Shown: posts 32 to 56 of 56. Go back in thread:
Posted by KimberlyDi on July 28, 2003, at 17:28:33
In reply to Re: huh » CherC68, posted by CherC68 on July 25, 2003, at 21:35:35
Honestly, Effexor-ites, I've been wondering how long it would be before DrBob would redirect us. I always tried to insert SOMETHING about a med but face it, we were becoming more Emotional Support for each other instead of sharing our experience with AD's. I think we can be friends here also, and also lurk in the other to find new recruits for our Club. We aren't an exclusive club, but I think we all bonded.
Missed you guys. I've been offline since 7/24/03 pm.
KDi in TX> After Reading the posts, it's just not the same, maybe tomorrow this section will be more inviting, but right now, just trying to get used to coming to this section is kinda - okay - it's not kinda it's very hard.
>
> Now, I have to switch back and forth trying to read everything so I can figure out where to put the relevant information or questions or whatever - dang, I should not inhaled so much peroxide today.
>
> Sorry
> =(
> Cher
Posted by KimberlyDi on July 28, 2003, at 17:47:16
In reply to Re: I'm Sorry, posted by CherC68 on July 26, 2003, at 21:09:58
Cher,
Glad you were here first to break the ice. Kindof like switching schools in midyear, yanno? It's new, it's change (change is BAD to my "creature of habit" way of thinking). I developed a comfort level in Psycho-B. I think we ought to keep Effexor Club in the Subject Line over here. Not to exclude anyone in Social-B but to make it easier for the others to find it. I refuse to let this support group get divided and conquered by depression and confusion. Oh, by the way, I'm up to 300mg a day now, and I've lost another therapist due to Ietria shutting down it's Mental Health area. "Not profitable enough"
Grrrrr. Hope you are doing fine.
KDi in Texas
Posted by CherC68 on July 28, 2003, at 18:16:55
In reply to Cher! Yankeegirl! Found y'all. hi to social b! » CherC68, posted by KimberlyDi on July 28, 2003, at 17:28:33
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH - KimberlyDi is back in Town. We missed you. We are right now emailing back and forth to each other. I will write more later as dinner is almost ready. I'm sure you gathered by reading through the posts that the pooop has hit the fan - so to speak.
Missed you so very much as well as the other girls. We're missing Willie too. I think we will end up coming here, I check daily, but I've been thinking about you.
If you want on our email list - CherC68@aol.com please write to me. The girls are anxious cause they haven't heard from you lately.
Biggest and Warmest Hugs Kim,
Love,
Cher
Posted by CherC68 on July 28, 2003, at 18:17:35
In reply to Cher! Yankeegirl! Found y'all. hi to social b! » CherC68, posted by KimberlyDi on July 28, 2003, at 17:28:33
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH - KimberlyDi is back in Town. We missed you. We are right now emailing back and forth to each other. I will write more later as dinner is almost ready. I'm sure you gathered by reading through the posts that the pooop has hit the fan - so to speak.
Missed you so very much as well as the other girls. We're missing Willie too. I think we will end up coming here, I check daily, but I've been thinking about you.
If you want on our email list - CherC68@aol.com please write to me. The girls are anxious cause they haven't heard from you lately.
Biggest and Warmest Hugs Kim,
Love,
Cher
Posted by CherC68 on July 28, 2003, at 18:18:21
In reply to Cher! Yankeegirl! Found y'all. hi to social b! » CherC68, posted by KimberlyDi on July 28, 2003, at 17:28:33
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH - KimberlyDi is back in Town. We missed you. We are right now emailing back and forth to each other. I will write more later as dinner is almost ready. I'm sure you gathered by reading through the posts that the pooop has hit the fan - so to speak.
Missed you so very much as well as the other girls. We're missing Willie too. I think we will end up coming here, I check daily, but I've been thinking about you.
If you want on our email list - CherC68@aol.com please write to me. The girls are anxious cause they haven't heard from you lately.
Biggest and Warmest Hugs Kim,
Love,
Cher
Posted by CherC68 on July 28, 2003, at 19:20:50
In reply to Effexor Club, There's the Cher we know love » CherC68, posted by KimberlyDi on July 28, 2003, at 17:47:16
Dear KDi and everyone,
Sorry about the above three posts - I almost made it 4 - it kept saying website not responding and I couldn't make it work - but it worked all right!
KDi, You are not losing us at all, and I will join you here so you are not lonley, Yankee will probably join, but we are now in email=mania right now.
Rundown - Susy, Zinya, Mercedes, Yankee, Daph & Nyia and I have been emailing back and forth. Just email me if you want on our email list, and I can give you a quick synopsis of what's up.
We sort have been spraying Bactine and Neosporan and Curad bandaids and healing kisses on each others wounds we received during the transition.
I wonder what exactly it is called the medical terminology or psychological terminology that caused us such upheaval or rejection like qualities on having our posts redirected.
I am understanding it a bit more, and I think the others are understanding it too, but there are still hurt feelings.
There are other issues on why some are not posting yet, trust is a big part of it and the realization that - we are putting our personal lives on line in front of anyone that can figure out our sign on names and search google.
