![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 26. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Susan47 on April 7, 2005, at 10:47:47
this Muse.
She's awake now,
alive, for a brief moment
in time, helped along
by other methods ...
necessary,
for now.
Perhaps, soon, life will be enough.
Posted by Susan47 on April 7, 2005, at 16:55:41
In reply to Persuasive, posted by Susan47 on April 7, 2005, at 10:47:47
I always felt it was within my rights to lust after you.
I wanted you so terribly much, to feel your skin and to see your eyes close to mine. The feel of your lips upon mine. I know the feeling would be heavenly. Absolute heaven on earth. Because you are you, you are so incredibly much; when I saw you wearing the sweater today I almost fainted. Do you know what you do to me? Do you understand the heat you create in me? Isn't it lovely? It is so very lovely ... goodbye ... goodbye is always there in my heart, so near so achingly near. How will I live?
Posted by Susan47 on April 8, 2005, at 14:32:02
In reply to Hmm., posted by Susan47 on April 7, 2005, at 16:55:41
Not in public,
not anymore. I can't carry this.
It has to die now.
Because to write any of this in a letter, I don't think I could do it. Because maybe none of it is really true. Maybe I made it all up, it's a construct of my imagination, which was always been superlative ... and somewhere inside me I know, I know why I created You. Why? Because little ms. ugly, the awkward shy homely girl in the corner over there, the one with the funny skin, she needed magical You to love her and want her. So she could believe that maybe she was beautiful, too. Not homely, after all. Not shy. Nor stupid. nor left out .. but she was anyway, and learning to live with that will bring me peace at last.
She prays.
Posted by Susan47 on April 8, 2005, at 14:44:23
In reply to Please, posted by Susan47 on April 8, 2005, at 14:32:02
of my love, the intensity of that tells me how much I want to enjoy my life. How much I want to accept myself, love myself and move on. Because for a while I made myself believe I was accepted by you, my therapist. A man I really do love very deeply, no matter that I don't know all the details of your life. I know enough about you, of you, to feel your worth, your value, and your inner beauty. The fact that you are so much more than anything I've seen of you, anything I know, makes the intensity so incredibly beautiful, and very haunting.
Posted by Susan47 on April 12, 2005, at 10:26:46
In reply to The Force, posted by Susan47 on April 8, 2005, at 14:44:23
everywhere and nowhere
and always I am afraid
to catch the two of you
in any intimacy
because in my mind
I have seen you in the
ultimate intimacy.
Posted by alexandra_k on April 18, 2005, at 19:21:13
In reply to I look for you, posted by Susan47 on April 12, 2005, at 10:26:46
You are beautiful Susan.
Really
Beautiful.
You make me weep.
Posted by Susan47 on April 18, 2005, at 20:30:22
In reply to Re: I look for you, posted by alexandra_k on April 18, 2005, at 19:21:13
Okay, you are just the most supportive person I've ever met. Supportive of me, anyhow. You just make me always feel so good, and I missed you so much. Because no matter who you're posting to or what you say, there's so much I admire in you. Really. Truly, and now I'm going to cry, except that I'm all cried out already. From before. I'm so happy you're feeling good again. So happy for you. People love you and care for you and understand you, wow.
Posted by alexandra_k on April 18, 2005, at 23:32:41
In reply to Re: I look for you » alexandra_k, posted by Susan47 on April 18, 2005, at 20:30:22
(((Susan)))
You have been great for me too.
You are so wonderfully expressive
You get things out.
I can only do that sometimes.
People understand you too Susan
You better never go anywhere
I would miss you too much
Posted by Susan47 on April 19, 2005, at 9:31:44
In reply to Re: I look for you » Susan47, posted by alexandra_k on April 18, 2005, at 23:32:41
Well, just seeing you back on the boards again I find myself zeroing in on your posts. That tells me how much I missed you, you better never go anywhere either. Maybe someday we'll be lucky enough to meet in person. In the meantime, I hope we can continue to Babble ...
