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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 24 of 24. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on March 4, 2006, at 22:00:03
Well, is it?
It's not going to be an expensive gift.
Do you think he will accept it? Will I make a fool of myself if he doesn't?
I'm in the middle of making the gift happen right now.
Deneb
Posted by JenStar on March 4, 2006, at 23:03:09
In reply to Is it OK to give Dr. Bob a gift at BabbleFest?, posted by Deneb on March 4, 2006, at 22:00:03
hi Deneb,
read this with several grains of salt, b/c it's only MY opinion. It's up to you to do what feels right! But, since you asked...here is what I think:If you didn't *love* him and profess your love here, a gift might be kind of cool, especially if it was something small and unusual from your hometown, something useful/interesting/non-romantic all at once.
But since you ARE in the throes of love, the gift becomes too much stress on you, almost. Instead of being a "nice to meet you," or an "I respect you and I won't greet you with empty hands" gesture, it becomes imbued with multiple layers of meaning and leaves you ripe for disappointment. And the fact that you ARE professing your love puts potential pressure on the recipient as well.
Or even --scratch all that. Why do you want to give a gift, exactly? I think if you can answer that question, the answer of yes/no will be clearer to you.
For example: Do you WANT the gift to be an "I respect you and I won't greet you with empty hands" gesture, which is common in some cultures as a sign of respect?
Or...do you want the gift to say "I Love You!!! Please love me too!!!"
Or...do you want the gift to say, "Remember me! I'm special!"
Or is it even possible that it's a gift meant (in an ever so slight way) to manipulate the recipient into engaging into some deeper relationship with you, because it's hard to say no to a gift, and anytime a gift is accepted it often makes the receiver feel "indebted" to the giver?
Is it a combination of some or all of the above? I admit that those are common reasons *I* give gifts...even if I don't want to admit it, always...
But seriously, if you think about what's going on, and why you want to give the gift, you may be able to decide what (if any) gift would be appropriate.
again, take all that with a grain of salt! It's only an opinion, so if you don't like it, feel free to ignore. :)
JenStar
Posted by crazy teresa on March 4, 2006, at 23:28:49
In reply to Is it OK to give Dr. Bob a gift at BabbleFest?, posted by Deneb on March 4, 2006, at 22:00:03
I hope you're not thinking of your virginity...
Posted by Deneb on March 4, 2006, at 23:38:45
In reply to Re: Is it OK to give Dr. Bob a gift at BabbleFest? » Deneb, posted by JenStar on March 4, 2006, at 23:03:09
> If you didn't *love* him and profess your love here, a gift might be kind of cool, especially if it was something small and unusual from your hometown, something useful/interesting/non-romantic all at once.
I think a gift then would be pretty cool too. :-) It could say, "Thanks for all the work you do here at Babble."
>
> But since you ARE in the throes of love, (LOL) the gift becomes too much stress on you, almost.>Instead of being a "nice to meet you," or an "I respect you and I won't greet you with empty hands" gesture, it becomes imbued with multiple layers of meaning and leaves you ripe for disappointment. And the fact that you ARE professing your love puts potential pressure on the recipient as well.
I wouldn't be disappointed if Dr. Bob didn't say anything but a simple "Thanks". I really truly want to give a gift with no strings attached. :-) BTW, I'm thinking of giving everyone else a gift too to make accepting the gift that much easier. LOL Again, I don't want anyone to give me a gift because I'm giving gifts. My gifts come with no strings attached. :-)
> For example: Do you WANT the gift to be an "I respect you and I won't greet you with empty hands" gesture, which is common in some cultures as a sign of respect?
I think I want the gift to say more than that.
>
> Or...do you want the gift to say "I Love You!!! Please love me too!!!"LOL, I want it to say the first part, but not the second part. I don't want Dr. Bob to say he loves me too. That would be weird.
>
> Or...do you want the gift to say, "Remember me! I'm special!"LOL, again, the first part, but not the second part.
> Or is it even possible that it's a gift meant (in an ever so slight way) to manipulate the recipient into engaging into some deeper relationship with you, because it's hard to say no to a gift, and anytime a gift is accepted it often makes the receiver feel "indebted" to the giver?
I don't want the receiver to feel "indebted" at all. I just want them to receive the gift and be happy. I know Dr. Bob will never engage in any relationship with me and I'm OK with that. In fact, that's probably the reason why I do love him.
> But seriously, if you think about what's going on, and why you want to give the gift, you may be able to decide what (if any) gift would be appropriate.
I think Dr. Bob will react the same way no matter what I do. He's very good with boundaries. I'm sure that even if I give him a very personal gift that he will act in an appropriate way....just say "thanks." I don't think he will do or say anything to suggest that he does or doesn't like me. I think he'll be able to compose himself in any situation.