I'm pretty much the pathetic loser of the bunch in this regard. My screen name on aol and email is the same as my name on here. Can you say dumb ass please? Someone pointed it out and I guess I was in denial.
Let's say my insurance company (which has my friggin' email address) does a search of it) guess how many hits they would get? Maybe a few regarding my cousin's band [insert plug here - EAT A PEACH] lol and then....you guessed it - here - Dr. Bob & the Effexor Club. Guess insurance rates could skyrocket huh.
I'm still going on here right now, taking my chances, but future bosses, if I wanted to adopt a baby - all of them can do a search on good ole me with my current screen name and walla - find out....that I'm one crazy broad!
Again, let me know if you want on the list - and I'm sure the others will be coming back.
If anyone sees Willie - give a big hug for me and my email address CherC68@aol.com.
okay - Now to KDi - How is the 300 level doing? What se's are you having now. Are you having anger problems with it or are you sleeping more or is the adrenalin thing way up there now? I keep thinking about going back on it - but...the zaps were way too much for my tiny brain to handle.
I'm sorry about the loss of another Therapist. I still haven't gotten one yet, but I'm going to do it. I need it desperately. I probably won't do the PDoc thing, seeing as I probably won't take the medicine anyhow.
Love,
Cher
Posted by zinya on July 28, 2003, at 21:12:21
In reply to Effexor Club, There's the Cher we know love » CherC68, posted by KimberlyDi on July 28, 2003, at 17:47:16
Kim!!
welcome back! we missed you!! i know Cher has written you already... When this all suddenly got upended on Friday night and our posts were getting redirected all over the place, i left you and Willie a post on our old site to tell you how to find us, but i don't know if that post is even still here... If you feel like 'catching up' and you've gotten the drift of how this site works, on the "master page" at the top you'd have to enter the archived posts for the week of 7/19 (seems that each Saturday that shelve the previous week's posts and start over ... It's very different the way it works here. And indeed it caught us so off guard and RIGHT in the middle of an intense thread of personal sharings, having no idea we weren't supposed to be doing that ... so we just found each other by e-mail and have written like crazy over the weekend (well, i sort of) ... Anyway, we'd love to have you write to Cher's address and join us if you're interested, as an alternative, regardless of what we wind up doing ... In any event we can no longer have a one-site-serves-all kind of place for dealing with our meds and "issues" too ...
Gosh you went to 300! and i went to 150! i'm dying to hear... I'll also go back to Eff and see if you've posted there...
again, welcome back!
zinya> Cher,
> Glad you were here first to break the ice. Kindof like switching schools in midyear, yanno? It's new, it's change (change is BAD to my "creature of habit" way of thinking). I developed a comfort level in Psycho-B. I think we ought to keep Effexor Club in the Subject Line over here. Not to exclude anyone in Social-B but to make it easier for the others to find it. I refuse to let this support group get divided and conquered by depression and confusion. Oh, by the way, I'm up to 300mg a day now, and I've lost another therapist due to Ietria shutting down it's Mental Health area. "Not profitable enough"
> Grrrrr. Hope you are doing fine.
> KDi in Texas
>
>
Posted by KimberlyDi on July 29, 2003, at 9:44:37
In reply to Re: Effexor Club » KimberlyDi, posted by CherC68 on July 28, 2003, at 19:20:50
Don't feel bad about using your same email address name for your Psycho-Bab name. Look at my name. Di is short for my middle name "Diane". DUH! DOH!
Believe me, I over-analyzed my feelings about being re-directed. I think it feels like we lost our "Club House", our Spot, our place to belong. We have to search now, to see where everyone is hanging out. When before, we had "our group's thread". And "oh no", we might post in the wrong spot and nobody will post back! We won't feel loved! "Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I'm gonna eat some worms." Why my mom taught me that ditty, I'll never know. I'm laughing at myself for being so darn needy. But I probably will change my nick to KDi in Texas here.
My Effexor increase is a pain right now because of increased SE's. I'm tired all the time. But I know from experience now to give it some time.
{{{{{{{{{hugs to Cher & everyone}}}}}}}}}
KDi in Texas
> Dear KDi and everyone,
>
> Sorry about the above three posts - I almost made it 4 - it kept saying website not responding and I couldn't make it work - but it worked all right!
>
> KDi, You are not losing us at all, and I will join you here so you are not lonley, Yankee will probably join, but we are now in email=mania right now.
>
> Rundown - Susy, Zinya, Mercedes, Yankee, Daph & Nyia and I have been emailing back and forth. Just email me if you want on our email list, and I can give you a quick synopsis of what's up.
>
> We sort have been spraying Bactine and Neosporan and Curad bandaids and healing kisses on each others wounds we received during the transition.
>
> I wonder what exactly it is called the medical terminology or psychological terminology that caused us such upheaval or rejection like qualities on having our posts redirected.
>
> I am understanding it a bit more, and I think the others are understanding it too, but there are still hurt feelings.
>
> There are other issues on why some are not posting yet, trust is a big part of it and the realization that - we are putting our personal lives on line in front of anyone that can figure out our sign on names and search google.
