![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 153 to 177 of 545. Go back in thread:
Posted by noa on April 9, 2004, at 23:00:35
In reply to Re: Hey, Sandy . . . you still sleeping?? » jlynne, posted by SandyWeb on April 9, 2004, at 22:41:26
I'm coming up to the 20th anniversary of my hospitalization, and what you said reminds me of some of what I felt then--lack of control mostly. But I also felt it was good to have been there if only to have kept me safe. The therapy in the hospital I was in was negligible, but it was a way to keep me safe for a while.
Take good care of yourself, Sandy.
Posted by SandyWeb on April 10, 2004, at 20:37:24
In reply to RE:: Sandy, posted by mystic on April 9, 2004, at 22:59:05
Thanks for everyone's concern. I don't think I've ever had so much attention directed towards me! A little disconcerting! Lol! But I think it's wonderful how strangers can all come together for a common purpose. It reminds me of when I worked on the SwissAir disaster. It didn't matter who you were or what your "rank" was.....everyone had that common goal of doing whatever was necessary. I worked in the morgue, so I got to see it all....body parts, personal belongings, and what was left of the plane as it was brought in piece by piece. It gave me hope for our little world when so many people were all coming together to look out for total strangers. And that's what you guys have all done. I mean, who the heck is Sandy, right? But you all pulled together for me. What a group!!! Gotta love ya!!
And, of course I am not upset with you, Mystic. I'm glad that you all got involved. I really believe that I wouldn't be here if not for the interference. Am I EVER glad that I posted to the board. Now I just have to take it day by day. I feel a little stronger for having made it past my birthday. WooHoo!!!! *smile*
All that being said, I'm still having a heck of a time with my brain! Lol! It seems to be getting worse. My daughter just laughed at me tonight and said that I was so confused. No kidding!! I get lost, I forget where I'm going or even why I'm going there, I feel nauseous, my head won't stop with the maracas, and I still can't understand what is being said and I quite frequently will begin to say something but I can't get through the darn sentence....so I just garble the rest. My brain is freaking me out! Lol! I am so dizzy, and I just want to make it stop!!! Argh!!
Time and patience, right? I'm just scared that if it keeps up, I'm going to have to go back into the hospital because I can't function properly!!!! As much as I enjoyed the great people who work there, I do NOT want to return as a patient. I have an appointment with a pdoc on Wednesday. I'm hoping I can converse properly with him. I don't want him to make me go back in. So I'm just waiting it out, and hoping that my poor ole brain will clear up by Wednesday afternoon. Maybe I'll be my old self by then.
Has anyone else gone through this?? If you have, could you share with us your experience? How long does it take for the brain to adjust to being med free???
Love you guys! And Dr. Bob....you rock!!! *big hug*
Smiles,
Sandy
Posted by mystic on April 11, 2004, at 9:07:28
In reply to RE:: Sandy, posted by SandyWeb on April 10, 2004, at 20:37:24
Sandy...Happy Easter...Hope you are doing well..and the kids and you have a great day..!!! It was very quiet in here yesterday...you take care of yourself...Mystic
Posted by jlynne on April 11, 2004, at 21:06:39
In reply to RE:: Sandy, posted by SandyWeb on April 10, 2004, at 20:37:24
>I get lost, I forget where I'm going or even why I'm going there, I feel nauseous, my head won't stop with the maracas, and I still can't understand what is being said and I quite frequently will begin to say something but I can't get through the darn sentence....so I just garble the rest.
>Hi, Sandy:~) I hope you are having a nice, peaceful Easter.
It has been many years since I was hospitalized, but I do remember having a terrible time functioning mentally. One of the worst parts for me was making decisions - - FORGET IT - - couldn't do it. I also found myself crying one minute, laughing the next, then sometimes locking myself in my room, to protect my kids.
And my kids grew up thinking it was normal to walk through a grocery store, fill up the shopping cart with groceries, and then end up having to leave the store without the groceries because I couldn't keep it together long enough to go through the check out line.
