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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Patient on March 28, 2005, at 13:18:23
In reply to Re: Here ... go to town!, posted by SLS on March 28, 2005, at 9:54:44
> > I always referred it as "I feel like I'm in a cage and the door is open, but I don't know how to get out". I didn't want to get out.
>
> "...my prison was just an open cage
> There were no keys no guards
> Just one frightened man and some old shadows for bars" - Bruce Springsteen
>
> You just reminded me of this lyric.
>
>
> - Scott
>
>I thought it best to redirect this.....The lyrics you wrote are perfectly true. (thanks) For me it has much to do with low-self esteem, zero confidance, self-reproach, and perfectionism. Distorted thinking has kept me in my cage for many years. What a waste!
There's a character in the book, "Pilgrim's Progress" like this; in a self-made cage.
Posted by Maxime on March 30, 2005, at 4:17:55
In reply to Re: Here ... go to town! » Maxime, posted by SLS on March 28, 2005, at 7:26:50
Yes, you can say anything you want to. Go to town!
Maxime
Posted by SLS on March 30, 2005, at 4:17:55
In reply to Re: Here ... go to town! » SLS, posted by Maxime on March 28, 2005, at 23:12:45
I love you.
Posted by Maxime on March 30, 2005, at 4:17:55
In reply to Re: Here ... go to town! » Maxime, posted by SLS on March 28, 2005, at 23:46:32
> I love you.
>... crying
Maxi
Posted by gardenergirl on March 30, 2005, at 4:17:55
In reply to Re: Here ... go to town! » SLS, posted by Maxime on March 28, 2005, at 23:51:52
Here are some virtual tissues and a cyber hug.
(((Maxime))))
You are not alone.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on March 30, 2005, at 4:17:55
In reply to Re: Here ... go to town! » Maxime, posted by SLS on March 28, 2005, at 23:46:32
Posted by SLS on March 30, 2005, at 4:17:55
In reply to Re: Here ... go to town! » SLS, posted by Maxime on March 28, 2005, at 23:51:52
> > I love you.
> >
>
> ... crying
>
> MaxiI saw your post on the Administration board indicating that you will be leaving us and going far, far away. Now I'm the one who's crying - or at least tearing. My eyes really are full.
Don't go.
I cannot stress enough how much your knowledgable, intelligent, and caring posts benefit this community. Besides that, you have enriched the board by sharing the depths of your despair. I don't know what else to say. Perhaps you can give PB an opportunity to share with you and have you accept the genuine concern and warm sentiments that have been directed towards you.
One of the ways that depression lies is through mental filters. It tends to have the sufferer see only the negative while filtering out and not recognizing the positive. Another similar lie is to This is NOT a voluntary choice. It happens beyond awareness. You've had an aweful lot of positive stuff thrown at you. Make sure some of it sticks!
MORE LIES TOLD BY DEPRESSION:
Cognitive distortions:
–(1) All or Nothing Thinking: You see things in black and white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect. You see yourself as a total failure
–(2) Overgeneralization: You see a single negative event as a never- ending pattern of defeat
–(3) Mental Filter: You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively so that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that discolors the entire beaker of water
– (4)Disqualifying the Positive: You reject positive experiences by insisting they “don’t count” for some reason or other. In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences
–(5)Jumping to Conclusions: You make a negative interpretation though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion
•Mind Reading: You arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you and you don’t bother to check it out
•The Fortune Teller Error: You anticipate that things will turn out badly, and you feel convinced that your prediction is an already- established fact
–(6)Magnification (Catastrophizing/ minimization): You exaggerate the importance of things (like your F and someone else’s A), or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny ( your own desirable qualities or the other fellow’s imperfections)
•Also called the binocular trick
–(7)Emotional Reasoning: You should assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are
•I feel it therefore it must be true
– (8)Should Statements: You try to motivate yourself with shoulds and shouldn’ts, as if you had to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything.