>
> I'm pretty much the pathetic loser of the bunch in this regard. My screen name on aol and email is the same as my name on here. Can you say dumb ass please? Someone pointed it out and I guess I was in denial.
>
> Let's say my insurance company (which has my friggin' email address) does a search of it) guess how many hits they would get? Maybe a few regarding my cousin's band [insert plug here - EAT A PEACH] lol and then....you guessed it - here - Dr. Bob & the Effexor Club. Guess insurance rates could skyrocket huh.
>
> I'm still going on here right now, taking my chances, but future bosses, if I wanted to adopt a baby - all of them can do a search on good ole me with my current screen name and walla - find out....that I'm one crazy broad!
>
> Again, let me know if you want on the list - and I'm sure the others will be coming back.
>
> If anyone sees Willie - give a big hug for me and my email address CherC68@aol.com.
>
> okay - Now to KDi - How is the 300 level doing? What se's are you having now. Are you having anger problems with it or are you sleeping more or is the adrenalin thing way up there now? I keep thinking about going back on it - but...the zaps were way too much for my tiny brain to handle.
>
> I'm sorry about the loss of another Therapist. I still haven't gotten one yet, but I'm going to do it. I need it desperately. I probably won't do the PDoc thing, seeing as I probably won't take the medicine anyhow.
>
>
>
> Love,
> Cher
>
Posted by KimberlyDi on July 29, 2003, at 9:47:35
In reply to Re: Effexor Club » KimberlyDi, posted by zinya on July 28, 2003, at 21:12:21
Posted by willie on July 31, 2003, at 23:20:50
In reply to Pleasers w/men who are Controllers « Yankeegirl, posted by Dr. Bob on July 24, 2003, at 19:19:57
Hey guys...do you know how good it made me feel to see that you wrote that you missed me? Gave me the biggest smile, it really warmed my heart.
Well, got back from Vegas today...My body is still on Pacific time so here I sit doing laundry at midnight and trying to catch up with my buddies. Vegas was wonderful...we stayed at a resort just outside of Vegas so it was very relaxing. We did some sight seeing...saw the Hoover Dam and "The Strip"...no gambling though. That's not our thing. It was very relaxing.
I'm doing very well....we'll see what I'm like tomorrow trying to adjust to the time difference. I've got company coming for the long weekend (is it a long weekend in the US too?) so I won't be able to get on the thread very often but I'll check in whenever I can.
I actually don't mind this thread...it's a lot shorter than the other one where you had to scroll down so often just to see the latest postings.
Cher, as much as I'd love to join the private emails..my husband and I share our email address and he doesn't know that I've been posting on the web so I think I'll communicate with you guys here.
You sound much better...have you found a pdoc yet? You know I'll haunt you about that until you do (only because I care).
I've missed all of you too...I can't wait to hear how everyone's been doing. I'll try to get on the thread again tomorrow but if not, I'll check in on Tuesday.
Take care everyone...talk to you soon
Wille
Posted by zinya on August 2, 2003, at 13:38:51
In reply to Re: I'm Here...., posted by willie on July 31, 2003, at 23:20:50
hi willie!
It's so good to hear from you. And especially to hear that you're feeling good (albeit reserving judgment to see what jet lag leaves you with plus a weekend of company)...
When you get back here, know that we indeed missed you and felt especially bad that the upheaval here happened without being able to reach you at the time. Our posts started getting redirected right and left, some to social here, some to adminstrative (which i still haven't gone to) and a few left in Effexor. I wrote a post to you in particular on Effexor to advise you how to find us and which threads to go to to read what had happened, but i don't know where that post went .. As you may have discovered already, numerous posts here on Social which say they were sent by Dr. Bob actually contain our cumulative posts lumped together and redirected here ...
I understand your reasoning and wondered myself if others would have similar e-mail concerns but for 7 of us thus far it has been more comfortable to resume the kind of sharing which had just begun to take on a bonding kind of intensity at the moment we unwittingly got derailed (which was why it felt so disruptive and alternately wounding and angering to some precisely because it interrupted communication at some very vulnerable moments), but i do still go to Effexor to post about side effect and dosage level matters and check in here periodically.
So i will do again next week to see if you've posted again and will make a point of also posting here, especially with your being here as point of contact...
wishing you very well!
love and hugs,
zinya
Posted by alluredbit on August 3, 2003, at 19:21:54
In reply to Hi Willie, welcome home! :)) » willie, posted by zinya on August 2, 2003, at 13:38:51
Hello everyone,
I just started on Effexor regular two days ago, and I spent the last two days reading thorugh three years posting on the Anyone Had Success on EFFEXOR XR thread.. (I did not use quotation, I don't want to irritate Dr. Bob, hehe).