I'm sure that part of what you are going through is withdrawal from your meds, but your brain has been doing flip-flops trying to keep up with your emotions, too. Your body has been producing its own little pharmaceuticals in an attempt to protect you from the stress you have been experiencing. You just have to take it slowly, and give your body and mind time to heal.
What helped me the most, I think, was talking to my T and learning about my illness. I also did a great deal of writing - - whatever came into my head; thoughts, memories, feelings [MOSTLY feelings].
But you know what? After surviving that experience, I can now honestly say that I am capable of facing anything . . . because I have already been through hell! And now you can say that, too, because we are going to help you through it . . . and you are going to come out stronger than you ever thought you could be.
The human spirit is an amazing thing, Sandy, and yours is ready to heal and to grow. The scars are what character and humility are built upon.
God bless you on this special day.
((((Sandy)))) ((((HUGS))))
...jlynne
Posted by noa on April 12, 2004, at 9:24:02
In reply to Sandy, posted by jlynne on April 11, 2004, at 21:06:39
>But you know what? After surviving that experience, I can now honestly say that I am capable of facing anything . . . because I have already been through hell!....The human spirit is an amazing thing, Sandy, and yours is ready to heal and to grow. The scars are what character and humility are built upon.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this!
Posted by EmmyS on April 12, 2004, at 10:21:36
In reply to RE:: Sandy, posted by SandyWeb on April 10, 2004, at 20:37:24
Sandy -
I guess Dr Bob doesn't want to move your post from psychobabble since it had to do with meds. Fine. But what you said was that you quit your meds 2 weeks ago cold turkey and are feeling awfully sick from that. You were not given any new scripts while in the hospital, other than a couple ativans.
But, you were not honest with the people at the hospital about your symptoms. As you put it, you were "acting" the whole time you were there in order to leave asap.
Sandy, Sandy, Sandy...mental health professionals have to rely on the reports of their patients. If patients smile and say, "Hey, I feel SO much better! I don't feel sad, I'm not hearing voices, I don't want to cut, I don't want to die, I'd never do that to my kids, I really just need to get home, I need to get back to work", etc., well, they are not psychics and they can't hook you up to a lie detector, or use chinese water torture on you to get at the truth. In order to feel better, you HAVE to be honest with them. If you are not honest with them, they have NO WAY to make you feel better. They have no tools to use against undisclosed symptoms.
On Wednesday you have a Pdoc appt. Will you be honest with him?
Also, regarding your sister....she loves you and wants to help. She is a real live human being, who loves you, in your real life, who wants to help. A SUPPORT SYSTEM!! Yeah!! It will take some getting used to the change in dynamic between you two, but that will happen in time. She's worried because she loves you. Let her love you. That the best gift you could ever give her. Give to her. Let her help.
Take care Sandy.
Emmy
Posted by LynneDa on April 12, 2004, at 10:54:41
In reply to RE:: Sandy, posted by SandyWeb on April 10, 2004, at 20:37:24
Hi Sandy - Good to hear from you, you're sounding pretty good . . . oh except for the maracas and language processing problem!! (ha!)
How is writing for you? That is a different part of the brain. Maybe make some notes for your p-doc appt. Going off meds is tricky business. Your brain takes a while to adjust, but everyone's different as to time.
I wish you the best of luck sweetie! Hang in there and keep trying to do what is best for you & your kids. Little baby steps are fine, you know! We're here for you and we care. Never forget, YOU ARE WORTH IT - even on the days you feel the worst, okay?
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Thanks for everyone's concern. I don't think I've ever had so much attention directed towards me! A little disconcerting! Lol! But I think it's wonderful how strangers can all come together for a common purpose. It reminds me of when I worked on the SwissAir disaster. It didn't matter who you were or what your "rank" was.....everyone had that common goal of doing whatever was necessary. I worked in the morgue, so I got to see it all....body parts, personal belongings, and what was left of the plane as it was brought in piece by piece. It gave me hope for our little world when so many people were all coming together to look out for total strangers. And that's what you guys have all done. I mean, who the heck is Sandy, right? But you all pulled together for me. What a group!!! Gotta love ya!!
