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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 11 to 35 of 85. Go back in thread:
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 5, 2006, at 2:00:11
In reply to Re: Should i join the Army or Marnies to get out?, posted by psychobot5000 on October 3, 2006, at 23:28:25
> but you are also ... joining a community that believes in rigid control.
Like this one? :-)
Bob
Posted by Poet on October 5, 2006, at 11:43:02
In reply to Should i join the Army or Marnies to get out?, posted by Rjlockhart on October 2, 2006, at 18:49:29
Hi Matt,
I'm putting myself in your place and this is what I would do. I would go to school part time and work fulltime somewhere with benefits so I had my own insurance. Hopefully I would save up enough money that I could move out even if I had to have two roomates to accomplish it.
The military is not for me at all, so I can only tell you what I would do. Hope I helped a little bit.
Poet
Posted by corafree on October 5, 2006, at 12:27:34
In reply to Should i join the Army or Marnies to get out?, posted by Rjlockhart on October 2, 2006, at 18:49:29
U could take me home w/ you and "I KNOW", 'I' would come between U2. (Actually might be safer to ship out.)
Better yet, I pick Poet's answer.
don'tjointhemarnies, cf
Posted by rjlockhart on October 7, 2006, at 0:10:32
In reply to Re: Should i join the Army or Marnies to get out? » Rjlockhart, posted by corafree on October 5, 2006, at 12:27:34
OK,
If i join, now reconsidering but, yes if i sign that paper, im in there is no going back. That is really going to but a fire on me. I could be thinking 3 years already in the miltary that i could of done something else.... with an 8 year contract.
I could have buddies to make friends with to improve my self but still, intense psychial stress, mental, but they could be there with me.
What am i looking for? a purpose. Should i go to the army? Am i looking for something that i more complex control which is the same that is at home.
Posted by laima on October 7, 2006, at 1:09:59
In reply to Re: Should i join the Army or Marnies to get out?, posted by rjlockhart on October 7, 2006, at 0:10:32
Matt,DONT SIGN ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you actually end up in a recruriting office, say "I want to take this home to look it over and think about it". They'll surely pressure you, but that will be a test of strength.
If you sign, that's no joke. You're stuck. And you are too young and sensitive for that. Why not give yourself a compromise, such as, "Ok- I'll try to live on a college campus for a year, and if it sucks, I'll reconsider". Can you do that? Make it less impulsive, less drastic? Getting ADD meds seems like a dubious reason to join the military. Do you want to risk losing limbs or being tortured for that?? Find some people who have returned from Iraq, Afganistan, etc, and talk to them about their experiences as much as possible? Don't forget the possibility of Iran, please?
We on the board are very fond of you and want the best for you. I think I can assert that fairly confidently. Be well, Matt, and be good to yourself. Even if in the future you are sure the military is right for you, I bet anything you'd be a better, stronger, far more capable soldier when your mental health is in order and more stable. I think you'd also feel better and more confident about it for doing such extensive research.
Best wishes,
Laima
Posted by Phillipa on October 7, 2006, at 19:22:32
In reply to Re: Should i join the Army or Marnies to get out? » rjlockhart, posted by laima on October 7, 2006, at 1:09:59
Matt read your other thread on joining. Love Phillipa
Posted by Lindenblüte on October 8, 2006, at 13:40:18
In reply to Should i join the Army or Marnies to get out?, posted by Rjlockhart on October 2, 2006, at 18:49:29
Join the Coast Guard. You won't have to go overseas. You won't have to hurt people. You can save lives instead. And, you get to live near the ocean (or at least the lake!)
just know that the recruiters do a thorough tox screen and take a psych. history. Be prepared to either lie OR deny your mental health history.
best to you
Li
(why not just move out far away and get a job somewhere else that doesn't require a contract? Do you really want Pres. Bush to be your boss?)
Posted by Karen44 on October 8, 2006, at 13:40:19
In reply to Re: Should i join the Army or Marnies to get out? » Rjlockhart, posted by Lindenblüte on October 5, 2006, at 21:17:38
I am sorry to say, but you probably won't be able to join the military; It is not likely they will take you given that you are seeing a psychiatrist and are apparently taking psychotropic medications. I am sorry, but that is the truth of the matter.
From an ex-Marine
Karen44
Posted by Rjlockhart on October 8, 2006, at 13:43:18
I go see my doctor by myself with out my mother, I dont know what to do, if she finds out im on Dexedrine she will go crazy.
