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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by justyourlaugh on July 8, 2004, at 10:12:57
i found out that i got into art school years ago because my mother interfeared..
i am now doubting my whole ability to move forwards into an art profession.
i know this should not matter..
i am having troubles letting go of the pain from the past...the people i have hurt..the people who lost faith in me...
the way i had no idea how incredibly screwed up i was..
am i still screwed?
when do i get to see clearly?
what a day!
jyl
Posted by TexasChic on July 8, 2004, at 10:37:29
In reply to no one told me..., posted by justyourlaugh on July 8, 2004, at 10:12:57
No matter how you got in, you succeeded once you got there. That's all the proof you need.
As for not knowing how screwed up you were in the past, if we had known how screwed up we really were, we problably would have done things differently. You can't blame yourself for something you didn't know. What matters is where you are today and how much you have overcome. I get depressed sometimes at how behind in life I am compared to others my age, but I know I have made incredible strides in my life, so I try to concentrate on that. I mean, who knows if others could have overcome as much as I have in my situation (or you in yours)? Don't sell yourself short. You're here and you're making progress, that's all anyone can really hope for.
Posted by Dinah on July 8, 2004, at 11:28:10
In reply to no one told me..., posted by justyourlaugh on July 8, 2004, at 10:12:57
JYL, it doesn't matter how you got in. It matters what you did with the chance. I've gotten all my jobs (all two of them) through people I knew. But I did my best once I got there.
Posted by ghost on July 8, 2004, at 11:39:00
In reply to no one told me..., posted by justyourlaugh on July 8, 2004, at 10:12:57
be thankful you had a connection. it doesn't matter how you got there, because you're there now. make the best of it. i think you're lucky you got in, however you got in.
i found out years later that i got my first car/car loan because someone in the loan dept knew my dad and recognized the name-- if i hadn't gotten that car, i never would have gotten my first job, made money, gone on road trips, and had a million different jobs. things would be a lot different if one person hadn't opted to let my loan app slip through. i'm a firm believer in strange little coincedences (butterfly effects!)-- use them to your advantage!
Posted by partlycloudy on July 8, 2004, at 12:08:59
In reply to no one told me..., posted by justyourlaugh on July 8, 2004, at 10:12:57
It's so true that it's what you got out of art school that's important, and not how you got there.
I know what you mean about our past haunting us. For me it is taking a long time to figure out how my past has impacted the way I am today. For me it's a lifetime project to incorporate the past into who I am today; not to be hurt, angry, or ashamed of it. At the moment that seems to be possible by a person much stronger and smarter than I am, but I won't stop trying.
And don't let your past diminish what you've accomplished so far! An artist, a mother, a wife - and most importantly, a very caring person. Those also came from your past!
Posted by justyourlaugh on July 8, 2004, at 12:24:38
In reply to Re: no one told me... » justyourlaugh, posted by partlycloudy on July 8, 2004, at 12:08:59
..i dropped out before i finished my second year because i got knocked up, and never went back.
i only am an artist because i say i am..
last night i had a dream i went back to finish my major...it has been haunting me all day..
i cant help feeling like i threw away my life..
i feel like i am too old to start over..
i just cant seem to get my foot in the door ..rather my foot out the door to become someone i like...can respect..
how come no one is knocking at my door ready to make me a star?
jyl
Posted by partlycloudy on July 8, 2004, at 12:58:22
In reply to but..., posted by justyourlaugh on July 8, 2004, at 12:24:38
> ..i dropped out before i finished my second year because i got knocked up, and never went back.
Hmm.. I never went to college or university except for some night school. I ran away from home to get married at 21. I have closed many doors that were open to me, but it has all led to who I am today. Screwed up and getting happier and more content. I used to think it would all have been different had I got a degree, pursued a career; but would I happier? I seriously doubt that I would. Instead I could end up like my sister, with a chemistry degree, a disability due to depression, and guilt for having spent all that time and money on something that she couldn't do.
> i feel like i am too old to start over..
> i just cant seem to get my foot in the door ..rather my foot out the door to become someone i like...can respect..I think that wanting more out of our lives and wanting to improve ourselves is a sign of true healing. We are the little engines that could, and we're looking at that next big mountain.
Respect and liking ourselves is actually more important (at least to me) than a formal education at this point in my life. I'll be 42 this year, and I still think that if I screw up enough courage, money, and time; that I'd like to go to school. I know now that it wouldn't define me as a success one way or another. I think of who I am NOW, where I am NOW. The past is the past, and the future is limited by my desires and practicality.