I must say that I spent the last days soaking up the very support and encouragment I need the most right now - just by reading the messages. I never been on AD med before although I spent the last year talking to a theraphist about it. I finally made the decision to go this way, and I was not sure what to expect. Now I think I know, and I do understand that not even the most devoted and talented therapist or doctor can ever put it in words what is said here. :)
I would like to visit this thread as often as I can (I just wish the navigation would be a little easier, but I think the framed version works good enough) because what I learned is that if I find a person or a number of people who has comparable successes and failures in regards of the results, we all will have more info to share with our doctors and with each other. The things I already learned here will help me so much when I will talk to my doctor about the progress! I am so greatful to all of you who made the effort to post, and allowed me to see what you went through all these years.
Best wishes,
Sandor
Posted by KimberlyDi on August 4, 2003, at 9:12:08
In reply to Effexor Club is a great idea, posted by alluredbit on August 3, 2003, at 19:21:54
Welcome Sandor,
There have been lots of negative posts lately about Effexor. Know that the most serious issue is withdrawal when you stop taking it. I've been on it since May 2003 and it was a lifesaver. Effexor combined with therapy kept me sane during a very stressful period in my life. The Side Effects (SE's) are annoying though.If you have problems sleeping or experience the early morning wakeups (3:00am), try Benedryl. Sometimes you can *tweak* the effectiveness of Effexor by changing the time of day you take it from morning to night, or vice versa. If Effexor isn't for you, taper off slowly.
btw, there are alot of very nice people in the "effexor club".
Good Luck!
KDi
Posted by alluredbit on August 4, 2003, at 20:31:46
In reply to Effexor Club is a great idea » alluredbit, posted by KimberlyDi on August 4, 2003, at 9:12:08
Thank Kimberly for your welcome. I am in the third day on 37 mg and I can't feel much, except some slight stomach irritation. I do hear crispy-rice popping in the back of my head, but I hear that without meds for many years now.. After five days I will up the dose to 75mg, and stay there for 6 weeks.
But how this thing works exactly? I tried to do my Tai Chi today, but I am still forcing myself. I tried anyways, I went to the big rocks at the Lake (I live near Chicago) where I used to practice years ago, but today I still hated the attention I received.
My threapist is telling me to keep trying, but it is hard when you just hate to do it as soon as someone approaches. Not the talking part that bothers me, but I feel like my privacy, my personal space is invaded. Very stupid indeed, people keep generous distance, it is a public location, they are very friendly and they don't want to annoy me.. So, when my medication works will these unreasonable feelings go away, or they always stay but I will be able to ignore the feelings? I mean how does this work based on experience, not on sales broshures or (no offence intended) from academic point of view?
In the past I never really cared for any audience, I always prefered if people don't show up to watch.. But when they did I was able to ignore anything and anybody while practicing. Now I can't, and of course, you can't practice and enjoy your art that way. Also, in the past when I stopped and they started asking questions I was already in different mindset and answering was no problem - actually, I made a few friends that way. So, my therapist is telling me that when they find a med that works I might even enjoy the attention, because he suspects that even that mild rejection was an early sign of social un-comfort. Hard to believe.
Oh, btw, I seem to be a perfect match for Effexor.. I have depression and social axinety, with all the stress-related axinety. Tai Chi was very good to me so far in managing stress related issues, until depression and the social thing slammed down on me a few years ago. I really wish meds would work, even if they turn me into a nicer person than I ever was :)
Posted by willie on August 5, 2003, at 11:27:58
In reply to Pleasers w/men who are Controllers « Yankeegirl, posted by Dr. Bob on July 24, 2003, at 19:19:57
Hey guys..man..the effexor is getting a workout today I'll tell ya. Just found out that my husband's company is in the process of being bought out so I guess we'll find out if he still has a job in the next few months once the acquisition is final. Work is crazy...we usually have 6 people in our area but currently just have the two of us due to maternity leave (we get 1 year for mat leave in Canada) and people being transfered. Can't see the light at the end of the tunnel just yet. Don't know if it's the effexor keeping me mellow or if it's due to me being tired or perhaps I've slipped into a depression and just haven't noticed it yet??? Oh well...whatever it is it's keeping me sane right now. How is everyone doing? Cher, how are you? Willie
Posted by KimberlyDi on August 6, 2003, at 11:54:37
In reply to Re: Effexor club, posted by willie on August 5, 2003, at 11:27:58
Effexor is getting a workout in my life too. Drugs can't fix everything. <sigh> I don't see the club much anymore. I hope things will work out for you!!! The economy is tough here in the states too.
Good Luck,
KDi in Texas> Hey guys..man..the effexor is getting a workout today I'll tell ya. Just found out that my husband's company is in the process of being bought out so I guess we'll find out if he still has a job in the next few months once the acquisition is final. Work is crazy...we usually have 6 people in our area but currently just have the two of us due to maternity leave (we get 1 year for mat leave in Canada) and people being transfered. Can't see the light at the end of the tunnel just yet. Don't know if it's the effexor keeping me mellow or if it's due to me being tired or perhaps I've slipped into a depression and just haven't noticed it yet??? Oh well...whatever it is it's keeping me sane right now. How is everyone doing? Cher, how are you? Willie
Posted by CherC68 on August 7, 2003, at 20:22:20
In reply to Re: I'm Here...., posted by willie on July 31, 2003, at 23:20:50
Dear Willie,
I understand about the emails and your husband. We have been doing the emails amongst ourselves, Mercedes, Zinya, Susy, Yankee, Daphnis & Nyia (crap - I am having a hard time remembering the "on-line names". I had to look them up. I know them by their first names.