I need to get out of this enviorment. Live on my own. I dont know if, the marines are the awnser. Mainly i would i get killed. The air force is still in mind....
But i, i cant take the stress load of having a full time job and going to school, mainly because i have trouble focusing, keeping up, the quality of life would change if i went full time, i would be, i just would go crazy. Thats the other option and getting insurance and moving out, by myself immidately learning how to be independent. It's really a wreck.
I am about to go talk to a social worker. And see what i can do. Becuase i am 19 and i am consiered and adult. I am trapped in between a confort zone, which is home, i dont know if i should move out. This is ALL over medication. My mother is not going to change, there is no way i can convice her to change her mind. She will not treat me for ADD.
Am i taking this to extreme? the army would well lets say i would be supporting my country but everything would turn to turmoil. Iraq....
I dont know which is worse.I cant really stand up to her, because my stepdad backs me off and lets her do the bitching.
Well, i think its time for me to live on my own. But i dont know im in a pre-life crisis.
Someone help. And should i join the military?
Matt
Posted by Phillipa on October 8, 2006, at 13:43:19
In reply to The day is counting down...., posted by Rjlockhart on October 2, 2006, at 20:33:05
No!!!!!!!!!!I love you Matt. love Phillipa
Posted by yxibow on October 8, 2006, at 13:43:19
In reply to The day is counting down...., posted by Rjlockhart on October 2, 2006, at 20:33:05
Double no, and it isn't just political. See above.
Posted by lymom3 on October 8, 2006, at 13:45:11
In reply to Re: The day is counting down.... » Rjlockhart, posted by yxibow on October 3, 2006, at 1:01:44
I hate to break your bubble but with your psychiatric history, the military won't take you. Feel free to try it, but I have an 18 year old who is ADHD and we researched it and discarded it.
Below are the guidelines...judge for yourself based on your situation.
ADD/ADHD
ADD/ADHD is disqualifying if the applicant has been treated with ADD/ADHD medication within the previous year and/or they display signs of ADD/ADHD. For applicants with a previous history of ADD/ADHD who have been off medication for more than one year, and they do no demonstrate significant impulsivity or inattention during MEPS processing, the MEPS examining official may find them qualified for military service without submission of a waiver.Records review is still required. Any history of being evaluated or treated for ADD/ADHD must be documented. As a minimum, all treatment (if any) within the previous three years must be submitted to MEPS, in advance, as part of the medical pre-screening. Full medical records are required if the applicant was ever treated for ADD or ADHD with any medication other than Ritalin, Adderal, or Dexedrine, or if there were any additional psychiatric symptoms, such as, but not limited to, depression.
Posted by mike lynch on October 8, 2006, at 13:45:12
In reply to Re: The day is counting down...., posted by lymom3 on October 3, 2006, at 7:24:25
Seriously, the recruiters around here are crazy, and will go through any lengths to manipulate you into going. The recruiters wouldn't stop calling me, and even when I said I was ineligable due to ssri's, he said he'd take care of it and blah ,blah, if they're desperate enough they'll take u
Posted by Rjlockhart on October 8, 2006, at 13:45:12
In reply to Re: The day is counting down...., posted by lymom3 on October 3, 2006, at 7:24:25
How did you get this information, i was called about a year ago from an army recuriter and i told him i was on Dexedrine, he said "oh so you have something to keep you going" He percisted to call. I eventually gave up, going my own way.
I dont know how, i may email the air force website and ask if medication is possible for this situation such as in training for the classes to keep up to pay attention. But i dont know still what i am going to do. I may just get a full time job like I said and go crazy, and then get stable after a couple of months, what im saying right now i feel im in my confort zone at home, but at the same time my mother can be very sweet, then just turn and go NUTS. Why would i post something like this if there was nothing happening and everything was fine. Very controlling, she was addicted to diet pills, she see's herself in me, she doesnt want me on stimulants. I cant do anything, without having an arguement, CANNOT see the psychiatrist by myself, i have to go by myself without her. Its a very rough time right now, i dont know what im goning to do.
But thank for your advice on this.
