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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by stargazer2 on August 10, 2007, at 11:32:57
Is there anyway to get around having 2 or 3 job references when each job you have left with no persons who saw your potential or talents. Due to my depression and leaving the last few jobs so precipitiously, I have never been given a good reference and it is unfair since I usually worked so hard, tried to keep working, but usually gave up and then after I left, my attempt to get a reference was met with one that was less than glowing. I never seem to make a lasting impression and the depression always caused me to quit without planning for getting my employment recommendations in order.
Do agencies require references as well as companies do? I am so afraid of never getting a job because it looks like I never made a difference yet I always felt I worked very hard, usually more so than my co-workers, but they were the ones that came out smelling like a rose despite doing things halfway or with as little effort as possible. I even had another worker tell mei was working too hard.
My previous managers have given me bad reviews which have come back to cause me to lose a job prospect. I hesitate to even ask for one anymore. Too many times when I left, it was sudden and I left without another job. My last job was over a year ago and I'm afraid I can never be able to work again unless I have good references. Any ideas?
Stargazer
Posted by Phillipa on August 10, 2007, at 18:14:49
In reply to Lack of Job references?, posted by stargazer2 on August 10, 2007, at 11:32:57
Worked for agencies with my other jobs and yes they require references have you thought of another field of work? Love Phillipa ps I always had two jobs in case something should happen to one per diem.
Posted by stargazer2 on August 10, 2007, at 19:25:56
In reply to Re: Lack of Job references? » stargazer2, posted by Phillipa on August 10, 2007, at 18:14:49
Even if I thought if another line of work I would still need references, right? You are only defined by what others say about you I guess. So if you have no one to write a good reference, you're $hit out of luck...SG
Posted by ClearSkies on August 16, 2007, at 10:14:48
In reply to Lack of Job references?, posted by stargazer2 on August 10, 2007, at 11:32:57
Hi, Stargazer. I've left several jobs due to problems with depression and anxiety. When I stopped working over 2 years ago - basically I quit before I was asked to leave - I thought, "this is it. I won't ever be able to get a good reference because of poor performance and reviews."
(I have a working interview this afternoon. Wish me luck.) The opportunity is via a former co-worker, who, through her own hard work and perseverance, is now in a position to be able to recommend whom her employer should take on. I'm coming in to help out a short-handed office, and to see if I'm a good fit. If it works out, then I'll have a job - with no references not an issue. And even if this doesn't jell into the right job, I'm not as nervous about where the right opportunity is going to come from.
If you've got good personal references, use these. If you've done volunteer work and they love you there, use them as references. Not everyone is able to bring a glowing job reference from their previous employers. I'd say, at this point, that accentuating the positive references you can get from elsewhere might even be more valuable, and flesh you out as a prospect.
ClearSkies
Posted by Poet on August 18, 2007, at 15:24:17
In reply to Lack of Job references?, posted by stargazer2 on August 10, 2007, at 11:32:57
Hi Stargazer,
I've been in your situation many times. I worked through a temporary employment agency doing administrative assistant work and they did not ask for references. They did a work background check by contacting human resources of the places I put on my application.
I also am a very accomplished liar about why I left jobs. My personal favorite being budget cut I was laid off, followed by so was my supervisor, I could try to track him/her down for a reference...
I am grateful that my current employer did not ask for references. Likely because I was hired the day before they fired the person that had my job. I feel for her, but I really needed a job.
Good luck.
Poet
Posted by stargazer2 on August 27, 2007, at 8:39:58
In reply to Re: Lack of Job references? » stargazer2, posted by ClearSkies on August 16, 2007, at 10:14:48
Thanks for your reply...I am now in another deep depression, so I am having a hard time just getting up and figuring out what to do on a daily basis.
I haven't burned bridges, although one time I used a manager's recommendation and it was not positive so although I felt I was a good employee, after you leave, things change and people give less than positive reviews.