I do understand and I'm sorry it's taken me so long. I've had a very very rough time lately. I've been sharing with the girls and about had a breakdown.
I'm having surgery on August 27 on my right hand for carpal tunnel and again on October 8th. I've actually gained the strength (after over 30 years) to tell my father about being molested when I was young by three different men in our neighborhood. I've never been good at sharing. I also told him about being raped when I turned 18 by two men.
My father went in for prostate biopsy and it came out negative. That same day he showed up to calk something at my house - and I just told him. I've never been good at telling people my problems, but it has helped a lot.
How are you doing? I am not taking anything. I have Xanax for really bad days, but, I try not to take any.
I've heard stuff about Paxil, so I may try that. I just got shots in my foot Tuesday and physically haven't been feeling too great. I'm hoping to start calling therapists on Monday.
Dont' know that i can do the PDoc (medicine thing) but...right now worried more about insurance, because I'm seeing a Foot Doctor and then surgery - and I went to the dentist and had old cavities removed and replaced - so I've used my insurance so much, I'm a bit apprehensive to use any more of my insurance for therapy - but I know I have to.
The beginnign of this week was almost too much to bear and I called Zinya. I've had her number since June, but....was almost besides myself and she helped. All the girls have helped in so many ways.
If you ever get a chance to get your own email account and want to email me you can at CherC68@aol.com.
I miss talking to you and I will try to keep up with the Social Babble.
I can tell you that for the occasional posts by Zinya and maybe Yankee - we will not be coming back here regularly. I will if just to check on you and KimberlyDi - but we don't feel safe on here talking. We have shared too many personal things that can come back to haunt us, and actually would have loved to stay, but the feeling for Babble isn't the same, and we don't feel comfortable here anymore.
I will still pop in to check on you and keep you posted.
Big Hugs,
Cher
Posted by KimberlyDi on August 9, 2003, at 14:05:17
In reply to Re: I'm Here....Willie » willie, posted by CherC68 on August 7, 2003, at 20:22:20
Cher!
Nice to see your post. Tell everyone I said "hi". Trying to figure out why I had an aversion to doing the email thing, I came to the conclusion that it was too personal for me. My ex-therapist told me that I have a problem with intimacy. Random posts are one thing, emails kindof require replys which equates to people having expectations and I don't deal well with those. <sigh> And I thought I was getting better.Just me and my barriers to prevent any emotional attachments.
Miss all of y'all.
KDi in Texas
> Dear Willie,
>
> I understand about the emails and your husband. We have been doing the emails amongst ourselves, Mercedes, Zinya, Susy, Yankee, Daphnis & Nyia (crap - I am having a hard time remembering the "on-line names". I had to look them up. I know them by their first names.
>
> I do understand and I'm sorry it's taken me so long. I've had a very very rough time lately. I've been sharing with the girls and about had a breakdown.
>
> I'm having surgery on August 27 on my right hand for carpal tunnel and again on October 8th. I've actually gained the strength (after over 30 years) to tell my father about being molested when I was young by three different men in our neighborhood. I've never been good at sharing. I also told him about being raped when I turned 18 by two men.
>
> My father went in for prostate biopsy and it came out negative. That same day he showed up to calk something at my house - and I just told him. I've never been good at telling people my problems, but it has helped a lot.
>
> How are you doing? I am not taking anything. I have Xanax for really bad days, but, I try not to take any.
>
> I've heard stuff about Paxil, so I may try that. I just got shots in my foot Tuesday and physically haven't been feeling too great. I'm hoping to start calling therapists on Monday.
>
> Dont' know that i can do the PDoc (medicine thing) but...right now worried more about insurance, because I'm seeing a Foot Doctor and then surgery - and I went to the dentist and had old cavities removed and replaced - so I've used my insurance so much, I'm a bit apprehensive to use any more of my insurance for therapy - but I know I have to.
>
> The beginnign of this week was almost too much to bear and I called Zinya. I've had her number since June, but....was almost besides myself and she helped. All the girls have helped in so many ways.
>
> If you ever get a chance to get your own email account and want to email me you can at CherC68@aol.com.
>
> I miss talking to you and I will try to keep up with the Social Babble.
>
> I can tell you that for the occasional posts by Zinya and maybe Yankee - we will not be coming back here regularly. I will if just to check on you and KimberlyDi - but we don't feel safe on here talking. We have shared too many personal things that can come back to haunt us, and actually would have loved to stay, but the feeling for Babble isn't the same, and we don't feel comfortable here anymore.
>
> I will still pop in to check on you and keep you posted.
>
> Big Hugs,
> Cher
Posted by CherC68 on August 9, 2003, at 16:12:09
In reply to Re: Effexor club » willie, posted by KimberlyDi on August 6, 2003, at 11:54:37
Dear Kimberly,
I understand what you mean. I have never stuck with a single thing in my life. Friends, men, jobs, clubs.
