Psycho-Babble Writing Thread 450519

Shown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.

I loved and lost, and lost, and lost, and lost

Posted by Susan47 on January 31, 2005, at 10:36:35

Everything and everyone I love will disappear
Mostly they disappear while I'm loving them :)
I don't love so that I can hurt myself
or be hurt,
I love so that I can open myself up for being loved in return,
and sometimes I suppose I love the wrong people.
Because often I'm not loved back.
That kind of love is destructive.
It hurts me.
It diminishes me, and makes me less.
And when I'm less, I don't know how to feel good,
or happy, or hopeful.
I cry so much. I'm whining,
feeling sorry for myself.
For everything I've never had.

My children left this morning

Posted by Susan47 on January 31, 2005, at 10:44:34

In reply to I loved and lost, and lost, and lost, and lost, posted by Susan47 on January 31, 2005, at 10:36:35

to be with their father, who is sick,
and they're sick and staying home from school,
and I'm alone, and I should be looking for a job,
but I don't want one, I want everything back
the way it was ten years ago,
and I want to be who I was before I met S, and
took on all his life problems,
and had his children,
although they're incredibly beautiful children
and beautiful people,
they're being ruined by his lackadaisical attitude
toward everything is life, especially rearing them,
and I have absolutely no say in anything anymore,
everyone's confidence in me is completely shot,
because I fell apart under the pressure of trying to
bear up under the *ssh*le S, I fell apart,
and now no one trusts me or loves me properly,
including myself.

Re: My children left this morning

Posted by sunny10 on February 1, 2005, at 14:18:57

In reply to My children left this morning, posted by Susan47 on January 31, 2005, at 10:44:34

holy crap, you are me.....

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