Posted by partlycloudy on October 5, 2004, at 9:42:45
In reply to It's making me miserable, posted by saw on October 5, 2004, at 4:11:16
Sorry for the belated response - our internet provider is NAFF. I know that at a certain point I realized that I was using drinking as a drug. I also knew that if I didn't, I wouldn't be able to function from day to day at that time in my life. I was in an unbearable situation that alcohol made bearable - just. There is something to be said for continuing drinking because it is giving you relief; but we also have to realize that by doing that, we're avoiding getting down and dirty with the issues that are making us so utterly miserable in the first place.
For some people, the decision to quit drinking comes when they have hit rock bottom - lost their job, crashed their car, did something violent while blacked out - and some of us just grazed the bottom now and then but were lucky enough to escape bringing lasting damage to anyone else but ourselves.
And there are people like me - who embrace sobriety, then hit depression and fall into the oh-so-familiar pattern of Needing A Drink. Intellectually, I know that I do not Need a drink. I am conditioned to think that I Need one. I am conditioned to think that if I don't get one down my gullet as soon as I can, I will fall apart hysterically and be chucked into a loony bin. I imagine all sorts of horrors that will happen if I don't get that Drink into me.It is something that all of you know here, I struggle with every day. Today is a "good" day. I can see clearly the benefits of staying away from this substance I have no defense against, and today, I plan not to drink. I can't think about tomorrow. I can't regret what happened last week. There can only be today for me.
((((Sabrina))))
poster:partlycloudy
thread:399045
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20040722/msgs/399115.html