>
> And, of course I am not upset with you, Mystic. I'm glad that you all got involved. I really believe that I wouldn't be here if not for the interference. Am I EVER glad that I posted to the board. Now I just have to take it day by day. I feel a little stronger for having made it past my birthday. WooHoo!!!! *smile*
>
> All that being said, I'm still having a heck of a time with my brain! Lol! It seems to be getting worse. My daughter just laughed at me tonight and said that I was so confused. No kidding!! I get lost, I forget where I'm going or even why I'm going there, I feel nauseous, my head won't stop with the maracas, and I still can't understand what is being said and I quite frequently will begin to say something but I can't get through the darn sentence....so I just garble the rest. My brain is freaking me out! Lol! I am so dizzy, and I just want to make it stop!!! Argh!!
>
> Time and patience, right? I'm just scared that if it keeps up, I'm going to have to go back into the hospital because I can't function properly!!!! As much as I enjoyed the great people who work there, I do NOT want to return as a patient. I have an appointment with a pdoc on Wednesday. I'm hoping I can converse properly with him. I don't want him to make me go back in. So I'm just waiting it out, and hoping that my poor ole brain will clear up by Wednesday afternoon. Maybe I'll be my old self by then.
>
> Has anyone else gone through this?? If you have, could you share with us your experience? How long does it take for the brain to adjust to being med free???
>
> Love you guys! And Dr. Bob....you rock!!! *big hug*
>
> Smiles,
>
> Sandy
>
Posted by SandyWeb on April 12, 2004, at 11:14:34
In reply to RE:: Sandy » SandyWeb, posted by EmmyS on April 12, 2004, at 10:21:36
Hi Emmy,
For one thing, I didn't lie to the porfessionals while in the hospital. I *did* tell them about the sounds in my head....but they just smiled at me....so I didn't mention it again. And the sounds in my head are what are causing the dizziness and loss of balance. And as for talking with them, they got a heck of a lot out of me! I told them things that I haven't told a soul, although it was like "pulling teeth" they said. I'm just a very private person. And they *did* find out what my buttons were, and they pushed them without remorse to get me to cry. That's always fun. Lol.Believe me, they could obviously tell that I wasn't well. But they also knew that I was not the type of person to sit down and talk and talk about things. They needed to find the right way to work with me, and they were doing that.
As for "acting".....I've "acted" all my life. I will NOT show you how I'm feeling. I cover up my tears, my sadness, my insecurities......and I don't think that is something these people would have been able to get me to drop my barriers in just a few days! I've been this way for years....it's my protection.....it's a very real part of who I am, and it's NOT going to just magically disappear and allow me to expose myself to these people in 7 days! I mean, I "act" with my kids....who I love very much....and if I can't allow my kids to know my true soul (and who the heck knows why), then it's going to take a whole lot longer than 7 days for me to drop my masks to strangers.
I never told them "I feel SO much better." I never told them, "I don't feel sad." They never asked about cutting, but the evidence was right in front of their eyes so why even bother asking me, right? I never said, "I don't want to die".....in fact, I told them that I did. I wasn't lieing to them, and it bothers me that you said that to me.
It's just that I improved so much the day after my birthday. And one nurse even said how much better I was because when I first came in I didn't even have any eye contact.
I was MADE to tell my sister about my personal struggle. I would NEVER have done that, and the only reason I did was to GET OUT. Yes, I should have been in there longer. Yes, I should have been on meds. Yes, I'm still not safe. But the only thing that was done to get me out was to reveal my truth to my sister. That was it. I did not lie. One pdoc said that he didn't know if I was putting on a brave face when he admitted me. I *always* put on a brave face. That's just ME.....and there was not any special acting just for the benefit of the professionals. Jeesh. I'm just very, very private.....and I do NOT share much in terms of what makes me tick. I felt safe on this board to open myself up a bit because of the anomymity. Face to face is a COMPLETELY didn't story....and the masks come on.