Matt
Posted by Phillipa on October 8, 2006, at 13:45:13
In reply to Re: The day is counting down....Lymom3, posted by Rjlockhart on October 3, 2006, at 16:16:03
Maybe it's not you Matt maybe it's her and she's the one who needs to go to a pdoc or therapist or what about those hormones? Love Phillipa
Posted by rjlockhart on October 8, 2006, at 13:45:13
In reply to Re: The day is counting down....Lymom3, posted by Rjlockhart on October 3, 2006, at 16:16:03
First of all I have thought about asking about getting prescribed Prescription Testosterone. To be more, feel dominant, because my mom is very unstable at times and feels she has to control the situation, she has taken care of my speeding tickets, my court for the wreck.....im giving her credit for that, she does go out of her way for me.......sometimes. But im telling you she will say a big fat "no" to dexedrine, if she finds out im taking it with out her knowlage she will go nuts, its her that doesnt want me to be on stimulants, she thinks im Bi Poler and it will trigger and manic episode, which it did not,
but as i said i abused it some in the past but she overreacted, i cannot focus hardly at all in class, i feel helpless, on the wrong page, have no clue on what is happening... well that is putting it mild.
Im taking deep breath. The miltary could be something i could do, i talked today at work about it, they said the marines would tear my *ss up, i would not be matt anymore. Im reconidering about this, the air force maybe...... but still alot of stress, and a whole new envorment, new attitude, i dont know if they would prescribe medication if i was having a very hard time focusing as i am in class right now.
Anyways, phillipa im still going to email the air force.
Thanks for the advice.
Posted by yxibow on October 8, 2006, at 13:45:14
In reply to Re: The day is counting down....Lymom3, posted by rjlockhart on October 3, 2006, at 22:45:28
> First of all I have thought about asking about getting prescribed Prescription Testosterone. To be more, feel dominant, because my mom is very unstable at times and feels she has to control the situation, she has taken care of my speeding tickets, my court for the wreck.....im giving her credit for that, she does go out of her way for me.......sometimes.
No sane doctor is going to prescribe you testosterone unless you were a woman considering a sex change. Please, I'm not trying to be rude, but come back to earth with us. I know you're hurting and trying to figure a way out, but brash ideas will have brash consequences.
But im telling you she will say a big fat "no" to dexedrine, if she finds out im taking it with out her knowlage she will go nuts, its her that doesnt want me to be on stimulants, she thinks im Bi Poler and it will trigger and manic episode, which it did not,
>
> but as i said i abused it some in the past but she overreacted, i cannot focus hardly at all in class, i feel helpless, on the wrong page, have no clue on what is happening... well that is putting it mild.
>
> Im taking deep breath. The miltary could be something i could do, i talked today at work about it, they said the marines would tear my *ss up, i would not be matt anymore. Im reconidering about this, the air force maybe...... but still alot of stress, and a whole new envorment, new attitude, i dont know if they would prescribe medication if i was having a very hard time focusing as i am in class right now.
>
> Anyways, phillipa im still going to email the air force.It sounds like at the same time as you cannot stand your mother micromanaging your life, you want a higher authority to do the same -- namely the government and the military. Why choose this over other more productive, life changing plans that don't have a chance of maiming or getting yourself killed? It sounds, and I'll get slapped because this is seemingly political, but I do support our troops regardless of the political climate because they're human beings in harms way, that you're almost trying to commit suicide by proxy. Don't do it, please.
Posted by mike lynch on October 8, 2006, at 13:45:14
In reply to Re: The day is counting down....Lymom3 » rjlockhart, posted by yxibow on October 4, 2006, at 1:27:10
My memory isn't that reliable, that's why I haven't spoken out about this, but if I remember correctly aren't you the user that seemed to become delusional on stimulants, and posted like every other day because of his or her problems with them. If this is true, it seems your moms concerns maybe warranted, she knows more then us, and probably the doctor. Im not sure your the right person, but I think you use to post an awful lot about adderall ?? and what it did to you or something im not sure. there's to names in my head ones mm.. something and rj something
Posted by Phillipa on October 8, 2006, at 13:45:15
In reply to ok im confused » yxibow, posted by mike lynch on October 4, 2006, at 14:56:08
Mike yup it's Matt. Love Phillipa ps Matt are you sure you're not bipolar? You always post about getting manic at night?
Posted by Racer on October 8, 2006, at 13:45:15
In reply to Re: The day is counting down....Lymom3 » rjlockhart, posted by yxibow on October 4, 2006, at 1:27:10
> > First of all I have thought about asking about getting prescribed Prescription Testosterone. To be more, feel dominant,
>
> No sane doctor is going to prescribe you testosterone unless you were a woman considering a sex change. Please, I'm not trying to be rude, but come back to earth with us. I know you're hurting and trying to figure a way out, but brash ideas will have brash consequences.Good advice. What I really like about it, though, was that you validated the pain Matt's in right now. That's nice.