The Effexor Club - Ya Ya Sisterhood or the "Mighty Seven" as we call ourselves would be great as the Mighty Eight or Nine with you and Willie, but its so understood.
If there was a way we could have this kind of posting but have it only by "invite only" - we would do it.
I am down to 2 emails right now, but at one point had 100 emails. We are now working out the details, because some of the girls work and some don't.
Sometimes, we do feel some pressure because we don't want to miss an important email and with over 100 sometimes to go through if you miss a day, it's overwhelming.
But, right now, it is worth it. 100%. We are now working out details for the subject line - if there is something that needs to be heard asap - and if it's just a comment or a suggestion.
I cannot believe that we are still at it though, and each one of us has progressed so much. My suicidal thoughts are so far in the back of my head now. Last week, I didn't think I would be here today, and actually it wasn't suicidal thoughts, it was the past being relived through my mind to their minds, and just in the telling - made me more at peace than anything.
The following is an excerpt of a recent email I sent to the Magnificent Seven - "Effexor Club" Ladies:
----
"I will be honest here though. I too felt overwhelmed when last week I had over 100 emails. I was nervous and I thought I'd never get through them. I did. I would wake up and see I still had 81 or 90 after I know for a fact I read at least 40 the day before.Not everything has to be commented upon, the way I did it was pick one person and read their emails.
That started not working for me because I was so afraid someone was going to be so damn sad or something would be wrong with someone and I would miss it.
I just took my time. Sometimes we get busy, like you did and you were gone for a few days and XXXXXXX will be gone for a few days. Also, my hands hurt, and WE ALL HAVE OTHER THINGS TO DO.
Nobody, NOT ONE PERSON IN THIS GROUP. Expects everyone to sit here, and spend our entire day reading emails.
I was so anxious and I've never finished anything EVER IN MY LIFE - That is Borderline Personality. If you ever get a chance to read on Borderline you will see this. I AM A QUITTER. I quit everything. I get bored easily.
I was afraid I was going to quit the group because it was becoming more depressing because I was afraid of failing to respond correctly to someone's email. I was afraid I would miss someone's point. I was afriad of saying the wrong thing - or that I could not catch up.
I was afraid that I would be taking more from you all that I gave. This was my biggest fear.
You all became almost a burden on my soul because I thought I WOULD FAIL YOU ALL so miserably, that I thought I should quit the group - and write you all a small but polite email, saying I cannot continue with this group.
HOW HORRIBLE OF ME!
I need you all very much, and there may be days when I'm tense because I have so much to do and I cannot even open my bills let alone pay them, but I will stick it out here. I will be here always for you all.
Please don't feel sad xxxxxx. I really hope that I am the only person that feels this way, cause it sucks. But, with all of your help, I've reached so many milestones. I'm making it, with all your help, and I am not going anywhere.
There may be a day or two you don't hear from me - because like xxxxxxx - I may get sick, there may be times I'm on vacation. It's gonna happen, but I will be back.
Also, like with xxxxxx, I could say nothing of comfort and felt overwhelmed because I felt like I was failing her because her pain was a bit too much for me to take and I wept.
I love you guys. Please don't be overwhelmed or Sad xXXXX.
Everyone, please know I'm here and I wanted to be honest about my feelings. I love you all, but want you to know that I too get overwhelmed and there should be NO PRESSURE reading emails - but yet - my subject header is READ THIS FIRST lol - oh well. I'm an oxymoron or is it just Moron?
----
Willie & KimberlyDi,This is the best support group I have ever had in my entire life. We are all so beautiful and unique and loving. I'm the hard a** of the group, but man I do sound mushy sometimes,
I am shocked on how many similar experiences and how many unfamiliar experiences we have all had and how much we have grown, but we are willing to share with you guys if you ever need us. It's working for us.
I do owe a thanks to Dr. Bob (and Effexor & Google) because I think that's how we all arrived at Babble.
I just don't like the fact that I can be monitored or censored.
I don't like the fact that someone who may personally know me may stumble upon Babble and read personal things about me - whether it be my neighbor and enemy a past-present-future boss.
Thank you for writing Kimberly, and like I told Willie - I will check back with the postings here.
Big Hugs,
Cher
Posted by zinya on August 9, 2003, at 21:20:12
In reply to Re: Effexor club, posted by willie on August 5, 2003, at 11:27:58
hi Willie and Kim,
good to hear from both of you! i have been overloaded, way way behind in reading the e-mails we're sending offline and even more so with checking in here this week...
gosh, Willie, upheaval for your husband's work has to be a real "test" like you say... and it's impressive that you sound like you're weathering it with less than usual anxiety, and that is great! ... i hope for the best for his job and your sanity! :))
to Kim, i haven't heard back as to how you weathered that downturn after you went up to 300 mg... How goes it?
For me, it'll be 3 wks this Tues. at 150 mg. For the first 10 days, i felt zero difference energy-wise and that alone was something of a downer after having read that at 150, the noreprenephrine effects would start kicking in. I've just been told by an informed sounding source on another thread here today (a jrbecker) that in fact that's not true, that each level has its share of norep. (for energy - adrenal system effects) ... but it's a small % of each dosage (the larger % goes to serotonin effects) so i guess maybe for each indiv. it takes a while to reach a level that they feel a difference from.
