Posted by SLS on March 29, 2005, at 8:37:12 [reposted on March 30, 2005, at 4:17:55 | original URL]
In reply to Re: Here ... go to town! » SLS, posted by Maxime on March 28, 2005, at 23:51:52
> > I love you.
> >
>
> ... crying
>
> MaxiI saw your post on the Administration board indicating that you will be leaving us and going far, far away. Now I'm the one who's crying - or at least tearing. My eyes really are full.
Don't go.
I cannot stress enough how much your knowledgable, intelligent, and caring posts benefit this community. Besides that, you have enriched the board by sharing the depths of your despair. I don't know what else to say. Perhaps you can give PB an opportunity to share with you and have you accept the genuine concern and warm sentiments that have been directed towards you.
One of the ways that depression lies is through mental filters. It tends to have the sufferer see only the negative while filtering out and not recognizing the positive. Another similar lie is to This is NOT a voluntary choice. It happens beyond awareness. You've had an aweful lot of positive stuff thrown at you. Make sure some of it sticks!
MORE LIES TOLD BY DEPRESSION:
Cognitive distortions:
–(1) All or Nothing Thinking: You see things in black and white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect. You see yourself as a total failure
–(2) Overgeneralization: You see a single negative event as a never- ending pattern of defeat
–(3) Mental Filter: You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively so that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that discolors the entire beaker of water
– (4)Disqualifying the Positive: You reject positive experiences by insisting they “don’t count” for some reason or other. In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences
–(5)Jumping to Conclusions: You make a negative interpretation though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion
•Mind Reading: You arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you and you don’t bother to check it out
•The Fortune Teller Error: You anticipate that things will turn out badly, and you feel convinced that your prediction is an already- established fact
–(6)Magnification (Catastrophizing/ minimization): You exaggerate the importance of things (like your F and someone else’s A), or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny ( your own desirable qualities or the other fellow’s imperfections)
•Also called the binocular trick
–(7)Emotional Reasoning: You should assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are
•I feel it therefore it must be true
– (8)Should Statements: You try to motivate yourself with shoulds and shouldn’ts, as if you had to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything.
•“musts” and “oughts” are also offenders
•Emotional consequence is guilt
•When statements of should are directed towards others you feel anger, frustration, and resentment.
•Who’s theories does this relate to?
– (9)Labeling and Mislabeling: This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself
•I’m a looser
–When someone else's behavior rubs you the wrong way, you attach a negative label to him
•He’s a huge jerk
–Mislabeling involves describing an event with language that is highly colored and emotionally loaded
– (10)Personalization: You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event which in fact you were not primarily responsible for
–(11)Self-Worth: You make an arbitrary decision that in order to accept yourself as worthy, okay, or simply feel good about yourself, you have to perform in a certain way
- Scott
poster:SLS
thread:476751
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050330/msgs/477554.html