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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by ClearSkies on March 15, 2006, at 7:48:36
I'm not depressed. I'm not anxious. I have some energy, although haven't figured out a direction to point it in. I haven't cried for 4 days, a record for me these past several years (!).
I'm so distrustful of this feeling. It's a bit like hypomania, except I'm not angry - I'm always angry while hypomanic. While I'm not at peace, I don't feel like I'm trying to battle myself into happiness or a sense of calm. It's just there, where I am, right now.
It's very strange. I like it. There's much less preoccupation with how I'm feeling and that is a real freedom.
cautiously,
ClearSkies
Posted by stickywicket on March 15, 2006, at 8:58:54
In reply to Is this feeling normal?, posted by ClearSkies on March 15, 2006, at 7:48:36
> I'm so distrustful of this feeling.
Boy, do I know what you mean. When I feel what I think is normal, I can't help but wonder what did I do right, how long will it last, etc, etc.? When I'm hypomanic, it's often the good kind these days; but then I worry when it'll switch to depression.
I hope you continue to feel stable, ClearSkies.
Posted by AuntieMel on March 15, 2006, at 10:17:49
In reply to Is this feeling normal?, posted by ClearSkies on March 15, 2006, at 7:48:36
Who cares if it's normal?
If you are liking it, just go with it. Enjoy it and maybe it will become *your* normal.
Posted by sabrina0805 on March 15, 2006, at 12:31:16
In reply to Is this feeling normal?, posted by ClearSkies on March 15, 2006, at 7:48:36
I have been at this place for quite some months now. I have some wonderful days and I drop deeply on others. Yet I remain sort of steady. Sort of. After all this time, I cannot trust the way I feel or why! I should be happy but it does not seem to make sense.
You said, "It's just there, where I am right now", and that seems to sum it up entirely!
You went through so much to get to where you are now - you deserve it! Don't feel afraid of the freedom, that almost got me!
Love to you
Sabrina
Posted by Phillipa on March 15, 2006, at 13:29:25
In reply to Re: Is this feeling normal? » ClearSkies, posted by sabrina0805 on March 15, 2006, at 12:31:16
I think this calls for Congratulations. You deserve it. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Damos on March 15, 2006, at 15:43:25
In reply to Is this feeling normal?, posted by ClearSkies on March 15, 2006, at 7:48:36
> I'm not depressed. YAY!!!!
I'm not anxious. YAY!!!!
I have some energy YAY!!!!,
although haven't figured out a direction to point it in.
Just having it is enough.
I haven't cried for 4 days, a record for me these past several years (!). YAY!!!!I think this deserves a quick Pasadoble :-)
> I'm so distrustful of this feeling. It's a bit like hypomania, except I'm not angry - I'm always angry while hypomanic. While I'm not at peace, I don't feel like I'm trying to battle myself into happiness or a sense of calm. It's just there, where I am, right now.And the trick is not to think yourself out of relative okayness - something I'm really truly excellent at. The distrust comes from this feeling not being *normal* for you. I know for me that recognising that I'm feeling content can really upset my applecart - how stupid is that. Like the Beatles sang "Let it Be".
> It's very strange. I like it. There's much less preoccupation with how I'm feeling and that is a real freedom.It is and I'm glad and very happy for you my friend. You've worked so very hard for this.
(((((ClearSkies)))))
Posted by agent858 on March 15, 2006, at 20:34:37
In reply to Re: Is this feeling normal? » ClearSkies, posted by Damos on March 15, 2006, at 15:43:25
enjoy it :-)
really.
it might pass... but if it does...
hopefully it will come back :-)
Posted by ClearSkies on March 16, 2006, at 5:46:26
In reply to Re: Is this feeling normal?, posted by agent858 on March 15, 2006, at 20:34:37
I'll take it - for now. Anxiety kicked in while I was grocery shopping amongst the motorized shopping carts. Feeling like there was no escape, nor way to get to the shelves of the snacks aisle. I can scale back my shopping list, or plan my visits for a more quiet time of day. Thinking of strategies to avoid the discomfort of anxiety is also something new.
How are you feeling?
ClearSkies
Posted by fallsfall on March 16, 2006, at 7:33:57
In reply to It lasted 6 hours! » agent858, posted by ClearSkies on March 16, 2006, at 5:46:26
I'm glad you wrote about it. Come back to this post frequently to remind yourself that it IS possible to feel OK.
I had about 8 hours one day that gave me hope through some harder times later on. There IS hope. You CAN feel better - you just proved it.
I'm so glad for you.
Posted by ClearSkies on March 16, 2006, at 9:37:49
In reply to Re: It lasted 6 hours! » ClearSkies, posted by fallsfall on March 16, 2006, at 7:33:57
> I'm glad you wrote about it. Come back to this post frequently to remind yourself that it IS possible to feel OK.