Well, after some bad back problem setbacks and a 3-day headache, i "surfaced" a week ago Friday feeling better than in ages -- That one day was the best and i did a fair amount - some errands, some work and then to see Seabiscuit that night... and feeling good. I haven't had another day quite so good since then but generally still better than previously, although i feel asleep prematurely the other night, missed my dose til waking 7 hrs later, and the complications of getting back on track caused new round of nausea the next day but that passed.
The biggest single side effect problem has continued to be sweating often profusely and inordinately. Also, i started having some rashes on chest and back - Have either of you experienced that?
I think i'm sticking with 150mg for another month before budging again...
with hugs! i'd love to hear more from both of you...
zinya
Posted by willie on August 11, 2003, at 6:57:18
In reply to Re: Effexor club, especially to Willie and KimDi » willie, posted by zinya on August 9, 2003, at 21:20:12
Hi guys..good to hear from you both. I'm glad you are all being a support to one another, we miss you all but we understand the privacy issues. Should I ever get my own email address, I'll have to look you guys up. I have Cher's email address that she graciously posted for me. Things are going well with me. Really starting to think of coming off effexor though...my weight has climbed 5lbs over the past 2 weeks while on vacation. I find it's real easy to go on but the weight won't come off. I'm trying the "slim fast" thing to see if that helps any. If not, then I'll most likely try to come off some time in October pending what happens with my husband's job. We're going to Florida in October with some friends so I want to stay on the effexor for that. I'd like to have a "anxiety free" vacation even if it may be the last time. This weight thing is just too much for me.
Anyways...got to get to work..take care and say hi to everyone for me....Willie
Posted by KimberlyDi on August 13, 2003, at 16:28:30
In reply to Re: Effexor club, especially to Willie and KimDi » willie, posted by zinya on August 9, 2003, at 21:20:12
I'm adjusting well to the 300mg a day. My insurance isn't. It will only cover up to 200mg a day, so the increase is on my dollar. I'll have to conspire with my p-doc to find something generic that works well enough with Effexor for me to keep the Effexor down to 200mg.
I need over 200mg for anxiety. I'm also experiencing some depression. That could be situational and not because the AD isn't working. I cry so much easier now. Yelled at my husband while we were on vacation to quit b*tch'in at me about everything because I wanted to actually enjoy the vacation.
Some assertiveness from me is a welcome change.
Zinya,
No, I haven't experienced any rashes but I've wondered if Effexor interfers with my body's ability to heal. I have a few small bumps, like mosquito bites, only more painful. Or maybe they are spider bites and that would explain my difficulties with them. Hope your rash goes away.:)
KDi in Texas
> hi Willie and Kim,
>
> good to hear from both of you! i have been overloaded, way way behind in reading the e-mails we're sending offline and even more so with checking in here this week...
>
> gosh, Willie, upheaval for your husband's work has to be a real "test" like you say... and it's impressive that you sound like you're weathering it with less than usual anxiety, and that is great! ... i hope for the best for his job and your sanity! :))
>
> to Kim, i haven't heard back as to how you weathered that downturn after you went up to 300 mg... How goes it?
>
> For me, it'll be 3 wks this Tues. at 150 mg. For the first 10 days, i felt zero difference energy-wise and that alone was something of a downer after having read that at 150, the noreprenephrine effects would start kicking in. I've just been told by an informed sounding source on another thread here today (a jrbecker) that in fact that's not true, that each level has its share of norep. (for energy - adrenal system effects) ... but it's a small % of each dosage (the larger % goes to serotonin effects) so i guess maybe for each indiv. it takes a while to reach a level that they feel a difference from.
>
> Well, after some bad back problem setbacks and a 3-day headache, i "surfaced" a week ago Friday feeling better than in ages -- That one day was the best and i did a fair amount - some errands, some work and then to see Seabiscuit that night... and feeling good. I haven't had another day quite so good since then but generally still better than previously, although i feel asleep prematurely the other night, missed my dose til waking 7 hrs later, and the complications of getting back on track caused new round of nausea the next day but that passed.
>
> The biggest single side effect problem has continued to be sweating often profusely and inordinately. Also, i started having some rashes on chest and back - Have either of you experienced that?
>
> I think i'm sticking with 150mg for another month before budging again...
>
> with hugs! i'd love to hear more from both of you...
> zinya
Posted by zinya on August 16, 2003, at 16:42:47
In reply to Re: Hey Zinya, Cher, posted by willie on August 11, 2003, at 6:57:18
Hi Willie!
I *do* understand about the e-mail privacy thing - it was kind of surprising actually that the group who were here at the time of the "explosion" were all so amenable to the e-mail circle... I'm sure if the two of you had been here at the time, we would have made a different decision immediately that would work for you too. Cher has mentioned to all of us that Kim mentioned another alternative and maybe that's what we'll all do... We have gotten kind of settled in to the e-mail circle but almost all of us have already said we'd make the switch too to rejoin you and Kim but a couple of us are gone right now so it hasn't been circulated as an idea yet to everyone...