I was not trying to mislead....I told them what they needed to hear and a little more......but not ALL. I think I'd have to be under "truth syrum" for that to happen (HA!).....because that is just how I protect myself. It is not something that changes overnight.
I was honest with them. I didn't lie to them. I just didn't reveal ALL the truth....only what I was capable of doing. And it was enough....they KNEW I was sick. But they also thought that since meds never worked for me before, that they wouldn't work for me now. And since I'd never had therapy before, let's go that route instead.
And as for the new pdoc appointment on Wednesday, why ask if I will be honest with him?? Of course I will be. But I can assure you that I'm not going to be sitting there talking my mouth off for an hour. Ask me a question, I'll think it through, and I'll give you a short answer that covers what is necessary. I have to protect myself....for whatever reason, who knows. But I don't lie. If there is something I don't WANT to tell, I'll let the person know that I can't answer that (such as who tried to pull my head off). Of course I'll be honest. But being honest doesn't mean exposing every nerve ending I have! And as professionals, they understand that many people take time to get to know.
And as for my sister, you don't understand the dynamics of our relationship. We had been separated for all of our 20's, and now that I'm back here we've missed out on a lot of each other's lives. Regardless, there is a line that we both know not to cross. We BOTH have a line. Maybe most families don't have one. I don't know and I don't care....it's none of my concern. But my sister and I do.....and once you cross the line, there is no going back. She knows more about me now than I feel comfortable with. I do NOT want her too far inside me. And now she knows something rather too personal.....and I have a hard time with that. Yes, of course she's a support system....of course she loves me....of course she wants to help. I'm not an idiot. BUT....the way that I tick, I need to protect myself.....and I reveal only to a certain extent. I don't LIE....I don't COVER UP....I don't PRETEND something isn't happening.....but I will NOT take someone too far down the road until I can handle that. And believe me, I wasn't able to handle that type of disclosure to my sister at that time.
Okay, sorry for this message. It just hurts when I'm misunderstood.....and therein stands another reason why I do not open up very often.....I get misunderstood and that ends up hurting me. And so I've learned to keep my mouth shut about very deep issues to me.
Posted by EmmyS on April 12, 2004, at 11:28:32
In reply to RE:: Sandy » EmmyS, posted by SandyWeb on April 12, 2004, at 11:14:34
Sandy - I'm sorry if I misunderstood you. I am pretty sure you said you should get an Academy Award for your acting while in the hospital I thought that meant you weren't being honest about your feelings while you were there. I apologize for my misinterpretation. It's hard to understand what people mean when all we have are written words sometimes.
I was just kidding about the lie detector AND chinese water torture! Neither were meant to offend you.
Sandy - I'm just trying to help. NOT trying to offend. But I'm still very glad you are here and posting! Getting emotions out in any form is still very healthy.
Emmy
Posted by SandyWeb on April 12, 2004, at 11:29:22
In reply to RE:: Sandy » SandyWeb, posted by EmmyS on April 12, 2004, at 10:21:36
And what the heck do you mean by, "I'd never do that to my kids"?? I wouldn't EVER do anything to them. I took them away from crap, and I've protected them the best I could!!
They knew NOTHING about what has been happening with me. The police even spent time with them until my sister showed up, and the kids didn't know anything had been wrong with mommy. I do NOT expose my problems to others.....except this board, and maybe even THAT was a mistake!
But I do NOT want to hear anything about my kids again. You don't have the RIGHT to make inferences like that!! I may not protect myself very well, but you'd better not be saying that I would do something to my kids! My whole existence revolved around making a better life for them. "I never do that to my kids"?? What exactly were you saying? Why did you place that in my LYING category???