If you feel that you aren't fully an artist because your art school education is incomplete - and I beg to differ, your art is accomplished, expressive and powerful - then by all means, do it. It's not too late to pursue our dreams. How about all those old fogeys out there who take up skiing at age 70? Or finish high school, or learn to read? No such thing as too late for anybody.
> how come no one is knocking at my door ready to make me a star?
Ha! That's because I put my request in before you, sweetiepie!
pc
Posted by TexasChic on July 8, 2004, at 13:37:29
In reply to but..., posted by justyourlaugh on July 8, 2004, at 12:24:38
I've had a reaccuring dream that my mom forced me to go back to high school because I never finished. I'm always my current age (more than twice that of a high schooler) and I'm always getting lost and forgetting what time my classes are and hiding in the bathroom. My T says its an anxiety dream, brought on by worries I'm having at that point in time (not neccesarily about school or anything).
I've since gotten my GED and taken a few years of college. But I haven't completed a degree yet either. If you had to drop out because you got pregnant, then it just shows you have your priorities straight. Being a mother is no easy task. As for being an artist, really, who gets to decide if you are or aren't? If you think you are, than I say you are!
By the way, what type of work are you trying to get into? I'm a graphic artist.
Posted by ghost on July 8, 2004, at 13:45:18
In reply to but..., posted by justyourlaugh on July 8, 2004, at 12:24:38
i like that you're an artist because you say you are. it makes me feel good that i sometimes call myself a photographer. (which is the only reason i am one, myself.)
nothing wrong with that. i think you're doing just fine....
Posted by karen_kay on July 8, 2004, at 13:57:34
In reply to but..., posted by justyourlaugh on July 8, 2004, at 12:24:38
we are all only what we are because we say we are that.... look inside yourself to find out what you are and believe it. i know in my heart i am a good person, therefore i AM a good person. you know in your heart you are an artist, therefore you ARE an artist dear. take a look at van gough. he didn't sell anything until he was dead, but he's one of the most famous artists ever. just because people weren't knocking his door down, didn't stop him from expressing his emotions through his art.
so you took a break from school. it happens. i too took a break. but, it's never too late to resume learning and experiencing the things you want and need to learn from life. if you want and need to go back to art school, don't let a small break stop you from getting what you need from life. go back and get your education dear. many people do it. my sister is doing that right now. she too took a break. but, she realized that she needs more education, so she decided to go back to school and she loves it. she doesn't feel out of place at all.
once you get your foot back in the door, you'll soon realize you are that person you respect and love. and soon, your whole body will be through that door. you'll see!!!!
about having connections: i learned in school that having connections is the best way to get ahead in anything. i got my last job on a film by knowing someone who produced it. that's the only reason i got the job, because she knew me and knew that i knew what i was doing. it NEVER hurts to have connections dear. NEVER!!!!! they only help you get your foot through that door. it's not that you couldn't get your foot through in the first place, it's just a gentle push in the right direction dear.
no one knocks on your door to make you a star dear. i really wish they did. i've been waiting for the knock as well. you have to knock on their door unfortunately. but, i have no doubt in my head that once you start knocking on doors, they'll come running dear.
go back to school.. don't be scared.. go knock on doors.. once you start knocking, they'll return those knocks, i promise you.. i can see your talent through your posts.. but, they can't see it until you show it dear.. show them and they'll answer..
((((((jyl)))))) i hope you have as much faith in yourself as we do. i know you are a star. i hope you know you are too dear. take care of yourself, i would if i was there...
Posted by justyourlaugh on July 8, 2004, at 14:20:25
In reply to Re: but..., posted by TexasChic on July 8, 2004, at 13:37:29
thankyou for your post tex..
i dont think i am trying to get into a type of art..i have no more room on my walls for another painting..my old t said i was selfish because i am a closet painter.
my kids are getting older and i guess i am feeling like i need to be something other than a mother...
not that being a mom isnt enough...i just feel so lost sometimes?
jyl
Posted by justyourlaugh on July 8, 2004, at 14:25:13
In reply to Re: but..., posted by ghost on July 8, 2004, at 13:45:18
thankyou ghost,
tomorrow i will be a fire truck!
jk
thanks again for the boost..
well apreciated..
jyl
Posted by justyourlaugh on July 8, 2004, at 14:34:18
In reply to miss jyl..., posted by karen_kay on July 8, 2004, at 13:57:34
karen,
you always have such kind wise words.
