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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Fivefires on September 12, 2007, at 23:40:32
I miss sig-other sooooooooo dang much it's making me ill. Maybe I don't have the flu at all. Maybe no mail from sig-other in mailbox (The order of pro*ection allowed him to write letters to me) is what is upsetting me. I thought he'd never leave me. I told him I'd likely push him away and to try not to let me do this, but well at first he had no choice, but is he not writing because he is done w/ me, angry, stoned, or dead? His fam' sticks closely w/ him so they'd prob' not even tell me if he were hurt. They don't seem to care for me, I mean how I am.
My only support person does care. She understands the awful feelings I'm having and has never even experienced them.
I want to 'FEEL NOTHING' so badly.
Will you who pray pls pray a new man w/ the qualities I need to see, to love, finds his way to me. I am not 'a lucky person'; one whom can replace another quickly, if that is a sign of luck.
How long is normal(?) to get over 13 years I wonder?
tks, 5f
Posted by ClearSkies on September 13, 2007, at 7:48:02
In reply to Heartache in mind and soul :(, posted by Fivefires on September 12, 2007, at 23:40:32
>
>
> How long is normal(?) to get over 13 years I wonder?
>
> tks, 5f
>I don't think it's matter of getting over someone after such a long relationship. There's a period of grieving, that's different for each of us, that we have to go through. And it's hard to feel the void in our heart that's left without wanting desperately for someone else to fill it, but please give yourself time to heal. Maybe do some reading about the grief process (I can't think of anything immediately but can look up some stuff if you want.), or do some journaling about it.
Or write about your loss here. I think of babble as my diary, sometimes. (Not necessarily expecting a reply or The Answer to my prayers, but just a place to put my thoughts, to get them out of my head.) And for me, sometimes the writing itself is part of the process.
I'm not a night owl at all, any more. I take my Remeron and I sleep very quickly, so I'm off the boards when you're here. But we can leave notes for each other here...
Just for today, Fivefires, remind yourself that there are people here who care about you.
ClearSkies
Posted by Fivefires on September 13, 2007, at 15:45:07
In reply to Re: Heartache in mind and soul :( » Fivefires, posted by ClearSkies on September 13, 2007, at 7:48:02
Tks CS!! I will remind myself of this right now and try to keep the thought.
I couldn't put him in 'the grief stack' because my family all disliked him so much!
It occurs to me this is a big part of my problem.
They're all so happy that he is gone. One or two even ask/say 'how could you miss someone like that?' ya' know?
But, you're right CS, it is like grief. I was letting their feelings about him intimidate me from having my own real feelings.
I know grief. I've been doing this w/ my father since '04. This is more of it.
I will think of it this way.
It's mine and I'm entitled to it.
It was right in front of my face but I didn't have anyone who really put it to me this way, especially IRL.
Thank you so much for pointing this out to me!!
I'm sorta' relieved, and I'm very thankful to have found a little space in this vortex years ago.
sincerely, 5f
Posted by ClearSkies on September 13, 2007, at 16:14:29
In reply to Re: Heartache in mind and soul :(, posted by Fivefires on September 13, 2007, at 15:45:07
Posted by Phillipa on September 13, 2007, at 22:41:28
In reply to Re: Heartache in mind and soul :(, posted by Fivefires on September 13, 2007, at 15:45:07
FF how bout the grief board or writing board? Phillipa
Posted by Fivefires on September 18, 2007, at 12:08:59
In reply to Re: Heartache in mind and soul :( » Fivefires, posted by Phillipa on September 13, 2007, at 22:41:28
Hey Phillipa. Writing board might be interesting. But, as u may be able to tell, I'm not following up my current threads as timely as should be. Don't know how u do it lady!
And, yeah, it's been easier in looking at in terms of grief.
A guy came up to me the other day. (He looked out of place, or like someone I knew but didn't, or it was a dejavu sort of thing.) He told me to point my finger at his finger. I did and he said 'Ohhh .. I can feel a lot of negativity! Great, I thought. I'm not out to get anybody. Really, I'm not. (Good grief, I disdain thinking I come off as this sort of person.) I'll certainly not find another w/ such a trait.
Oh rubbish w/ him anyway!
I've been doing the oddest things to keep myself from thinking about my heartache. Spending $ I shouldn't. Getting my resume all fancied up in anticipation of PTwork. Just sort of 'hiding beneath a pile of tangible normal stuff' so as not to touch those feelings, I think.
Sorry been offline so long.
GoingTakeBackShopping, 5f
Posted by Kath on September 25, 2007, at 20:27:52
In reply to Re: Heartache in mind and soul :(, posted by Fivefires on September 18, 2007, at 12:08:59
Hope you're feeling better.
Sometimes we can only touch a little of our grief at a time, I think.
If that's the case, I think a part of us knows when to back off & shop!!! LOL or whatever we do to NOT feel as intensely.
(((((((((((((((((((you)))))))))))))))
from someone who has also suffered the agony of losing someone who wasn't good for me, but who I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO attached to. As it turns out - attached in a very unhealthy way. I didn't even know who I was! I was 'his wife'. It was him caring about me that made me feel worthwhile. I had NO self esteem!!!!BOY was that in the past!
I know how it can hurt!
Hug yourself & say LOUDLY (even if you don't believe it) I AM TERRIFIC !!!!
My friend at the time told me to do this. She said do it looking into the mirror! I couldn't bring myself to do THAT. But I did the loud utterace & guess what. If you do it over & over every day, it does do something. Even thinking about it feels sorta cool now.
So: " I am ter RIF fic!!!!!" Many times - LOUDLY
Let me know how it feels.
hugs, Kath
Posted by Fivefires on September 25, 2007, at 22:03:24
In reply to Re: Heartache in mind and soul :( » Fivefires, posted by Kath on September 25, 2007, at 20:27:52
I gotta' say you hit the head on the nail w/ SHOP! I just had a full bag of 'take-backs' to return last eve'!!!
I'm a little on the exhausted side Kath. Tks for being here for me still as I'm sort of on the fence about this issue, and I think I deliberately stand to the left or right of what is real so as not to face it yet, or maybe ever.
Will respond more when brain returns to some normal functioning. (Been in the house too long. Too much on my mind tonight as well. Met this guy and now he won't go away. Why do I do this?)
omeomyo, 5f
Posted by Kath on October 1, 2007, at 17:28:55
In reply to Re: Heartache in mind and soul :(, posted by Fivefires on September 25, 2007, at 22:03:24
met this guy online or in real life?
Kath
Posted by Fivefires on October 1, 2007, at 18:07:07
In reply to Re: Heartache in mind and soul :( » Fivefires, posted by Kath on October 1, 2007, at 17:28:55
IRL Kath.
5f
This is the end of the thread.
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