Carly and I went for a nice walk last night, and then for another one today. I got my hair cut while we were out walking today. I was feeling better. But then I come home and read something that just makes me want to CRY. And I knOW that I shouldn't get upset by a faceless stranger on the internet.....but guess what?? One of my probelsm is that I get hurt very, very easily. And I feel like I've been attacked.
Sorry.
Posted by LynneDa on April 12, 2004, at 11:30:47
In reply to RE:: Sandy » EmmyS, posted by SandyWeb on April 12, 2004, at 11:14:34
Hi! I hate being misunderstood/misinterpreted more than anything too - one of my biggest "pet peeves", but it has the opposite effect on me - I talk and reveal more (too much) to try and clear it up :-).
Just an idea for your p-doc appt. Maybe print out all your posts. You're pretty lucid and very articulate in them. It may be easier than having to re-hash everything!
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Posted by SandyWeb on April 12, 2004, at 11:32:48
In reply to RE:: Sandy » SandyWeb, posted by EmmyS on April 12, 2004, at 11:28:32
Emmy,
"I am pretty sure you said you should get an Academy Award for your acting while in the hospital I thought that meant you weren't being honest about your feelings while you were there."
I meant I should get the award for not allowing them to break me. They had me on the edge many times.....and it takes a LOT to make me cry in front of someone. I will fight it to the end. So they finally found what my buttons were to make me cry.....which turns out to be my kids.
Posted by SandyWeb on April 12, 2004, at 11:36:17
In reply to RE:: Sandy - idea » SandyWeb, posted by LynneDa on April 12, 2004, at 11:30:47
Hi Lynne,
I actually had thought about that idea. This morning, before Carly and I went walking, I made a page of notes of what I wanted the pdoc to know. The only thing I'm concerned about it is that I may be telling too much, and he's going to have me admitted. Yikes!
And, yes, I don't seem to have much trouble when it comes to writing things down. But get me talking right now, and I'm from another planet!! Hee hee!
Hugs,
Sandy
Posted by SandyWeb on April 12, 2004, at 11:39:26
In reply to RE:: Sandy » SandyWeb, posted by EmmyS on April 12, 2004, at 11:28:32
Emmy,
Sorry for ranting. You just rather hit a few tender spots, and I'm not in the most stable of conditions right now. Lol!
Thanks for being concerned. I know that you're just trying to help. Why else would you post? I appreciate the concern. I'm sorry that I over-reacted. *sigh* I'll be sooo glad when this is all over.
Take care,
Sandy
Posted by EmmyS on April 12, 2004, at 11:43:16
In reply to RE:: Sandy » EmmyS, posted by SandyWeb on April 12, 2004, at 11:29:22
Sandy - WOW. The quotes I was using also included references to cutting, and hearing voices. These are some of the issues I face at the hospital where I work. Not all those quotes had to do with you. They were just examples, see?
I NEVER thought you'd harm your children. The idea of "I'd never do that do my kids" would refer to suicide, not to physically harming children.
I'm just going to butt out since I don't seem to be able to get my points across very well.
Again, Sandy I'm very sorry that we have very clearly misunderstood each others intentions here.
Emmy
Posted by SandyWeb on April 12, 2004, at 11:49:27
In reply to RE:: Sandy *trigger*, posted by EmmyS on April 12, 2004, at 11:43:16
Emmy,
It's okay. You don't have to butt out. I just over-reacted. Must be that time of month, eh?
As for the quotes you used about cutting and voices.....well, I can't remember how much I've actually posted on here, but those are two things that HAVE been part of this whole ordeal with me. So I thought you were just throwing these things back at me. Sorry. I should check to see what I've actually posted. I may have even mentioned my bra size, for all I know!! *big grin*
You don't have anything to apologize for, Emmy. Sometimes things like this happen on the internet. And I'm not the best person to expect to have a rational conversation with at this exact moment! Lol!! But thanks for trying!!! Hee hee!