i will not be going back to school as an artist...is it okay to feel that i know as much as they do on my subject?..goodness that sounds so ignorant..
i want to grow on my own terms..
i dont know what i want anymore?
maybe a cheese toast for right now.
jyl
Posted by ghost on July 8, 2004, at 14:37:34
In reply to ghost..., posted by justyourlaugh on July 8, 2004, at 14:25:13
Posted by justyourlaugh on July 8, 2004, at 15:08:07
In reply to No buts about it. » justyourlaugh, posted by partlycloudy on July 8, 2004, at 12:58:22
partly,
thankyou for being you.
i am glad i have found you.
lvs
Posted by karen_kay on July 8, 2004, at 15:15:22
In reply to kk, posted by justyourlaugh on July 8, 2004, at 14:34:18
you said: *is it okay to feel that i know as much as they do on my subject?..*
imo: heck yeah it's ok to think that!!! i think that critiquing works is a good thing. and learing about other artists is a good thing. but, if someone has talent, i don't know if it's such a good thing to 'water it down' by learning the techniques of others. if you have natural abilities (which you obviously do), then explore them, expand on them. but, don't change your style to wht's 'popular' or 'acceptable' because some prof tells you to. that's what i fear about my education. that i must change my style to what's 'acceptable' or to what makes money now. that's why i'm all about indy films rather than blockbusters. beaause with independant filsm, there's more room for your natural style rather than 'blow them up and blood and guts' because that's what people want to see...
go to school for what you want... you know your own style. don't change that for anyone. don't compromise your art dear. and don't think you sound ignorant because you know your own style and direction. (personally i'm the same way. i don't think i know more than my profs, but i know what i want to do and i won't compromise my owqn personal ointegrity for anyone or any director for the sake of making money.... NO WAY!!!!! ok, passionate kk is leaving the building now :)
and i don't know what i want either.. but, could you make me a cheese toast too dear? i'm rather hungry and haven't eten yet.... sometimes all of us feel directionless, but sometimes the direction hits us in the middle of the night. it will come to you dear. probably when you least expect it, like when you are sitting on the toilet or something.. that's when it's bound to happen, when you can't get up and jot it down.. just hope you have a good memory..
jyl, take care dear. adn don't burn my cheese toast, or passionate kk will return and demand a new one :)
Posted by B2chica on July 8, 2004, at 17:47:12
In reply to no one told me..., posted by justyourlaugh on July 8, 2004, at 10:12:57
Hey JYL had to butt in here.
At first i didn't reply cuz all said what i would have said, butt now i have to add:
-Everyone is right in that it doesn't matter how you got in but that you were there.
-And about dropping out, you did Exactly what was right for You at That time. Don't regret that.
-And as for "calling yourself and artist", there are MANY "artist's" -and i use that term loosely- out there that have fancy degree's and they have No art concept or vision or true individualist style. (frankly put-they su@k)
It doesn't take a fancy degree to say who or what you are inside. ART is expression Art is YOU. and if you can express yourself with a unique style, and have vision and concepts for your work then you are an artist.
-Also making money from your work doesn't determine your value as an artist either...that's easy enough to just look at the greats- picasso and our bipolar favorite VanGough-he didn't make squat off his work when he was alive...look at it now (not in terms of money either) look at his style and expression in his work. You can really "feel" it. (oh, and how many degree's in art did they have????)
I guess i'm ranting but just reading your posts you sound like you are an artist through and through. and if you don't have it in your heart, no fancy school will give it to you.
NOW, with that said. if going back to school and getting a BFA is something that you crave to do...well, then do it. Sometimes you need the round about way to get things, i believe this makes them well worth while. That's how it's worked with my education. I've always been older than my classmates, it's just taken me longer than most, but i also have a h@ll of a lot of experience both in profession AND (most importantly) in life.
and i wouldn't Trade it for all the tea in china!And Never forget the key to Art is PASSION.
Best wishes.b2c.
Posted by AuntieMel on July 9, 2004, at 8:54:24
In reply to but..., posted by justyourlaugh on July 8, 2004, at 12:24:38
I finished college when I was 36. But I did it because it was a personal goal of mine. When I graduated I had to take a pay cut to go into my new field.
So, is college what you want for yourself? If it is, you should go for it. If not, then maybe you should find another way to for you to earn your respect. How about volunteering art lessons. Are there any community after school programs for "at risk" teenagers? Now that's a group that needs to learn positive self expression!
This is the end of the thread.
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