![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by ClearSkies on September 19, 2005, at 21:42:37
a frightening thing, it is to feel. to really feel, without the enveloping blackness of a martini, glass of wine, a smoke.
i'm not sure when it will stop hurting
afraid that i will say, enuf!!
where to stuff those emotions now, how to channel them. not sleeping well at all these days, brain has lots to chew on and mull over.
Posted by verne on September 20, 2005, at 0:08:41
In reply to feeling emotional and sober, posted by ClearSkies on September 19, 2005, at 21:42:37
I know what you're talking about. Being conscious, too aware, too much feeling to cope with.
I feel as though I'm out on the edge of a small limb, unsteady, and dizzy. Being conscious is painful.
Even something good happening to me, hurts.
Tonight I've taken refuge and found relief in a strong pot of kratom and calea zachechichi (sp) tea. (dream herb)
I can't find a doc who'll prescribe a benzo - haven't taken any in ten years - so I've sought alternative remedies for anxiety. I liked xanax and didn't drink for almost 2 years (longest stretch in my adult life) while taking that or other benzos. Yet now the docs say they can't prescribe it because I'm an alcoholic. Never mind that xanax won't kill me but alcohol will.
Oh well, I'm stuck in the conservative Bible Belt for two more years, hoping one day to move to the Northwest or Oregon Coast where docs are more liberal and pot laws less severe.
If acid were legal I'd do that too. Used to be my favorite anti-depressant. My face hurt the next day from smiling so much.
Verne
Posted by ButterflyHigh on September 20, 2005, at 0:35:54
In reply to feeling emotional and sober, posted by ClearSkies on September 19, 2005, at 21:42:37
I'm right there with you - my heart goes out to you. I have 30+ days clean off of Xanax and 33 days clean today off of Vicodin and all I seem to be doing mostly is crying, and feeling, I understand what you're talking about. It is very frightning to feel all our feelings, I agree with you without a narcotic, a shot of tequila or a blunt! I pray you are in a good 12 step meeting and putting your faith and trust in a higher power. Not sure if you sufferred physically from your addiction as well, as I know it's rough gaining health back after all the abuse we did to it by using.
Wishing you nothing but strength to face a better tomorrow - everyday.
All the best to you.
Posted by ClearSkies on September 20, 2005, at 5:45:49
In reply to Re: feeling emotional and sober » ClearSkies, posted by ButterflyHigh on September 20, 2005, at 0:35:54
Thanks for your concern, Butterfly. I'm in an intensive outpatient programme and am a member of Women For Sobriety (weekly face to face meetings). I spoke with my sponsor yesterday from AA and told her that I'd love to be her friend, but for the moment I find meetings to be way too triggering and difficult to filter ("take what you need and leave the rest") to be good for me. After the outpatient programme is complete I may go to meetings again. At least I know I have people to call and talk with.
I am so fortunate that I have not suffered any permanent damage from chronic alcohol dependence. It's the unlearning and retraining of my thought process; not accepting that a trigger reaction is the best one to act upon, and finding out who this sober stranger is that have become my challenges. I feel that during my repeated attempts at sobriety over the last 5 years a lot of groundwork has been laid down, even if I wasn't in a position to accept and act upon what I've been learning. Now, for me, the time is right. Today I can stay away from a drink.
ClearSkies
Posted by TexasChic on September 20, 2005, at 15:56:45
In reply to Re: feeling emotional and sober » ButterflyHigh, posted by ClearSkies on September 20, 2005, at 5:45:49
I'm so happy for you, you're doing so-o-o good! I somehow feel that your success is somehow my own. I guess I just identify so well.
Posted by Sebastian on September 21, 2005, at 18:34:38
In reply to Re: feeling emotional and sober, posted by TexasChic on September 20, 2005, at 15:56:45
Not to sound uncool, but why do you sacrifice all your morals when you drink? I don't, but I drink, just never an alcoholic.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Substance Use | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.