Take care,
Sandy
Posted by LynneDa on April 12, 2004, at 11:53:37
In reply to RE:: Sandy - idea » LynneDa, posted by SandyWeb on April 12, 2004, at 11:36:17
Sandy -
You must be feeling somewhat better if you got your hair cut - I can remember days of going to work with yucky hair and no make-up . . . but at least I got there I guess :-). I've been on Lex for about 5 months and I still have brainAnyway - in terms of revealing all to your pdoc - why don't you pick the main 2 or 3 things YOU feel you need to work on to get stable and see what he says about that. Then go from there, according to how comfortable you are. I always try to limit my sessions to just a couple of issues - if I don't I almost get overstimulated with all the stuff she tries to tell me :-)
I'm just curious, are you not wanting to take meds anymore or just can't get the right mix (I can't remember from your earlier posts)?
Take care and keep taking those walks with Carly! Kids are what keep us going forward when times are tough, aren't they?!? My daughter's Dad absolutely would not be here anymore if not for her!
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Hi Lynne,
>
> I actually had thought about that idea. This morning, before Carly and I went walking, I made a page of notes of what I wanted the pdoc to know. The only thing I'm concerned about it is that I may be telling too much, and he's going to have me admitted. Yikes!
>
> And, yes, I don't seem to have much trouble when it comes to writing things down. But get me talking right now, and I'm from another planet!! Hee hee!
>
> Hugs,
> Sandy
>
Posted by sexylexy on April 12, 2004, at 19:22:34
In reply to Re: Congratulations Sandy » SandyWeb, posted by LynneDa on April 8, 2004, at 15:21:31
Sandy,
I am so glad you went inpatient. Congrats, you sound so much better!
God Bless,
Lexy
Posted by SandyWeb on April 13, 2004, at 8:51:22
In reply to RE:: Sandy - idea » SandyWeb, posted by LynneDa on April 12, 2004, at 11:53:37
Hi Lynne,
"You must be feeling somewhat better if you got your hair cut"
Nope. It's just that I hacked my hair with a pair of scissors, and let me tell you....I'll never pass the Beauty Dresser's Exam! Lol! Anyways, I went to a professional and got it cut SHORT....now I don't have to think about it anymore.
"I'm just curious, are you not wanting to take meds anymore or just can't get the right mix (I can't remember from your earlier posts)?"
I quit the meds because, being that I was suicidal, they obviously weren't working. I just can't stand medications anymore. I don't want to see another pill in my life.
"Take care and keep taking those walks with Carly."
Hmmm....the walks seem to get me in trouble. Lol! When we took our evening walk, I decided that it would be neat to walk over the bridge that spans our harbor. I'd never done that before, only crossed in vehicles. So we took it real slow....feeling the bridge swaying, looking over into the water, watching the sun set, looking at the construction of this huge bridge, etc, etc. It took about an hour to cross to the other side, when it should only have taken about 20 minutes at a quick pace. Well, the bridge cops had to come after us, of course. They had been watching us on the cameras, and approached to find out if everything was okay. Guess they thought I was going to jump. Just would have ruined everyone's day, I suppose.
Anyways, haven't been doing well yesterday or today. I can't really say that I'm suicidal, but I did discover the joys of a razor blade yesterday. I've never used one before. Pain-free. Talk about a release from these darn emotions that are building up! And I can hardly stand to be around my kids now....I'm snappy. I don't know what the pdoc is going to say to me tomorrow, but it's only an assessment interview (haven't I had enough of those already???).
Anyways, just hanging on till tomorrow.
Toodles.
Sandy
Posted by LynneDa on April 13, 2004, at 10:10:08
In reply to Trigger » LynneDa, posted by SandyWeb on April 13, 2004, at 8:51:22
Hi Sandy -
Thanks for answering my questions. I'm sorry you're wanting to cut. You said it's pain free or did you mean it frees you from pain?!?! I understand about releasing the emotions though. I guess screaming and beating your pillow doesn't quite get it :-).Have you tried any natural stuff like 5-HTP or SamE? If you read on the alternative babble site you can learn all sorts of interesting things. Evening Primrose Oil even helps some women.