>
>
>
> It sounds, and I'll get slapped because this is seemingly political, but I do support our troops regardless of the political climate because they're human beings in harms way, that you're almost trying to commit suicide by proxy. Don't do it, please.And this part is so heart-wrenching. Yeh, it's political, but I get so upset when I hear people say that being against the war is being unsupportive to the troops. I remember Viet Nam too well, and we've learned a lot since then. The people against the war now do, for the most part, support the troops. Bringing them home, safely -- or at least alive -- would be supportive, now, wouldn't it?
So, I guess my slap was more of a pat on the shoulder, huh?
Posted by Racer on October 8, 2006, at 13:45:15
In reply to Re: The day is counting down....Lymom3, posted by rjlockhart on October 3, 2006, at 22:45:28
> But im telling you she will say a big fat "no" to dexedrine, if she finds out im taking it with out her knowlage she will go nuts, its her that doesnt want me to be on stimulants, she thinks im Bi Poler and it will trigger and manic episode, which it did not,
>
>Matt, take a deep breath, here, OK? You don't make life altering decisions like this overnight, so you don't have to join up today.
Didn't you say you were going to see your pdoc alone? What happened with that? Have you changed your mind?
I strongly recommend that you rescind your waiver allowing your mother to be part of your health care. Period. I also strongly urge you to discuss these things with your doctor when you see him alone. Let him know that you're struggling so much, and that you're sure your mother will "go nuts" if you start taking Dexedrine again. TELL HIM, and ASK HIM for help dealing with it. That's part of his job. You can even ask him to tell your mother that it's his medical opinion that:
A) You need to see him alone, in order for him to get a more accurate picture of your progress, and
B) that you need to be on an ADHD medication.
But Matt? You don't need testosterone. That's something you'd only need if your little dangly guys stopped doing their job. And you certainly don't need the military.
You need to work with a good therapist, and you need to find a way to work out your relationship with your mother.
Good luck with all of this.
Posted by Phillipa on October 8, 2006, at 13:45:16
In reply to And I'm confused by something else... » rjlockhart, posted by Racer on October 4, 2006, at 22:31:19
Good post Racer. Matt listen to her. Love Phillipa
Posted by rjlockhart on October 8, 2006, at 13:45:16
In reply to Re: And I'm confused by something else... » Racer, posted by Phillipa on October 4, 2006, at 23:17:48
Ok, racer. Its not that. Im really taking this in to consideration. I am going to do it, but the plan is it can only be done over a period of time.
I will i have to be on it, with out her knowlage and will, it really can be ugly when she finds out that i have now said she cannot go into the session with her.
She controls my meds, she thinks i cant take them responsibly, I can get my own insurace at my work, but she will then do even more outrages things such as take the keys away and maybe say you not going to work, now that is when i would join the military.
I rather be killed than to be trapped in this situation like this where i would be in absolute control. I would rather be in control of the government than her.
The military would tear my *ss off, but i just stumped here. I wished, well i can work with some people at work to help me get out, i can tell the managers that i need to work full time, GET OUT, and then be on my own. Thats going to be a big time turn.
This is all over some very stupid, an ADHD medication. But am i making such a big deal out of this? is because i cant, it, when i read, even type posts i feel impaired, i have to go walk around the house, drink some water. I cant focus very well at all. Miss the point of what the class is saying.
Maybe this is a good time to get out of my comfort zone, which actually is hindering me from growing.
But there going to be alot of turmoil, conflict, and distress when this happens. So i dont know when i need do this.
My mom is sweet but she still thinks its 1993 im a kid.
Jesus help me.
Matt
Posted by Karen44 on October 8, 2006, at 13:45:17
In reply to Re: And I'm confused by something else..., posted by rjlockhart on October 6, 2006, at 23:43:28
> Ok, racer. Its not that. Im really taking this in to consideration. I am going to do it, but the plan is it can only be done over a period of time.
>
> I will i have to be on it, with out her knowlage and will, it really can be ugly when she finds out that i have now said she cannot go into the session with her.
>
> She controls my meds, she thinks i cant take them responsibly, I can get my own insurace at my work, but she will then do even more outrages things such as take the keys away and maybe say you not going to work, now that is when i would join the military.