>
> again, take all that with a grain of salt! It's only an opinion, so if you don't like it, feel free to ignore. :)
>Hey, I don't want to ignore your advice! You asked some very good questions. I'm really glad you replied. I think I'll do whatever makes me happy in terms of the gift thing and I'm sure Dr. Bob will be able to handle himself whatever I give him.
Plus, I think he'll read these posts and prepare himself. LOL
Deneb
Posted by Deneb on March 4, 2006, at 23:41:27
In reply to Re: Is it OK to give Dr. Bob a gift at BabbleFest? » Deneb, posted by crazy teresa on March 4, 2006, at 23:28:49
> I hope you're not thinking of your virginity...
Crazy Teresa!!!! LOL ROFLMAO!!!
OMG, I can't believe you wrote that! ROFL
I'm gonna remember this forever!
Thanks for the laugh!
Deneb
Posted by Larry Hoover on March 5, 2006, at 9:19:17
In reply to Re: Is it OK to give Dr. Bob a gift at BabbleFest? » crazy teresa, posted by Deneb on March 4, 2006, at 23:41:27
> > I hope you're not thinking of your virginity...
>
> Crazy Teresa!!!! LOL ROFLMAO!!!
>
> OMG, I can't believe you wrote that! ROFLWhat would we do without our lovely crazy t?
Missed you, hon.
Lar
Posted by crazy teresa on March 5, 2006, at 14:04:43
In reply to Re: The t-ster strikes! » Deneb, posted by Larry Hoover on March 5, 2006, at 9:19:17
Thanks, baby! I trust you're feeling better and eating butter tarts.
Posted by wildcard11 on March 5, 2006, at 14:59:34
In reply to Re: The t-ster strikes!, posted by crazy teresa on March 5, 2006, at 14:04:43
Posted by 10derHeart on March 5, 2006, at 16:52:31
In reply to Re: Is it OK to give Dr. Bob a gift at BabbleFest? » Deneb, posted by crazy teresa on March 4, 2006, at 23:28:49
> I hope you're not thinking of your virginity...
Hey you, what's wrong with thinking about one's virginity?
I mean, it's not like I can remember that long ago anyway... you know, when dinosaurs walked the earth, but if I could....
well, I'd just like the freedom to think about it if I want, thank you very much!!
|||||||| ;-) |||||||
Posted by sleepygirl on March 5, 2006, at 19:22:19
In reply to Re: Is it OK to give Dr. Bob a gift at BabbleFest? » crazy teresa, posted by 10derHeart on March 5, 2006, at 16:52:31
not my grandma's mind you, but someone's ;-)
2 eggs
2 cups brown sugar, packed
2 tbsp. vinegar
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 cup melted butter
1 1/3 cups raisinsBeat eggs. Add other ingredients. Mix well.
Pour into tart shells and bake at 450F for 10 minutes then at 350F for 20-25 minutes.
Posted by Phillipa on March 5, 2006, at 20:22:51
In reply to grandma's butter tarts, posted by sleepygirl on March 5, 2006, at 19:22:19
Deneb since you're an artist how about a nice picture for Bob and everyone else too. That is personal and treasureable. Love Phillipa
Posted by Larry Hoover on March 5, 2006, at 23:25:38
In reply to WHAT IS A BUTTER TART??? lol (nm) » crazy teresa, posted by wildcard11 on March 5, 2006, at 14:59:34
A butter tart, when properly prepared, is an amazing whole mouth whole spirit melding of sweet golden glory, bursting on your tongue.....
....ergo, I christened one most artful butter tart producer to be her Magick Butter Tarts. They are so very good. I will trust that my karma extends to the moment of purchase of those exquisite little delicacies (the level of Magick is slightly variable, but that's where the karma comes in) that you know are going so very straight, straight to the hips. But there is no defense. That is their lot in life. To be Magick. To the hips. Babblefest/buttertartfest, in Toronto.
Learned anything yet? ;-)) (double chin, post tart)
Butter, egg, brown sugar/corn syrup/maple?, touch of vanilla and salt. Something like a pecan pie without the pecans, but the goo is made especially gooey, as that is the point. Traditional ones have raisins, but plain and pecan are found (and will be available at Babblefest in Toronto). The Magick ones come in three sorts. They also do a raspberry struesel tart. Oh dear. Bring them all, I shall.
Lar
Posted by Dr. Bob on March 6, 2006, at 2:42:21
In reply to Is it OK to give Dr. Bob a gift at BabbleFest?, posted by Deneb on March 4, 2006, at 22:00:03
> Well, is it?
Thanks, it's nice of you to think of me, but I'd rather that time and energy went into making it a fun party for everyone.