I have to almost laugh with your bridge story. If they only knew your recent history, they'd probably have been more worried. You sound like a good Mom though, to take the time to examine and sense the bridge the way you did with Carly. I also know you must be pretty intelligent in order to get into nursing school.
Sandy, you're not out of the woods yet are you sweetie? I hope your doc can help you put together a plan. Even if you aren't comfortable revealing all your feelings, etc., just stating the facts of your recent behaviors should be enough to give him the idea of where you're at.
I know that feeling of being on the edge of hysteria and so close to completely losing it. It's awful. Take it easy til tomorrow, okay? You've gotten this far, you are much stronger than you think . . . and you've got all of us pulling for you :-).
~ Lynne
Posted by SandyWeb on April 13, 2004, at 12:46:57
In reply to Re: Trigger » SandyWeb, posted by LynneDa on April 13, 2004, at 10:10:08
Lynne,
I'm not sure how it's done, but it's best if this thread were just closed down and erased. We appear to be the only two left on it anyways. I can't help you and you can't help me. People just go round and round in circles with me, adn it's not worth all the fuss. I'm not about to change anytime soon. I do not want to bring you all down, so let's just leave it where it stands. I know I've said this before (*big sigh*), but I've just had enough of it now....and obviously everyone else has too. I honestly don't blmae you. My goodness, you've all been trying for weeks now to "perk me up".....and it's just not happening. Brain doesn't want to be, I guess. So don't worry about it, and get on with your lives. There's more to be entertained and frustrated by than me.
Do you know that I still have a pretty little birthday bag sitting unopened on my kitchen table? It's full of little wrapped birthday presents for me. I don't even have any curiosity as to what is in them. My birthday was a week ago now. My daughter keeps wanting to either open them herself or for me to do so.....but I really don't want them. I don't know why I mentioned that. Just the habit of rambling, I guess.
Take care, Lynne. It's been fun. We're just not getting anywhere with this board, and I don't want to keep bringing everyone down....let alone boring you all to tears!
I've appreciated the companionship. Thanks for the board, Dr. Bob.
Best to you all,
Sandra
Posted by jlynne on April 13, 2004, at 13:15:02
In reply to Close the Thread, posted by SandyWeb on April 13, 2004, at 12:46:57
Sandy, what's this talk of closing the thread, sweetie. I'm sorry if I haven't been as attentive as I have been in the past - - these meds are just dragging me out. But I still think about you a lot.
We're not trying to "fix" you, love; we're just some people who care and want to share some things we have learned over the years . . . about ourselves, and about life. You can bounce things off us, or you can just cry on our shoulders, but we ["I"] want you to stay.
Your feelings are going to be going up and down a lot, so when you get in a bad spot just tell yourself "this, too, shall pass". You've come so far, sweetie . . . a lot of the pain is already behind you.
Besides, I can't wait to find out what kind of T you get.
((((stay))))
...jlynne
Posted by LynneDa on April 13, 2004, at 13:38:24
In reply to Close the Thread, posted by SandyWeb on April 13, 2004, at 12:46:57
Hey Sandra -
I understand what you're saying and I can respect that. Of course, you don't bring us down so that should not be part of your decision. If you get any measure of relief or comfort from posting, then it's worth it. If you need a break from it, that's okay too.This is the social board you know, so if you ever feel like rambling about anything else but yours or my mental health, feel free! I am good at rambling on about nothing in particular too!
Don't forget, I'm a healthcare recruiter so when you're feeling better, let me know if you want to brainstorm some options, okay?
Good luck and at least drop us a line now & then, especially if you have any great therapeutic breakthroughs :-).
