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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by just plain jane on January 19, 2005, at 0:53:34
mother you were wonderful
at swinging me around
drop me on the ground
rub my face in the dirt
make it hurt
so you won't have toturn this child into a bucket
aw, fuk it, no one wants her anyway
fill her full of all your sorrows
smashed dreams of tomorrows
that will not become todayyou caged me for four years
with your tears,
implanted all your fears
in bad dreams
ignore my screamstold me secrets
that no child should ever know
watched them grow
poison pouring through my brain
feeling pain
etching deeply in my soultoo bad you never knew me
let the love running through me
permeate the sadness in your heart
stay lonely with your hate
it's not your fate
it's what you've chosenif I could give you joy
I'd been a boy
a rotten shyt, like my father
so you'd tell me
would you still try to sell me?I don't know why I bother.
Posted by saw on January 19, 2005, at 3:39:34
In reply to mother love, posted by just plain jane on January 19, 2005, at 0:53:34
This is well written but I have no comforting words for the pain reflected in this writing.
I shouldn't post when I don't know what to say but just felt I had to.
Sabrina
Posted by alexandra_k on January 19, 2005, at 5:02:42
In reply to mother love, posted by just plain jane on January 19, 2005, at 0:53:34
Yeah. It is hard to know what to say. Sounds like we had similar mothers...
Thanks for your poem.
Posted by sunny10 on January 19, 2005, at 10:15:45
In reply to Re: mother love » just plain jane, posted by alexandra_k on January 19, 2005, at 5:02:42
yes, we had similar mothers.
Have you heard the song "Daughters", by John Mayer? My only complaint about it is that he doesn't delve as deeply into what our mothers do to us, too!
And, yes, "it's the same skin she's standin' in"...forever.
The T's all tell me that since I KNOW why I feel the way I feel deep down, I should be able to "just decide to change it"... Did anyone ever teach you how to think for yourself? Always walking on eggshells to keep others happy so I didn't get hurt is how I learned to think. How do you learn (and trust) to turn off those instincts and figure out "what you like" ?
Your poem spoke to me. I had to let you know you are not alone. I just wish I could help. Help all of us...
Posted by just plain jane on January 19, 2005, at 13:11:25
In reply to Re: mother love » just plain jane, posted by saw on January 19, 2005, at 3:39:34
thank you.
the pain is in
the pages of my memories
no longer sharp and cutting
scars that healed years ago
still tender to the touchthe legacy of pain
handed down
derailed in my mind
now harmless
a reminder
not to pass it on
please, if you feel something, then you have something to say.
i'm here to share, can't do that alone.just plain jane
Posted by just plain jane on January 19, 2005, at 13:51:22
In reply to Re: mother love, posted by sunny10 on January 19, 2005, at 10:15:45
> yes, we had similar mothers.
>
> Have you heard the song "Daughters", by John Mayer? My only complaint about it is that he doesn't delve as deeply into what our mothers do to us, too!I'm not sure, I'd have to hear it to say. Delve, Sunny, he couldn't know.
> And, yes, "it's the same skin she's standin' in"...forever.
>
> The T's all tell me that since I KNOW why I feel the way I feel deep down, I should be able to "just decide to change it"...Something I wondered about for a long time. It's not until I let the feelings I recognized, and knew the source of, and kept locked away be wholly painful again that I found the ability to change anything.
>Did anyone ever teach you how to think for yourself?
Constantly heard "think", "use your brain", but when I stated or acted on the thinking I did for myself I got punished.
>Always walking on eggshells to keep others happy so I didn't get hurt is how I learned to think.
For me it wasn't eggshells, more like barefoot running through the broken glass, trying to help them see the danger of their paths into the miseries they chose. My family did not think nor communicate deeply. I was alone. The Monster... "Monster Ann".
>How do you learn (and trust) to turn off those instincts and figure out "what you like" ?
Not the way I did, please, spare yourself the self-inflicted continuation of the beating you have suffered so far in life.
What I like and how I live now is what I always dreamed. Although I've learned sociability, trust is reserved, and I would never want to be without my instincts.
It may be "the same skin", but the innards and soul, if you will, are uniquely yours. I had to consciously make the effort to allow myself to be comfortable in my own skin, then it came much easier to allow myself the indulgence of figuring out "what I like", in all ways, what makes me tick.
It is a life's work.
> Your poem spoke to me. I had to let you know you are not alone. I just wish I could help. Help all of us...
Participating here IS helping, in and of itself.
Thank you for sharing.
jpj
This is the end of the thread.
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