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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Susan47 on March 21, 2005, at 18:59:28
You T, you.
You think
you're something
Special,
Don't You.Well, you Are
And that kills me.
It kills me.
Because I
am not special to you.You bastard, you.
You do not understand
the meaning of life.
You take your meaning
from people like me
And when you're ready,
You Toss Us.Bastard.
Posted by Damos on March 21, 2005, at 22:22:21
In reply to You, posted by Susan47 on March 21, 2005, at 18:59:28
Come on now Susan, that's a bit tame for the Susan I've grown to know & love. Do yourself a favour & really let rip. What happened was wrong, it shouldn't have happened and it must sure as hell hurt. So I'm imagining that you must be wanting to spit whole damn forrests not just little chips.
You're completely individual and utterly irreplaceable.
Posted by alexandra_k on March 22, 2005, at 4:25:13
In reply to Re: You » Susan47, posted by Damos on March 21, 2005, at 22:22:21
(((Susan)))
Oh Susan.
I don't know what to say...
Posted by Susan47 on March 22, 2005, at 13:49:28
In reply to Re: You » Damos, posted by alexandra_k on March 22, 2005, at 4:25:13
I said a Lot.
Didn't I.
Didn't I just tell you
everything, more than
anything you ever
wanted to know about me.What did you tell me
about yourself?
What courage did you ever show?
What faith did you
ever have in me?None.
And it almost
destroyed me, didn't it.
You know, now.
There are no more excuses.
You know what I needed
was to love you.
Unfortunate choice, isn't it.But it's the choice I made.
I made it because I had to.
Sometimes, it appears
we have no choices.
And some of us, those that
are extremely hurt,
Flawed and unwhole,
sometimes we have no choice.And people like you have the power
to make it better for us,
to heal us.
You have the power all in your hands.
And you chose not to use it.
None of it.
But you have no idea, absolutely none
how much that hurts me.Because now I know I am
truly unacceptable.
My intellect is not whole.
My mind is confused.
My soul is unknown to you.
My body is broken and not beautiful.
My face reflects too much worry
to be truly attractive
to one such as you.The man who seeks perfection.
Perfect home, wife, children...
Do you know, I've pictured you
working in a workshop, back of your house
Sculpting, you have the hands
of possibility.
Have you seen your hands? Ever, really,
truly looked at them?
Appreciate their creativity, what they
can do for yourself, for others,
the beautiful images they're capable
of creating?The perfection you seek lies within yourself
not the ones or the things
that circle you in life,
nor the circumstances you inhabit.
I came to strangers for help.
But no one can truly help heal me
except you. And you chose no.No.
No.
No.
A child's first word.
Posted by Susan47 on March 22, 2005, at 14:27:55
In reply to Say? (Not poetry, but words only), posted by Susan47 on March 22, 2005, at 13:49:28
is this how it feels?
Before the head goes under
for the last time.
Tightness in the chest.
Breathing not allowed.
Posted by AdaGrace on March 22, 2005, at 16:55:14
In reply to Drowning, posted by Susan47 on March 22, 2005, at 14:27:55
I've always thought so.
AdaGrace
Posted by Susan47 on March 23, 2005, at 12:19:33
In reply to Re: Drowning, Yes » Susan47, posted by AdaGrace on March 22, 2005, at 16:55:14
Wanted someone like him,
But not like him, either.
Someone who truly would reflect myself, my inner beauty, which I know I have. We all have it. We all deserve someone to reflect our inner beauty.So, he did not reflect me.
He reflected his own thoughts
ideas, visions, ideas of me.
Which were unkind and, in the end,
intolerant and not understanding.
And afraid. He reflected great fear.But I walk past his fear, and I say this.
Posted by Susan47 on March 23, 2005, at 12:28:03
In reply to I've Always, posted by Susan47 on March 23, 2005, at 12:19:33
I knew love like this could Be.
I loved you unabashedly, in the end.
Did you see the chutzpah?
Did you appreciate what it took to open that door,
knowing that I would see and feel your rejection,
but needing also to be there,
to feed my desire and beat myself up with it.That I would feel it, almost to the fullest.
There is no feeling desire with you, not unless
I dream.
I love to dream.
It's all I have.
The men, the ones whose eyes twinkle when they look at me.
The one who smile broadly, and flirt openly,
giving broad hints as to the pleasure of my company,
oh yes, they're nice, they're lovely, they're
unashamedly virile too.
But they're not you.
Not the one I choose to protect me in passion.Why did I make it impossible
to ever really have that?
Why did I put all the blocks in the way,
to ensure there would never ever
be any therapeutic relationship
none of any kind.
You have no idea
how I frustrate myself, how I close all doors
in my life.
And then I try to open them again,
never learning, never able to understand
that I truly mean something.
I am more than nothing.I wear a touch of scent
today, in your honour.
Because I do love you.
I wish you knew who you were.
Posted by sunny10 on March 23, 2005, at 12:34:50
In reply to I've Always, posted by Susan47 on March 23, 2005, at 12:19:33
I read and re-read this thread. I wanted to take it all in and "feel it" as well as to read the words themselves.
My opinion (unsolicited, I realize- print this and burn this if you like...)is that you are feeling pain because he was not all you wanted him to be.
There is a veritable grocery list in there about what your ideal mate wuold be like. That's a very empowering thing; to know what you want.
You're definitely one up on me!
This is the end of the thread.
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