Posted by Susan47 on March 23, 2005, at 12:28:03
In reply to I've Always, posted by Susan47 on March 23, 2005, at 12:19:33
I knew love like this could Be.
I loved you unabashedly, in the end.
Did you see the chutzpah?
Did you appreciate what it took to open that door,
knowing that I would see and feel your rejection,
but needing also to be there,
to feed my desire and beat myself up with it.That I would feel it, almost to the fullest.
There is no feeling desire with you, not unless
I dream.
I love to dream.
It's all I have.
The men, the ones whose eyes twinkle when they look at me.
The one who smile broadly, and flirt openly,
giving broad hints as to the pleasure of my company,
oh yes, they're nice, they're lovely, they're
unashamedly virile too.
But they're not you.
Not the one I choose to protect me in passion.Why did I make it impossible
to ever really have that?
Why did I put all the blocks in the way,
to ensure there would never ever
be any therapeutic relationship
none of any kind.
You have no idea
how I frustrate myself, how I close all doors
in my life.
And then I try to open them again,
never learning, never able to understand
that I truly mean something.
I am more than nothing.I wear a touch of scent
today, in your honour.
Because I do love you.
I wish you knew who you were.
poster:Susan47
thread:473760
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050321/msgs/474608.html