~ LynneP.S. About the presents, of course you don't have any curiosity about them - you're depressed, you're not supposed to enjoy everyday pleasures (lol)!!! But, you should probably let your kids open the presents, for the sake of normalcy if nothing else :-)
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Lynne,
>
> I'm not sure how it's done, but it's best if this thread were just closed down and erased. We appear to be the only two left on it anyways. I can't help you and you can't help me. People just go round and round in circles with me, adn it's not worth all the fuss. I'm not about to change anytime soon. I do not want to bring you all down, so let's just leave it where it stands. I know I've said this before (*big sigh*), but I've just had enough of it now....and obviously everyone else has too. I honestly don't blmae you. My goodness, you've all been trying for weeks now to "perk me up".....and it's just not happening. Brain doesn't want to be, I guess. So don't worry about it, and get on with your lives. There's more to be entertained and frustrated by than me.
>
> Do you know that I still have a pretty little birthday bag sitting unopened on my kitchen table? It's full of little wrapped birthday presents for me. I don't even have any curiosity as to what is in them. My birthday was a week ago now. My daughter keeps wanting to either open them herself or for me to do so.....but I really don't want them. I don't know why I mentioned that. Just the habit of rambling, I guess.
>
> Take care, Lynne. It's been fun. We're just not getting anywhere with this board, and I don't want to keep bringing everyone down....let alone boring you all to tears!
>
> I've appreciated the companionship. Thanks for the board, Dr. Bob.
>
> Best to you all,
>
> Sandra
>
Posted by SandyWeb on April 14, 2004, at 9:20:29
In reply to Re: Close the Thread » SandyWeb, posted by jlynne on April 13, 2004, at 13:15:02
I'm not going to my appointment today. I know they'd end up committing me, and I'm not going back there as a patient. I have to have my freedom. What's the worse they can do? Charge me a "missed appointment" fee?? I barely have enough to cover my other bills.
My mum keeps wanting me to email her, my sister keeps phoning or emailing me......no one will leave me alone. Switch the attention elsewhere!
They released me. They can't get me back unless I deliver myself to them. I'm not going to do that. If I want to leave, then let me leave. If I want to stay, then help me to stay. But it's my choice, and I do NOT want to lose my freedom. Democracy, right??
Ugh, I'm just a little wound tight today. I'm not going. They can't make me come in. I know I sound like a child stomping her foot, but I'm scared they'll lock the door on me!!! Just let me do it my way.
"One Last Thing" signing out! (Lol)
Sandra
Posted by LynneDa on April 14, 2004, at 9:34:59
In reply to One Last Thing, posted by SandyWeb on April 14, 2004, at 9:20:29
Hi Sandra -
I know you don't want to hear this, but GO, GO, GO!!! Please be brave and do something for yourself. Remember how at first you were mad that Dr. Bob sent the police? Well, afterwards you were grateful. Same thing here. Yes, democracy and freedom are good, but sometimes you have to give in to the need to let others care for you for a little while. We've all been there and had to do that at times, right?I'm only saying this because I care so **please** don't get offended. I wish I lived close to you cuz I'd come over, make you a nice cup of tea & we could watch a funny movie or something. Then maybe you could relax and think things through better if you were being taken care of :-).
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I'm not going to my appointment today. I know they'd end up committing me, and I'm not going back there as a patient. I have to have my freedom. What's the worse they can do? Charge me a "missed appointment" fee?? I barely have enough to cover my other bills.
>
> My mum keeps wanting me to email her, my sister keeps phoning or emailing me......no one will leave me alone. Switch the attention elsewhere!
>
> They released me. They can't get me back unless I deliver myself to them. I'm not going to do that. If I want to leave, then let me leave. If I want to stay, then help me to stay. But it's my choice, and I do NOT want to lose my freedom. Democracy, right??
>
> Ugh, I'm just a little wound tight today. I'm not going. They can't make me come in. I know I sound like a child stomping her foot, but I'm scared they'll lock the door on me!!! Just let me do it my way.
>
> "One Last Thing" signing out! (Lol)
>
> Sandra
>
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