Bob
Posted by wildcard11 on March 6, 2006, at 8:32:06
In reply to Re: WHAT IS A BUTTER TART??? » wildcard11, posted by Larry Hoover on March 5, 2006, at 23:25:38
Thanks..lol Your description was MUCH BETTER than the textbook version =P now i'm hungry!
Posted by Deneb on March 6, 2006, at 10:13:32
In reply to Re: gifts, posted by Dr. Bob on March 6, 2006, at 2:42:21
> > Well, is it?
>
> Thanks, it's nice of you to think of me, but I'd rather that time and energy went into making it a fun party for everyone.
>
> BobOkay Dr. Bob, if that's what makes you happy. :-)
Dr. Bob, I was knitting you a green, blue and purple multicoloured scarf. I think the scarf looks pretty even though it has a lot of imperfections (because I don't knit well). Are you sure you don't want it?
If you don't want it, I'll wear it.
I'll help with the party planning and make it fun for everyone.
That's nice of you to want to make it a fun party for everyone.
You're the best!
Deneb*
Posted by Deneb on March 6, 2006, at 11:08:54
In reply to Re: gifts » Dr. Bob, posted by Deneb on March 6, 2006, at 10:13:32
I love it when you reply to Babblers. You must speed read, how on Earth do you go through so many messages? LOL
I just love you so much. I've somehow attached to you and now I can't let go!
Don't worry, I won't go psycho on you because I think you don't love me in return. I know you don't love me and I'm totally okay with that. I prefer it that way. No need to hire security. LOL
Deneb*
Posted by Deneb on March 6, 2006, at 15:37:33
In reply to (((((((((((Dr. Bob)))))))))), posted by Deneb on March 6, 2006, at 11:08:54
Dr. Bob just wrote a lot of things. I'm so happy. He's communicating with us. This is great.
Awww...I love it when he writes stuff.
:-)
:-)
:o)
Deneb*
Posted by muffled on March 9, 2006, at 11:36:41
In reply to Re: gifts, posted by Dr. Bob on March 6, 2006, at 2:42:21
> > Well, is it?
>
> Thanks, it's nice of you to think of me, but I'd rather that time and energy went into making it a fun party for everyone.
>
***I think I see an orgy comming on......Yikes!!!! :-o !!
Posted by AuntieMel on March 9, 2006, at 13:46:36
In reply to Re: gifts » Dr. Bob, posted by Deneb on March 6, 2006, at 10:13:32
I'm sure if you gave him something you *made* he would accept it gracefully.
He probably doesn't want it to get out of hand.
Posted by Deneb on March 9, 2006, at 15:26:35
In reply to Re: gifts » Deneb, posted by AuntieMel on March 9, 2006, at 13:46:36
> I'm sure if you gave him something you *made* he would accept it gracefully.
>
> He probably doesn't want it to get out of hand.You really think so? :-)
Will it make other people uncomfortable? I have to really think about this first. I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable.
I'll come up with something.
Deneb*
Posted by AuntieMel on March 10, 2006, at 12:55:58
In reply to Re: gifts » AuntieMel, posted by Deneb on March 9, 2006, at 15:26:35
Don't worry - I'm sure if you gave him something you made no one would be uncomfortable.
Now if you went out and bought a lavish gift? That would be different.
Posted by Tamar on March 11, 2006, at 18:48:40
In reply to Re: gifts » AuntieMel, posted by Deneb on March 9, 2006, at 15:26:35
> > I'm sure if you gave him something you *made* he would accept it gracefully.
> >
> > He probably doesn't want it to get out of hand.
>
> You really think so? :-)I suspect he would be delighted if you gave him the scarf you've made. I'm sure he would wear it with pride...
Tamar
Posted by Dinah on March 12, 2006, at 12:24:21
In reply to I agree with Auntie Mel » Deneb, posted by Tamar on March 11, 2006, at 18:48:40
Except that he's already expressed wishes to the contrary, hasn't he?
I always think that it's a gift in itself to honor someone's expressed preferences.
But then again I grew up with my mother.
Posted by Deneb on March 12, 2006, at 12:35:07
In reply to Re: I agree with Auntie Mel, posted by Dinah on March 12, 2006, at 12:24:21
> Except that he's already expressed wishes to the contrary, hasn't he?
>
> I always think that it's a gift in itself to honor someone's expressed preferences.
>
> But then again I grew up with my mother.I'm thoroughly confused now. I don't know what to do with the scarf. I really want to give Dr. Bob the scarf. It won't take away time and energy to make the trip fun for all. I knit when I have spare time. It's going really slowly. I'm putting a lot of love into my scarf.
I'm actually starting a new Bob scarf because the old Bob scarf is too messed up. I really enjoy knitting it.
I really don't expect anything from Dr. Bob. I just want him to accept my scarf. He doesn't have to say a word.
Deneb*
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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