Posted by ClearSkies on August 27, 2007, at 13:40:51
In reply to Re: Lack of Job references?/ClearSkies, posted by stargazer2 on August 27, 2007, at 8:39:58
> Thanks for your reply...I am now in another deep depression, so I am having a hard time just getting up and figuring out what to do on a daily basis.
>Sorry you're having a difficult time. The focus now should be on your recovery from depression, though it's hard not to see the job/work issue lumped in with it, I know. I did finally figure out that it was me bringing the problems to each of the jobs rather than the jobs themselves being the problems. (Did that make sense?) That is, I thought that what I was doing was finding a less stressful job with each progression down the management ladder - I guess you would call it a slide :-/ , only to find that I would become just as miserable and unstable at the less challenging positions. It wasn't until I was a mail room clerk, and a sobbing one at that, that I figured out that "job stress" was NOT what was making me so unhappy.
At the last position I did leave before I was asked to, but I feel weird about even asking for a reference because my supervisor knew about my struggles with depression and anxiety. I don't think that personal information, though confidentially given, would be left out of a reference, given the nature of the supervisor. (Insert personal wrathful vindictive tendencies noted here.)
> I haven't burned bridges, although one time I used a manager's recommendation and it was not positive so although I felt I was a good employee, after you leave, things change and people give less than positive reviews.
>
> Why do they give negaitve reviews when you are so needy for a good review? I have no faith in other's ever liking me enough to try and help me out. It seems like all I ever face is negativity
> from others and becasue I am weak they use it and hurt me more.
>
> Can't people just be kind and write about your positive traits rather than emphasizing negitive ones.Unfortunately it seems to depend upon who they get at the other end of the phone. References can range from simply confirming employment information like dates and salary paid to asking whether people liked to work with you (are you that "team player" they're looking for?).
It's all rather sickening to think about.I hope that you start to feel better soon.
ClearSkies
poster:ClearSkies
thread:775257
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/work/20061208/msgs/779081.html