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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by partlycloudy on November 28, 2004, at 7:27:49
I hope everyone survived Turkey day with no injuries. I was ill tempered for most of the time, fueled by staying sober while my visiting in-laws did not. It really upsets me that I became so angry with them, and I know I should have kept quiet.
I'm on my own until Thursday. Being alone, particularly while not working, is a dangerous time for me. It gets really hard to leave the house, and it gets really hard to stay sober.
Yesterday I did get out to the gym and attended an aa meeting. There were a few people who had seen me a week ago in much rougher shape. They made me feel so much better with their encouraging words.
The big hitch for me is the antagonism that's expressed towards psychotherapy and psychotropic medications. Officially I know that aa recognizes these treatments, but practically, the overwhelming opinions expressed so far with my experience is that the meds and therapy make you more ill, and all you need is the program.
I don't blame my depression anxiety and panic on my alcohol abuse - they are coexisting illnesses. Drinking definitely worsens depression, but just stopping drinking does not make the depression go away.
I've been told to listen to it all and take what I need from this program, What this feels like to me is that I'm not free to discuss my problems in their entirety.
Posted by Fred23 on November 28, 2004, at 15:24:28
In reply to Checking in with my friends, posted by partlycloudy on November 28, 2004, at 7:27:49
> The big hitch for me is the antagonism that's expressed towards psychotherapy and psychotropic medications. Officially I know that aa recognizes these treatments, but practically, the overwhelming opinions expressed so far with my experience is that the meds and therapy make you more ill, and all you need is the program.
-snip-
> I've been told to listen to it all and take what I need from this program, What this feels like to me is that I'm not free to discuss my problems in their entirety.As many have mentioned before, AA was formed when there was very little knowledge about the underlying organic reasons for using alcohol as a drug to make the brain feel better.
You might need to find *individuals* to discuss your medical approaches with, and let them be your local support, and a source of practical advice to avoid the trip ups to leading an alcohol-free life.
Since, as many of the messages on the main Babble board attest to, it is hard for doctors to get pysch meds to work correctly, it is not surprising that AA was a wary eye on the medical approach.
Posted by verne on November 28, 2004, at 16:41:46
In reply to Checking in with my friends, posted by partlycloudy on November 28, 2004, at 7:27:49
PC,
That's great you made it out to the gym and AA.
You might want to reconsider sharing your medications and diagnoses with the "hardline" AA crowd. AA worked for me when I went to a smaller, more spiritual, group meeting. No judging and no high horses.
riding low in the saddle
verne
Posted by Colleen D. on November 28, 2004, at 20:08:01
In reply to Checking in with my friends, posted by partlycloudy on November 28, 2004, at 7:27:49
If you can find the right sponsor/mentor/whatever, maybe someone with similar difficulties, it could be of great benefit for you.
Good luck!
Colleen
Posted by partlycloudy on December 2, 2004, at 5:43:39
In reply to Re: Checking in with my friends » partlycloudy, posted by verne on November 28, 2004, at 16:41:46
Hi. I've gone to more meetings, and I'm being ever-so-cautious about what I say to the group apart from speaking directly about my drinking. I don't have a sponsor yet, but even this aspect I am cautious about. I am actively working on the spiritual aspect of the program, in my own way, as I'm not a church goer. (Ahem just read my one and only foray onto the Faith board for that one.)
What is helping me is giving myself the time and not rushing through anything. I exercise, I get enough sleep, I eat right, I take supplements. I read, I sing out loud. I tell my doctor the truth about my drinking and that helps her make the right treatment decision for me.
What I have now is that huge construct that alcohol help build over all these years: a brick of unworthiness, cement of tears, another brick of self criticism, motar of stubborn self pity. This is what therapy helps to tear down. It's not a revelation, it's a process. And I am proceeding.
Posted by saw on December 2, 2004, at 6:25:38
In reply to Still feeling better, posted by partlycloudy on December 2, 2004, at 5:43:39
You continually amaze me.
Posted by antigua on December 2, 2004, at 8:32:07
In reply to Still feeling better, posted by partlycloudy on December 2, 2004, at 5:43:39
Way to go pc. You are an inspiration. I'm glad you're being nice/good to yourself. It's easy for me to skip over my own needs, but naps and exercise are on my priority list right now. I can deal with everyone else better if I take that time. Makes me feel like I'm very lazy and selfish, but I do feel better.
Good luck with your new T.
antigua
Posted by yellowbrickroad on December 29, 2004, at 13:28:49
In reply to Checking in with my friends, posted by partlycloudy on November 28, 2004, at 7:27:49
When I got sober, I ran into much of the same attitude, and it was the main reason I left the program and wouldn't get near it for years without snarling and griping.
Recently, I've tried going back, and I wanted to attend meetings where nobody knew me because I didn't want the awkward conversations about the fact that I had started drinking again.
New meetings, new people. Wow...it has been a real eye opener to see just how different the people and the attitudes can be in the same town at different meetings! There are two women's meetings I really like that are in a part of town known for junkies (D.C. has a heroin problem like few other places, even among the rich kids), and the attitude there is that you do whatever it takes to stay sane and clean because your life is at stake.
I have also figured out that, at the "clubs" that house meetings all day, the quality of the meetings deteriorates as the day goes along. It's worth getting up for the 7 am meetings, which are full of people with jobs, lots of sobriety, and a generally positive outlook. By the time the 8:30 pm meetings roll around, it's full of heavy-preachers and skeezy men looking to score dates with the newcomer girls. Ew. At some meetings people talk about meds and psych problems, at some meetings people talk about that stuff only afterwards, and other meetings are avoided by those who value their therapy. There are also some dual-diagnosis meetings, but I haven't tried those yet.
My best friend (sober 8 1/2 years--I've known her almost that long) asks all her new sponsees if they are at least open to the prospect of therapy (not that it's a requirement).
So, it looks like it's a whole different scene depending on what meetings you can find. It took me years to figure this out, and then I lucked into some good meetings. Since then, I've been more willing to travel around and try the early meetings...and ask any kindred spirits I find what other meetings they recommend and give those a try.
YBR
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