Posted by sunny10 on April 19, 2005, at 10:03:50
In reply to Re: I look for you, posted by Susan47 on April 19, 2005, at 9:31:44
Posted by alexandra_k on April 19, 2005, at 17:50:43
In reply to Re: I look for your posts, too, Alex (nm), posted by sunny10 on April 19, 2005, at 10:03:50
I really feel very lucky to have such amazingly caring, sensitive, thoughtful, talented friends. I really feel quite blown away. I have never felt so cared for before in my entire life. I feel so very lucky.
Posted by Susan47 on April 19, 2005, at 19:08:15
In reply to Re:(((Susan))) (((Sunny))), posted by alexandra_k on April 19, 2005, at 17:50:43
This sounds childish but oh well what the heck .. Cool!
Posted by alexandra_k on April 19, 2005, at 20:17:33
In reply to ((((Alex)))), posted by Susan47 on April 19, 2005, at 19:08:15
Posted by alexandra_k on April 19, 2005, at 21:36:53
In reply to ((((Alex)))), posted by Susan47 on April 19, 2005, at 19:08:15
One thing I love about our Susan is that she is never afraid to share what is on her mind.
You say things that I think but would never dare say.
And that amuses the hell out of me :-)
And makes me feel more normal and more understood even though I might not say that I've often thought the same...
I have thought of an example. Maybe I should Babblemail it to you.
But you are wonderful Susan.
Just wonderful.
I got all wound up about you getting yourself blocked over the *ss thing.
Almost got a blocking myself.
Started a poll even.
;-)
Susan
My mirror
(sometimes)
:-)
Posted by Susan47 on April 19, 2005, at 21:47:35
In reply to Re: ((((Susan)))) » Susan47, posted by alexandra_k on April 19, 2005, at 21:36:53
It's flattering that a woman with a brain would say those lovely things about me, ME!! If I took all the Babble moments this last year that have made me feel good about myself.. I think this place has helped me stop from going insane, I mean that very literally. Because insanity is always just over the line, just.. there.
Posted by Susan47 on April 19, 2005, at 21:56:24
In reply to Re: ((((Susan)))), posted by Susan47 on April 19, 2005, at 21:47:35
Whoa, back up the truck, women have brains of course I AM one I just never thought I had much of a brain, is all I meant. Just so we all know.
Posted by alexandra_k on April 19, 2005, at 22:01:39
In reply to Re: ((((Susan)))), posted by Susan47 on April 19, 2005, at 21:56:24
Oh Susan, of course you have a brain!
Really
You are one smart lady.
I'm not so good with the old compliments.
I used to hate them.
Thought people only gave them to me to embarrass the hell out of me.
I used to scowl when people gave me a compliment.
My nice DBT therapist spent a lot of time with me on that.
I have learned to take compliments.
But I guess I still haven't really gotten the hang of giving them.
I refrain 'cause I think people will respond to them the way I used to - to feel humiliated like I am mocking them or something.
But most people like 'em.
I need to remember that.
And getting better at giving them sometimes.
(((Susan)))
You are one smart lady.
Yup.
YOU
:-)
Posted by 10derHeart on April 19, 2005, at 22:34:47
In reply to Re:(((Susan))) (((Sunny))), posted by alexandra_k on April 19, 2005, at 17:50:43
> I really feel very lucky to have such amazingly caring, sensitive, thoughtful, talented friends. I really feel quite blown away. I have never felt so cared for before in my entire life. I feel so very lucky.
If you can allow me to put it another way, the way I see it from my own spiritual view...
It's not luck. It's blessing. You are a blessing to others, and so you tend to receive many blessings in return. Not an absolute guarantee, mind you. Not like an even up trade. That is too simplistic. But the tendency, I think, increases by leaps and bounds...
Hmmm...
Think I just about restated the "golden rule" which is familiar across most cultures and beliefs.Alex, on Babble, you *do unto* your friends in a very special way. So if your heart's desire - conscious or not - is to be treated that way in return (and why wouldn't it be?) - you are receiving your desire.
At least here on Babble.
At least a good part of the time.Blessings :-)
Posted by Susan47 on April 19, 2005, at 23:43:26
In reply to Re: ((((Susan)))), posted by alexandra_k on April 19, 2005, at 22:01:39
something I heard or read yesterday, I used to say this when someone complimented me.. I used to say, automatically, "Don't say that", I haven't said that for so long now that I forgot it used to be my automatic reaction. That's sad. When someone gave me a compliment I always responded as though they'd just told a lie. And I really believed it. And sometimes I honestly still do. Sometimes it is a lie when somebody compliments you. But surely not always?
