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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by jealibeanz on November 22, 2006, at 9:34:44
In reply to I know *exactly* what you mean! :-| (nm) » jealibeanz, posted by Caedmon on November 19, 2006, at 14:13:18
Yeah... it's tough to make major personal progress and finally get this far in life, to the point where you think you're actually becoming a responsible/successful/"normal" adult and student. Then, fall flat on your face!
I never thought that my academic abilties would stand in my way. My problems were always blamed on anxiety, but I suppose part of that anxiety has roots in my ADHD.
Chris, I know you mentioned that you suspected some ADHD at one point, did you ever get this dx? Are you actually required to do your TA-ship, internship, plus full grad load simultaneously? It's sounds like you have more flexibility and options than me (haha, since I have noo choices whatsoever beside take the 18 credits the school signs us up for, then, stay and pass, or fail and leave!)
I think about leaving evvvvvvery day. I only have 2 days til Thanksgiving break, and I just wanna quit. I have a retake exam because I failed one and that causes some great stress! Plus the stress of knowing that I have several courses where I have to take a comprehensive final since my grades are poor. And the other finals won't be too easy either.
Right now, my brain seems "short-circuited". It doesn't quite get that study/learning type of focus that I need. Plus, I'm wandering like crazy around my apartment and town, forgetting what I'm doing or creating new useless tasks. God, I need a break and some proper medication!
Do you have any suggestions as to how to approach my doc? I do have a good relationship with him. He's very fatherly, extremely friendly, enthusiastic, caring, and empathetic. He'll listen to every one of my stupid complaints and side effects, when most docs would blow them off, saying it's not common, or that I might as well never try any med again since I'm very sensitive.
However, I just have problems getting the ADHD words out. I don't want to tell him I'm doing poorly. And one of the hardest parts I have about ADHD, especially since I'm an adult, is that it is chronic. I just want to ignore it and pretend it will go away, but it won't! The only thing that gives me a little comfort is that I'm pretty sure he has ADHD (not always very well controlled, but I still trust our relationship enough to go to him), so unless I'm wrong, he doesn't think it's abnormal for problems to only fully manifest when in grad school.
As much as there's been a huge compaign for depression tx, and kids have been treated for ADHD for years, the adult type is still almost not thought to exist by many practitioners. If they are willing to treat, they wanna throw a non-stim at you.
My thought... the reason why more adults are being treated currently is 1) they were treated as children and are continuing 2) increased awareness in mental health 3) many seek treatment after diagnosis of a child 4) the hectic, overachieving expectations of our society are uncovering many ADHD'ers who were able to cope in a more laid back society
(side note: kinda like I hate saying the word depression, and for once that's actually not in the back of my mind... haha during psych class my instructor tells us to ignore all the sleep/mood disorder symtoms... since it's completely normal for us to have irregular sleep, major anxiety, depression (or at least a stressed-out, life sucks, I hate my school/my life/my class mates and I wanna go home type of mimicked depression... so I'm not too worried about that right now).
Posted by Caedmon on November 22, 2006, at 9:34:45
In reply to Re: I know *exactly* what you mean! :-| » Caedmon, posted by jealibeanz on November 19, 2006, at 23:29:47
> Yeah... it's tough to make major personal progress and finally get this far in life, to the point where you think you're actually becoming a responsible/successful/"normal" adult and student. Then, fall flat on your face!>
I would just like some time... some space to make decisions. I feel like I have a million things piled up that I will never get done.
> I never thought that my academic abilties would stand in my way. My problems were always blamed on anxiety, but I suppose part of that anxiety has roots in my ADHD.>
Funny you should mention that. I have always been a cocky student. I slept through undergrad (sometimes literally), and walked out with honors. Then I come here and my first test is a 73 and I have to, *ahem*, "remediate". Something about ASHA certification, blah blah... well, okay.
I'm a good test-taker but I have horrible planning or life skills... and finding it come back and bite my *ss.
> Chris, I know you mentioned that you suspected some ADHD at one point, did you ever get this dx? >
I need to pursue it.
>Are you actually required to do your TA-ship, internship, plus full grad load simultaneously?>
Well, the TAship is so I can afford this frickin' school, which I just barely can as it is. The internship is later. I will actually feel better by then - it's less work to just, you know, work!
I'm definitely stretching out the program so I can take fewer grad credits. 15 is insane. Plus clinic. That is not for human beings. Sometimes I look at other grad students, with their measley 8 credits, and I think to myself, "Cheater! Cheater! That's not a Master's degree! It's just College II: The Uninspired Sequel! Take twice the classes and have a clinic supervisor tell you everything you did wrong 5 times a day, and try that on for size, beotch!" (Then I start drinking.)
Well, okay, i don't do all that. But I do feel frustration.
> I think about leaving evvvvvvery day.>
Yes, me too. Every day. I hate those thoughts but they don't leave me. I am so afraid that I am unfit for this.
> Do you have any suggestions as to how to approach my doc?>
Yes. Bribery. :P
Sorry, actually, I don't. I do recommend getting in touch w/ the disabilities center at your school. This is on my to-do list. If I ever get to it.