•“musts” and “oughts” are also offenders
•Emotional consequence is guilt
•When statements of should are directed towards others you feel anger, frustration, and resentment.
•Who’s theories does this relate to?
– (9)Labeling and Mislabeling: This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself
•I’m a looser
–When someone else's behavior rubs you the wrong way, you attach a negative label to him
•He’s a huge jerk
–Mislabeling involves describing an event with language that is highly colored and emotionally loaded
– (10)Personalization: You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event which in fact you were not primarily responsible for
–(11)Self-Worth: You make an arbitrary decision that in order to accept yourself as worthy, okay, or simply feel good about yourself, you have to perform in a certain way
- Scott
Posted by ed_uk on March 30, 2005, at 4:17:55
In reply to Re: Here ... go to town! » Maxime, posted by SLS on March 29, 2005, at 8:37:12
What an excellent and well thought out post Scott. I could identify with so many of the points which you made. Maybe I do need CBT after all. My last therapist couldn't help me but I have been referred to a new one.
Kind regards,
Ed.
Posted by Dinah on March 30, 2005, at 4:17:55
In reply to Scott, you're a peach! (nm) » SLS, posted by gardenergirl on March 29, 2005, at 0:48:53
Posted by Racer on March 30, 2005, at 4:17:55
In reply to Re: Here ... go to town! » Maxime, posted by SLS on March 29, 2005, at 8:37:12
I've printed your post out, because it is so powerful. I recognized myself in a lot of those points.
Thank you.
Posted by SLS on March 30, 2005, at 4:17:56
In reply to Wow » SLS, posted by Racer on March 29, 2005, at 12:50:51
A little CBT and TLC can go a long way.
:-)
- Scott
Posted by gardenergirl on March 30, 2005, at 4:17:56
In reply to Re: Wow » Racer, posted by SLS on March 29, 2005, at 15:11:48
Yep, I saved it too. Just may have to use it with clients. Although they may think SLS is some corporation or something. ;)
I'll just tell them it stands for "Super Life Saver"
gg
Posted by Sarah T. on March 30, 2005, at 4:17:56
In reply to Scott, you're a peach! (nm) » SLS, posted by gardenergirl on March 29, 2005, at 0:48:53
Is he a fuzzy peach?
Posted by 10derHeart on March 30, 2005, at 8:27:21
In reply to Re: Wow » Racer, posted by SLS on March 29, 2005, at 15:11:48
Yes, it can.
A few years back, I was the biggest skeptic. Then an extrememly patient, caring, loving T. led a CBT group I was in. Slowly, the wall came down and the concepts seeped in. Still use them nearly every day now. It's become a reflex, almost, and has prevented countless hours of unnecessary suffering.Thanks for posting those. Can't find where I've buried my old materials from that group and now I can just use your post. Scott, you're the best!
Posted by kid47 on March 30, 2005, at 10:02:55
In reply to Re: Here ... go to town! » Maxime, posted by SLS on March 29, 2005, at 8:37:12
Very insightful stuff. Extremely helpful. Thanks Scott. You *are* a peach.
Peace out
kid
Posted by TofuEmmy on March 30, 2005, at 10:41:09
In reply to Depression lies » SLS, posted by kid47 on March 30, 2005, at 10:02:55
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on March 30, 2005, at 16:14:37
In reply to Re: Here ... go to town! » Maxime, posted by SLS on March 28, 2005, at 23:46:32
> I love you.
Aww Scott, you are such a blessing to us.
Posted by sunny10 on March 31, 2005, at 11:03:23
In reply to Re: Here ... go to town! » SLS, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on March 30, 2005, at 16:14:37
I don't want you to go anywhere either... I hope you realize that being here is the TLC part that Scott was talking about.
(((((((Maxime))))))) there's a couple more cyberhugs; close your eyes, wrap your arms around yourself and feel my hug, okay?
We're all human. Let's be human together.
-sunny10
This is the end of the thread.
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