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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by saw on October 5, 2004, at 4:11:16
but still I can't and don't want to stop drinking. Everyday I feel guilty but can't wait to get home so that I can have that calming drink. I can't believe I allowed myself to get this bad. I knew a long time ago that if I continued to drink in the fashion that I did, that one day I would not be able to stop. That one day I would Need it. Now the d@mn stuff controls me. Or does depression control me? Ugh, I just want to be normal.
Very down today
Sabrina
Posted by partlycloudy on October 5, 2004, at 9:42:45
In reply to It's making me miserable, posted by saw on October 5, 2004, at 4:11:16
Sorry for the belated response - our internet provider is NAFF. I know that at a certain point I realized that I was using drinking as a drug. I also knew that if I didn't, I wouldn't be able to function from day to day at that time in my life. I was in an unbearable situation that alcohol made bearable - just. There is something to be said for continuing drinking because it is giving you relief; but we also have to realize that by doing that, we're avoiding getting down and dirty with the issues that are making us so utterly miserable in the first place.
For some people, the decision to quit drinking comes when they have hit rock bottom - lost their job, crashed their car, did something violent while blacked out - and some of us just grazed the bottom now and then but were lucky enough to escape bringing lasting damage to anyone else but ourselves.
And there are people like me - who embrace sobriety, then hit depression and fall into the oh-so-familiar pattern of Needing A Drink. Intellectually, I know that I do not Need a drink. I am conditioned to think that I Need one. I am conditioned to think that if I don't get one down my gullet as soon as I can, I will fall apart hysterically and be chucked into a loony bin. I imagine all sorts of horrors that will happen if I don't get that Drink into me.It is something that all of you know here, I struggle with every day. Today is a "good" day. I can see clearly the benefits of staying away from this substance I have no defense against, and today, I plan not to drink. I can't think about tomorrow. I can't regret what happened last week. There can only be today for me.
((((Sabrina))))
Posted by justyourlaugh on October 5, 2004, at 15:17:07
In reply to Re: It's making me miserable » saw, posted by partlycloudy on October 5, 2004, at 9:42:45
cloudy always has such sound advice..
i am getting drunk as we speak because my mind will not give me any peace today...
i have even ordered more for later to continue the binge..
maybe this is just denile
but i feel to much when i am not drinking..
i am paralized
i am paranoid
i am mad..drinking allows me to function..i do not want anyone to know my habits
i am ashamed evryday that i did not becomei wanted to share
you are not alone..
thats all i can do..
jyl
Posted by Fred23 on October 5, 2004, at 17:46:33
In reply to It's making me miserable, posted by saw on October 5, 2004, at 4:11:16
> but still I can't and don't want to stop drinking. Everyday I feel guilty but can't wait to get home so that I can have that calming drink. I can't believe I allowed myself to get this bad. I knew a long time ago that if I continued to drink in the fashion that I did, that one day I would not be able to stop. That one day I would Need it. Now the d@mn stuff controls me. Or does depression control me? Ugh, I just want to be normal.
As I've mentioned before, I believe that this is your brain crying for proper GABA regulation, which can be done nicely with benzos.
Using alcohol instead of benzos essentially doesn't work. The body gets worn out processing the alcohol, and unlike benzos, can't get stabilized on a constant amount that simply works, day after day.
Elsewhere you've said that your doctor won't prescribe you benzos, but they may be your only hope.
Posted by saw on October 6, 2004, at 0:59:37
In reply to dear saw..., posted by justyourlaugh on October 5, 2004, at 15:17:07
Thank you for sharing.
If it's all you can do - it means a lot.Peace is quite elusive to my mind too.
It is good to know that I am not the only one using this "functioning aid"Look after yourself justyourlaugh
Sabrina
Posted by saw on October 6, 2004, at 1:01:33
In reply to Re: It's making me miserable » saw, posted by Fred23 on October 5, 2004, at 17:46:33
I don't know a whole lot on the clinical workings of depression. Please explain what proper GABA regulation is?
Thanks Fred
Sabrina
Posted by Fred23 on October 6, 2004, at 17:48:35
In reply to Re: It's making me miserable » Fred23, posted by saw on October 6, 2004, at 1:01:33
> I don't know a whole lot on the clinical workings of depression. Please explain what proper GABA regulation is?
What I was referring to was your desire to get home for that calming drink that is now controlling you.
The best expression I've seen about this was the message I Googled into finding this board, at
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010605/msgs/65815.html, where in 2001 "Elizabeth" says:"Alcohol is a lame and toxic substitute for benzos -- if you have adequate doses of benzos, you don't *need* to drink."
The Jan 2004 discovery about alcoholics having a gene that causes GABA misregulation essentially proves the above.
Posted by partlycloudy on October 9, 2004, at 6:20:03
In reply to Re: It's making me miserable » saw, posted by Fred23 on October 5, 2004, at 17:46:33
how about when you doctor announces it's time you weaned off of benzos?
where do you get your gaba-daba-doos then?
Posted by Fred23 on October 9, 2004, at 18:24:15
In reply to Re: It's making me miserable, posted by partlycloudy on October 9, 2004, at 6:20:03
> how about when you doctor announces it's time you weaned off of benzos?
> where do you get your gaba-daba-doos then?There are a lot of discussions about that on these forums, which is why Dr. Bob's is such a valuable resource. I had a thick notebook full of research prepared in case my GP would not prescribe me a benzo when I asked him, but didn't need to use it.
Paradoxically and frustratingly, doctors seem to give benzos to those who don't need them, and not give them to those who do.
We know that a big reason is that the new, modern, SSRI's and the like are pushed by the drug companies. (You never see TV ads for benzos.) And we know that for a large part they are plagued by side effects, and don't have a very high success rate. Even the FDA is essentially admitting they don't work.
Ironically a class that would need benzos the most, alcoholics, are the most likely to be denied them, yet the root cause of alcoholism is GABA mis-regulation, what benzos do well at regulating. (Though some benzos are listed for use in alcohol withdrawal.)
Somehow one has to convince their doctor of the legtimate need for benzos, or find another doctor that will prescribe them.
If someone's brain is starving for proper GABA regulation, no amount of twiddling with serotonin levels via SSRIs is going to help. And you can't correct faulty brain chemistry by talking to it, either.
Posted by Fred23 on October 9, 2004, at 22:04:44
In reply to Re: It's making me miserable, posted by Fred23 on October 9, 2004, at 18:24:15
> > how about when you doctor announces it's time you weaned off of benzos?
> > where do you get your gaba-daba-doos then?
>
> There are a lot of discussions about that on these forums, which is why Dr. Bob's is such a valuable resource.Besides the forums, have you seen the Dr. Bob's Psychopharmacology Tip "Appropriateness of long-term treatment with benzodiazepines" at http://www.dr-bob.org/tips/split/Appropriateness-of-long-te.html?
Posted by partlycloudy on October 10, 2004, at 9:11:20
In reply to Re: It's making me miserable, posted by Fred23 on October 9, 2004, at 18:24:15
I know I am hard wired for addiction. I have been prescribed xanax for panic attacks, a very low dose. I'm currently at .5mg twice a day. My doctor is advising me to wean off them, and at the moment I am stretching the length of time between doses. Even at such a low dose, I can feel the physical pull of the medicine, whereas with booze, I don't actually feel a physical addiction, but rather a spiritual and emotional need for release and oblivion.
Alcohol and benzos might work on the same parts of my brain but my body definitely reacts to them differently.
(Still dry by the way. Had a bit of a breakdown this past week and I was surprised to find that I had absolutely no desire to drink. Or eat for that matter. Or move from the couch.)
pc
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