Why do they give negaitve reviews when you are so needy for a good review? I have no faith in other's ever liking me enough to try and help me out. It seems like all I ever face is negativity
from others and becasue I am weak they use it and hurt me more.Can't people just be kind and write about your positive traits rather than emphasizing negitive ones.
Posted by stargazer2 on August 27, 2007, at 8:49:46
In reply to Re: Lack of Job references? » stargazer2, posted by Poet on August 18, 2007, at 15:24:17
Poet, I am in such a negative place right now that I don't believe I will ever be able to work again and the most difficult of that belief is that I was a really hard worker. I have little to show after I left since I always left for my own insecure or negative reasons, not really reasons someone without depression would leave for.
I lose the ability to be objective and leave situations when I feel they are intolerable but that has happened so often, I must have left because my depression was so overwhelming that minor irritants become too great for me to withstand; Therefore I have left many jobs without valid reasons, at least that is what I now believe, although at the time, I was unable to tolerate the work situation any longer.
My depression is so overwheming that right now I feel incapable of ever working again, but that alternates with wanting to work but not feeling good enough to put myself out there. I have lost the ability to know when I am stable enough to interview with any confidence in my abilities.
I'm not sure what I can offer anyone since I have such poor self esteem right now...SG
Posted by ClearSkies on August 27, 2007, at 13:40:51
In reply to Re: Lack of Job references?/ClearSkies, posted by stargazer2 on August 27, 2007, at 8:39:58
> Thanks for your reply...I am now in another deep depression, so I am having a hard time just getting up and figuring out what to do on a daily basis.
>Sorry you're having a difficult time. The focus now should be on your recovery from depression, though it's hard not to see the job/work issue lumped in with it, I know. I did finally figure out that it was me bringing the problems to each of the jobs rather than the jobs themselves being the problems. (Did that make sense?) That is, I thought that what I was doing was finding a less stressful job with each progression down the management ladder - I guess you would call it a slide :-/ , only to find that I would become just as miserable and unstable at the less challenging positions. It wasn't until I was a mail room clerk, and a sobbing one at that, that I figured out that "job stress" was NOT what was making me so unhappy.
At the last position I did leave before I was asked to, but I feel weird about even asking for a reference because my supervisor knew about my struggles with depression and anxiety. I don't think that personal information, though confidentially given, would be left out of a reference, given the nature of the supervisor. (Insert personal wrathful vindictive tendencies noted here.)
> I haven't burned bridges, although one time I used a manager's recommendation and it was not positive so although I felt I was a good employee, after you leave, things change and people give less than positive reviews.
>
> Why do they give negaitve reviews when you are so needy for a good review? I have no faith in other's ever liking me enough to try and help me out. It seems like all I ever face is negativity
> from others and becasue I am weak they use it and hurt me more.
>
> Can't people just be kind and write about your positive traits rather than emphasizing negitive ones.Unfortunately it seems to depend upon who they get at the other end of the phone. References can range from simply confirming employment information like dates and salary paid to asking whether people liked to work with you (are you that "team player" they're looking for?).
It's all rather sickening to think about.I hope that you start to feel better soon.
ClearSkies
Posted by Phillipa on August 27, 2007, at 19:56:50
In reply to Re: Lack of Job references?/ClearSkies » stargazer2, posted by ClearSkies on August 27, 2007, at 13:40:51
So true in my field at one time I was a Director of Nursing in a nursing home did all the hiring and firing of nurses and had to call many states for references. Some would only give dates worked there. One place at one time said this is confidential only by work the person in question is suffering from a severe form of mental illness and no I don't recommend them at all wouldn't hire them. It was not depression something very serious and this person was not on their meds and I'd already let them start stupid me as they were doing very strange things like trying to wash a patient in a sink. It was extremely difficult to unhire the person. The Administrator and myself had to say we had too many employees and must cut down with the last to be hired to be let go first. I learned a very valuable lesson. If short staffed check the references first. And in your case don't think this applies at all in anyway what so ever. Phillipa
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