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Heartache in mind and soul :(

Posted by Fivefires on September 12, 2007, at 23:40:32

I miss sig-other sooooooooo dang much it's making me ill. Maybe I don't have the flu at all. Maybe no mail from sig-other in mailbox (The order of pro*ection allowed him to write letters to me) is what is upsetting me. I thought he'd never leave me. I told him I'd likely push him away and to try not to let me do this, but well at first he had no choice, but is he not writing because he is done w/ me, angry, stoned, or dead? His fam' sticks closely w/ him so they'd prob' not even tell me if he were hurt. They don't seem to care for me, I mean how I am.

My only support person does care. She understands the awful feelings I'm having and has never even experienced them.

I want to 'FEEL NOTHING' so badly.

Will you who pray pls pray a new man w/ the qualities I need to see, to love, finds his way to me. I am not 'a lucky person'; one whom can replace another quickly, if that is a sign of luck.

How long is normal(?) to get over 13 years I wonder?

tks, 5f


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poster:Fivefires thread:782585
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070827/msgs/782585.html