>
> I had about 8 hours one day that gave me hope through some harder times later on. There IS hope. You CAN feel better - you just proved it.
>
> I'm so glad for you.Great idea, Falls. I'm going to bookmark it.
Thanks
CS
Posted by Racer on March 16, 2006, at 11:34:53
In reply to It lasted 6 hours! » agent858, posted by ClearSkies on March 16, 2006, at 5:46:26
I'm glad I managed to catch you in those 6 hours!
And yes -- it is a very good idea to bookmark this post, so that you can remember not only that you can plan ways to reduce anxiety, but also that for six hours you felt normal.
Posted by gardenergirl on March 16, 2006, at 14:06:41
In reply to Re: It lasted 6 hours! » ClearSkies, posted by Racer on March 16, 2006, at 11:34:53
Well poo. I posted in reply yesterday, when you were still feeling good. But I goofed in managing the open windows on my desktop and lost the post.
And I really hate when carts or people are blocking the aisles when I'm grocery shopping. I have no patience. Bleah.
Hey, wanna share what you come up with for dealing with anxiety? I'm going to try to let myself feel it more versus automatically avoiding it. But when I do, I realize how darned uncomfortable it is, and think no wonder I defend against this feeling so much. But I feel ready and really need to start facing it. So any help/advice you can give is welcome.
Hope the good mood comes back soonest.
gg
Posted by sabrina0805 on March 16, 2006, at 14:11:07
In reply to It lasted 6 hours! » agent858, posted by ClearSkies on March 16, 2006, at 5:46:26
I could not handle the people, the carts, the screaming kids, the tellers, the the the .......... so I switched to internet shopping for the "big load". Was wonderfully stress free to spend so much money sitting on my butt!
And then I felt anxious about the money spent. Never win!!!!
(And my butt grew .......)
Posted by annierose on March 16, 2006, at 14:21:24
In reply to It lasted 6 hours! » agent858, posted by ClearSkies on March 16, 2006, at 5:46:26
CS ---
My T and I were discussing a similar subject. Maybe this will be helpful for you too. She said, "I think the more we believe that it's possible to expect differences in our feelings, or how others feel about us, the more likely we will start noticing the new positive feeling/behavior ... then the more it will happen, because we will be tuned in to that new feeling."
Not sure if I'm explaining it too well --- but at the time it made sense to me!
I'm glad you had 6 hours of peace today. Maybe next time it will last 7 hours, then 9 hours following that.
Posted by ClearSkies on March 17, 2006, at 6:45:18
In reply to Re: It lasted 6 hours!, posted by gardenergirl on March 16, 2006, at 14:06:41
> Hey, wanna share what you come up with for dealing with anxiety? I'm going to try to let myself feel it more versus automatically avoiding it. But when I do, I realize how darned uncomfortable it is, and think no wonder I defend against this feeling so much. But I feel ready and really need to start facing it. So any help/advice you can give is welcome.
>Hmm. When I am experiencing anxiety, I:
-think about something that distracts me - what colour I want to paint my happway, or what kind of frames I would get if I wanted my family photos to be displayed all together. I think I start organizing things in my head, putting them in order or creating calm. It leaks through the anxiety and my breathing can become deeper and the strangled throat feeling passes.-never grocery shop near the beginning of the month. Social security and pension cheques arrive and that when I'm most likely to be frustrated by the slower, older shoppers around me.
-if an aisle is crowded, I'll skip it and come back to it when it's emptier. I swear that when there's one person looking at a shelf, it draws other people in case there's a bargoon they have missed out on!
- look at my cart, decide what's essential - what can I do without on this shopping trip? and then I race to the shortest line in the checkout
- look at who is checking out customers. If they look slow and uncertain, I'll choose another clerk (don't want to answer the "what is this?" question as they hold up a vegetable that isn't peas or carrots).-picking a household chore and spending 15 minutes doing it, and not a minute more. Another distraction, but engages me physically.
-lavender essential oil. I'll put a vial in my handbag and wave it under my nose while I'm panting away. Another distraction.
Here's what doesn't work for me:
-going away to try to meditate. Seems that if I try to consciously slow down my thinking and breathing that they speed up at the attention I'm paying them.
-trying NOT to think about my anxiety symptoms. They become much worse when I consciously try to avoid thinking about them. Distraction works much better for me.ClearSkies
Posted by sabrina0805 on March 17, 2006, at 10:08:41
In reply to Dealing with anxiety symptoms » gardenergirl, posted by ClearSkies on March 17, 2006, at 6:45:18
I thought I was strange that I could not relax from meditation. Meditation makes me more anxious than ever. I am glad I am not the only one.
And lavender - another thing in common.
I really relate to you on this thread.
Hope you are well.
Sabrina
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