledge,
and in fact, he may still be ignorant
of who I really am.That the reality of my life exists outside myself
sometimes I'm not here inside me
I was ashamed when I did not know or understand
the depth of my joy, the depth of my despair
were vehicles to understanding my heritage.
My very, very special heritage.
Which may yet, in the end,
be my death knoll.Oh, my daughter.
My sweet, innocent, vibrating little
one. You've been my unfortunate soulmate
since your conception.
I love you most especially.
As my mother loved me.
But I, I shall be honest with you,
little one. For you need to know this
about yourself.
I love you, my daughter.
One day, you shall understand.
The honesty that was denied me in my life
will not cripple you, in yours.
Posted by alexandra_k on April 7, 2005, at 4:19:18
In reply to Manic Indiscretions, posted by Susan47 on April 7, 2005, at 3:39:50
(((Susan)))
I guess they are human too.
All those weak, pathetic p-doc's out there
(not dr-bob of course)
They are human
And flawed
And they get sick of us :-(
Or give up :-(
Get afraid :-(
Their egos are fragile :-(
I don't know what to say.
They can hurt
Oh they can.
Posted by Susan47 on April 7, 2005, at 9:17:53
In reply to Re: Manic Indiscretions » Susan47, posted by alexandra_k on April 7, 2005, at 4:19:18
Only weak and pathetic
if they refuse to learn.
Posted by Susan47 on April 7, 2005, at 10:21:18
In reply to Re: Manic Indiscretions, posted by Susan47 on April 7, 2005, at 9:17:53
Knowing me,
knowing you,
it's the best I can do.Yes, it is, isn't it?
Here, allow me to predict.
Dear Susan,
Well it's been quite a ride.
A ride I could've done without
quite frankly.
I did my best.
I'm sorry it wasn't good enough.
Wish you well,
and continue to seek
support
for a problem
I'm glad I don't have.Mwah.
Posted by Susan47 on April 7, 2005, at 11:52:13
In reply to ABBA, posted by Susan47 on April 7, 2005, at 10:21:18
Exactly the *sshole
I thought you always were.
Oh, yes.Mwah.
Your ignorance is total, Honey.
Posted by PM80 on April 12, 2005, at 13:42:06
In reply to Manic Indiscretions, posted by Susan47 on April 7, 2005, at 3:39:50
I got goose bumps reading this. You are right on the money. And you are right when you say that he failed you; he did. He was not deserving of your trust, this little boy playing doctor. Maybe I'm too harsh, but I do not think I am half as harsh on him as he was on you. Write until you can let him go far from your thoughts, until he is a merely memory of a different life and still-growing Susan that helped you become the person you were always meant to be.
Posted by Susan47 on April 12, 2005, at 21:19:24
In reply to Re: Manic Indiscretions » Susan47, posted by PM80 on April 12, 2005, at 13:42:06
Yes, but where do I send the erotica? Because that's next. That has to be next. It's in there and needs to get out but I have no where, No Where, to put it ...
This is the end of the thread.
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