- Chris
Posted by jealibeanz on November 22, 2006, at 9:34:45
In reply to Re: I know *exactly* what you mean! :-| » jealibeanz, posted by Caedmon on November 20, 2006, at 0:10:42
> I would just like some time... some space to make decisions. I feel like I have a million things piled up that I will never get done.
That's classic!
> Funny you should mention that. I have always been a cocky student. I slept through undergrad (sometimes literally), and walked out with honors. Then I come here and my first test is a 73 and I have to, *ahem*, "remediate". Something about ASHA certification, blah blah... well, okay.
> I'm a good test-taker but I have horrible planning or life skills... and finding it come back and bite my *ss.I basically slept through undergrad too. I did no work. I didn't understand some things, but I too am an amazingly good test taker, in class and standardized.
> Well, the TAship is so I can afford this frickin' school, which I just barely can as it is. The internship is later. I will actually feel better by then - it's less work to just, you know, work!
>
> I'm definitely stretching out the program so I can take fewer grad credits. 15 is insane. Plus clinic. That is not for human beings. Sometimes I look at other grad students, with their measley 8 credits, and I think to myself, "Cheater! Cheater! That's not a Master's degree! It's just College II: The Uninspired Sequel! Take twice the classes and have a clinic supervisor tell you everything you did wrong 5 times a day, and try that on for size, beotch!" (Then I start drinking.)
>
You could take out a little more loan money. It's worth it in the end. You'll save your sanity, have a positive academic and clinic experience since you'll be less stressed, and will be less likely to need to repeat a course. In the end this may save you money, but most importantly, your happiness. BTW, the norm is 15 grad credits? Now, I realize my program/profession is insannnnnnnne and just wants to cram everything into on year, thus doubling the normal course load a a regular grad program, but most school consider 9 grad credits full-time (because the courses are harder and most students either work or do internships as well).
>>
> > Do you have any suggestions as to how to approach my doc?>
>
> Yes. Bribery. :P
>
> Sorry, actually, I don't. I do recommend getting in touch w/ the disabilities center at your school. This is on my to-do list. If I ever get to it.
>
Haha, that's OK, not need to bribe my doc for meds. I have been on Strattera and Adderall before, so he's aware of my ADHD, but most likely considers it very mild, so it's just not discussed. He wasn't concerned when I stopped Strattera in the summer. If he thought I had major ADHD related impairment, he would have tried to discourage me or find an alternate med. Thus far, I've never indicated academic problems, and was able to get accepted, so he thinks I'm fine with school.He likes to work with me. He's very open to suggestions and isn't afraid of controlled substances (at least with me). Actually a few months ago he was ready to push Concerta because I was sleeping 18 hours/day, but I suggested Provigil due to past experience, so he went with that. So, I just need to find the courage to tell him. I shouldn't worry though. I always obsess over these things, and my appointments go very smoothly, almost better than planned, because I have a lot of input/freedom. We also love to chat, so we have fun together aside from my treatment/plan.
As far as approaching my school's resource center goes, I'll do that if need be. If my program needs to reschedule a final or give me a little extra time so I can adjust to meds and properly study, they'd have to get documentation to submit to their higher-ups.
I'll probably go back to my professor/advisor and tell her I'm slightly worried/scared/ashamed about mentioning this to my doc, and having second thoughts about going (even though she knows I have a great relationship with him and am not willing to see anyone else). I guess it's hard to tell the one's who care about you and are close to that you're struggling. I could easily blurt it out to a strange doc, but then would get distrustful treatment, not input, and prob no meds at first!
She's going to want to know whether I was able to get an appointment during break, or if I'll be missing class, so she may (hopefully! eek!) even approach me. I don't have a problem going to her though, at this point, my classmates and I are just soo open about our health problems, and commonly share them with the class as learning tools, and comfortable with treated our own bodies as objects, we're like walking open-wounds... no secrets here. (haha... I was about to volunteer to show the class my scar from a chest tube I'd had inserted, so they'd know where it's placed. As a female, that's ummm not exactly modest behavior due to the location!)
Posted by lymom3 on November 22, 2006, at 9:34:45
In reply to Re: I know *exactly* what you mean! :-| » Caedmon, posted by jealibeanz on November 19, 2006, at 23:29:47
Your doc wouldn't want you to suffer and agonize as much as you are about telling him. Maybe you could print from this and other threads so he knows the depth of your problem. Give him that to look at.
Anxiety is a nasty partner of ADHD. It is hard to be disorganized, to try to find your car keys when you need to leave NOW because you waited until the last minute...you know how it goes.
Posted by jealibeanz on November 22, 2006, at 9:34:45
In reply to Re: I know *exactly* what you mean! :-|, posted by lymom3 on November 20, 2006, at 6:39:47
Yup, yup... and it's exacerbated when you're at school for 10-12 hours a day with only an hour break! Then you should study when you get home! When nothing is organized, annnd your ADHD impairs your studying ability, you're left with no time and no knowledge!
This is the end of the thread.
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