Posted by alexandra_k on April 19, 2005, at 23:53:21
In reply to Re:(((Susan))) (((Sunny))) » alexandra_k, posted by 10derHeart on April 19, 2005, at 22:34:47
Thats beautiful.
I still think I'm the exception sometimes.
People are equal and deserve to be treated with kindness and respect etc etc
(except me).
Maybe its irrational...
I think there is a perfectly logical defense of oneself being different...
But it is hard to feel deserving or worthy sometimes.
Well, it is for me.
I guess my biggest thing is about my existence.
Not happy about that mostly.
But I'm getting there...
Well.
Enough to forget my discomfort for a time anyway.
Baby steps...
Posted by alexandra_k on April 19, 2005, at 23:54:18
In reply to Re: (((Sunny))) » 10derHeart, posted by alexandra_k on April 19, 2005, at 23:53:21
But Sunny gets one too of course.
Posted by alexandra_k on April 19, 2005, at 23:57:02
In reply to Alexandra, you know you reminded me of, posted by Susan47 on April 19, 2005, at 23:43:26
I know they aren't always lies because I have complimented you and I wasn't lying. And if you have given a genuine compliment then I guess you know that they aren't always lies too.
Sometimes they sort of can be... But I guess the intent of a complement is for the recepient to feel good about themself. Sometimes the words may be false but the intent still genuine, do you get what I mean? I think mostly they are both true and genuine, though.
They are a bit hard to take, though.
I get what you mean there.
Posted by sunny10 on April 20, 2005, at 13:59:39
In reply to Re: (((Susan))) » Susan47, posted by alexandra_k on April 19, 2005, at 23:57:02
I am not good at accepting them. I usually wonder what it is the person wants by getting on my good side- yes, completely paranoid and out of left field... but the fielder's glove seems to be the one I'm trying to throw away! (baseball analogy, sorry it s*ucked...!)
And, apparently, when I give them, I do it badly- am usually misunderstood!
The ones I can't stand are like, "that's quite a dress", or "where did you get those shoes?", et cetera...
They are usually the product of someone trying to be civil, but they COULD mean "that's by far the ugliest dress I've ever seen", or "I need to know the name of that shoe store to make sure I never go there" !!! So, of course, I never know how to respond to them... Those "civil" pseudo-compliments just leave me tongue-tied everytime...I, too, find myself to be socally inept at times, Alex!!!
Anyone got ideas on how I should respond to those types of "compliments"?
Posted by Damos on April 20, 2005, at 17:34:17
In reply to Re: compliments, posted by sunny10 on April 20, 2005, at 13:59:39
Having followed this thread and realised just how badly I suck at this too I have decided to try simply saying "thank-you" if I receive anything remotely resembling a compliment.
Got to be better than my normal non or inappropriate response, and/or laughing and fobbing it off.
Posted by 10derHeart on April 21, 2005, at 9:59:34
In reply to Re: compliments » sunny10, posted by Damos on April 20, 2005, at 17:34:17
You know, that really is the first step. And I've found it works, with much practice.
I was horrible at compliments until a couple years ago. I just decided to say, "thank you." And for me, to also try to look the person in the eye (incredibly hard as *appropriate* eye contact is a HUGE issue/problem/challenge with me...)
At first, it's like you're going to choke or something. You find yourself doing some, "well, thanks, but..." or things like that. But, with repetition, it gets easier. Really. In fact, it can become natural and second nature. Doesn't mean I 100% accept every single compliment, but it does mean most times my mind is saying, "well, yeah, that sounds right/okay...could be true." Sometimes that's a real step foreward! And sometimes...now sit down so you don't faint..I can even say thanks and think, "d*mn right, " about whatever nice thing they've said. But it did take a LONG time to get to that point.
Change is possible. It's an erasing and re-writing of those "heads tapes" ana mentioned in another thread....
Go forward in thread:
Psycho-Babble Writing | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.