>
> I rather be killed than to be trapped in this situation like this where i would be in absolute control. I would rather be in control of the government than her.
>
> The military would tear my *ss off, but i just stumped here. I wished, well i can work with some people at work to help me get out, i can tell the managers that i need to work full time, GET OUT, and then be on my own. Thats going to be a big time turn.
>
> This is all over some very stupid, an ADHD medication. But am i making such a big deal out of this? is because i cant, it, when i read, even type posts i feel impaired, i have to go walk around the house, drink some water. I cant focus very well at all. Miss the point of what the class is saying.
>
> Maybe this is a good time to get out of my comfort zone, which actually is hindering me from growing.
>
> But there going to be alot of turmoil, conflict, and distress when this happens. So i dont know when i need do this.
>
> My mom is sweet but she still thinks its 1993 im a kid.
>
> Jesus help me.
>
> MattHopefully, your doctor can help you with how to manage life better and so that you feel competent and capable. Second, as I indicated in the other thread, the military is not going to take you given that you take psychotropic medications. They are not interested in having someone who may want to go to war and doesn't care if he is killed as it endangers the lives of the other men and women. I think you need a new plan of action to deal with your situation with your mother and hopefully your doctor can help in this regard.
Karen44 and ex-Marine
Posted by laima on October 8, 2006, at 13:45:17
In reply to Re: And I'm confused by something else..., posted by rjlockhart on October 6, 2006, at 23:43:28
Matt, I hear the military is no joke. It's very serious, very dangerous, and I understand can be very traumatic-to say the least. I only hear this second and third hand or farther-or via media- but I just don't want you to do it. Sounds like a lot of people here care for you very much and don't want you to do it, either. In case of need to escape your situation, can you go to a college town and set yourself up until you can eventually enroll in a few classes to learn a trade or become a scholar even? (And did you know you have a way with words?) That might be a better option. The living is cheap, and you'd meet plenty of other people your own age, and many from troubled family backgrounds. You would likely find some great new friends with whom you'd have much in common. Lots of kids looking for roomates- all cheap! It could be really fun. You may be quite surprised, as I myself was once I got to college. Not all young people in college towns are enrolled in college yet either, if that is a concern of yours. Many gravitate there for the same sorts of reasons you describe. You are in Texas? Have you considered checking out Austin, or some of the other towns? Maybe someone else here on the board knows Texas better than I do and might have an idea to toss in? It's not like you couldn't join the military later if you still felt it the right thing to do. Just please dont rush!!!!!! If you do it, be prepared, calm, and resolved. NOT rushed or out of desperation. PLEASE. Don't find yourself in combat, or maimed, or terrified- and wonder what you did this for, how you got there. Angrier than ever at your mom. Don't come home missing limbs, beating yourself up for being impulsive. That can happen, you know it can. Now THAT would be a tragedy. Military recruiters, I understand, are specially trained in persuasive tactics to get enough people to sign up to meet their quotas. They have a reputation of preying on the desperate. You have a lot of stress. And you are a sensitive person. Anyone would be stressed in your situation. I hear you asking for advice- don't ask the recruiter for advice, PLEASE. YOU ARE NOT SHARING AN AGENDA. This might not be the time to mess with them, the recruiters. Matt, by all accounts the wars are becoming very dangerous and hellacious, and may even be escalating. Men and women who go there in *perfect* health suffer meltdowns and worse. Please, reconsider. As Colbert darkly joked, "those wars aren't going anywhere- they'll still be there later and there might even be some new ones." If I've said anything inappropriate in this post and get banned forever, it's still worth it to me to just beg you to reconsider this notion of joining the military. Please be well, and let's brainstorm some alternatives for you. That Coastguard idea seems like a decent alternative-a good idea- but I still wonder if it might not be good for you to first take a year or two of chilling out, on your own, without your mom, surrounded by your peers. Even if it's delivering pizzas- just to take the time on your own to get to know yourself as an independent adult. If you worry over health insurance-did you know Starbucks gives FULL health insurance to anyone who works just 20 hours per week? I'm sure they are no longer the only ones. Get the dex, stabilize. I'm not talking fantasy, my life was no piece of cake at your age either. I scoffed snarlily at people who were a little bit older and told me it would get much better and clearer as I became more independent and relaxed, but I see now they were right. No, I'm still hardly perfect, but in general, life has improved enormously and I know myself much better now- and so can you. I think history may repeat itself. Be well, Matt.
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