As to your weight gain issue, I sure do identify. Do I recall correctly that you're on a fairly low dose?
As you already know from reading here, everyone is absolutely unique in how they react. But, just for what it's worth, here's my weight story on Effexor.
First of all, last fall, after losing my mom, i put on 10 pounds in like Oct and Nov. I knew it was adding to my depression cuz it was reducing the number of clothes i could feel comfortable in and my everyday jeans now felt tight all the time, but every effort to take the weight off failed and i stayed in the 8-12 extra pounds range (over my best 'normal' weight, not over my lowest weight - i was just trying to get back to a reasonable median weight for me) ...
Well, when i started Effexor finally in late May after despairing that any other things (like daily exercise or quitting alcohol) were enough to reduce depression, what happened first for me was that my appetite dropped (with a kind of dry mouth, drinking more water but eating less) and yet those same 10 lbs just stayed on and wouldn't leave ... Which told me that i must be one of the 'weight-GAINERS' from Effexor (having read of people hear who both gain and lose on it) ... I started at 18.75 mg and worked up REALLY slowly, as you may recall, and it took me 2 mo. before i got up to 150 mg (with the one S-E that almost made me quit being the inordinate sweating) .. but i kept going cuz i was under impression that the norepinephrine effects kick in at 150 mg and that was my md's main reason for choosing Effexor, to help my adrenalin levels that are so low and having no energy.
Well, when i got to 150 i was in for a HUGE disappointment, cuz it felt no different at all for the first two weeks and then i really considered quitting. But just then, on Aug. 1, after 10 days at 150 mg, unlike others who had a sudden burst of energy at 150, for me i felt nothing for 10 days any different and then, after some back pains etc went away on Aug 1 i woke up to something different - not earthshaking but different.
And lo and behold, since Aug. 1, i've lost about 8 of the 10 lbs i'd gained. !?!? I have NO idea how to explain ANY of this. And in the interim a guy on another thread named jrbecker, i think, started posting and responding to me about Effexor for energy, and he said that actually there's nothing magical about 150 mg. It's just that the adrenal effects are a small % of the total Effexor effects, i think it's like 80% of each pill is SSRI - for serotonin - and 20% (or even less) is for norep./adrenal energy effects. So it takes each body a different amount to get to a place where that 20% is enough to start being processed well by the body. And that's related to metabolism and thus to weight levels, it would seem. (I'm adding on to what he said here - he wasn't talking about weight effects but this makes sense to me that it just took my body that long before i started getting a better metabolism again and then losing weight.
Now, if your md. never intends for you to go to a higher level, then indeed it's possible you won't get to what MIGHT prove to be a weight-losing level of the drug... I'd talk to him/her about it from this standpoint.
wishing you good luck with the kind of resilience and hard decisions we all have to make and keep making daily on how to manage our bodies!! and minds!!
big hugs to you,
carolinap.s. Not sure exactly where in Canada you are - did you get hit by the blackout??
Posted by zinya on August 16, 2003, at 16:56:01
In reply to Effexor Club: everyone » zinya, posted by KimberlyDi on August 13, 2003, at 16:28:30
hi Kim! (and a p.s. to Willie)
good to hear from you! boy, i hear you about costs! I was stunned to discover that if you go up to 300 XR, it's twice as expensive as 150 XR (I've GOT to get enough energy to get myself some insurance again!!) but hearing you say that even insurance has an upper limit dosage it will cover is important to realize too.
Do you have Blue Shield by any chance? That's what i'm probably going for.
It seems possible that even these issues could be adding to some degree of depression - to know that Effexor which you've liked is going to have to be combined with something else...
Gosh, it's amazing how differently we each react. I cry a lot LESS easily on Effexor, although i do still cry - i had started to wonder at one point if i was going to be like the ones who say they feel NOTHING on Effexor and like zombies... I think for me i'm sort of okay crying-wise. I haven't dried up entirely but there have been a couple of times i was surprised that something didn't find me crying and i almost wished i were ... But then other times i do. And that is something that seems kind of "normal" (not that i believe in such a thing as 'normal')...
If you've been typically deferential, then your assertiveness would be something to appreciate it seems. The trick probably comes in finding the ways to release it before it builds up, which is a struggle for all of us.
Does your husband understand what you're going through and what you're taking? And, if so, does he tend to "monitor" you or give you unsolicited "feedback" on changes he sees in you? That could be tricky to deal with too...
But to costs, it's outrageous that a drug that's been out as long as Effexor isn't generic already. SUCH ripoffs which this administration has encouraged by extending pharmacy copyrights MORE years when they should have become generic already... aaargh.
good vibe wishes and hugs,
zinya (yikes, i just realized i think i signed off the previous post i just sent to Willie with my other, e-mail name and not "zinya" :)) -- i've gotten too used to e-mail again i think :)) so Willie if you are confused as to who signed off on the previous post, it's me, zinya :))
Posted by willie on August 19, 2003, at 7:01:17
In reply to Pleasers w/men who are Controllers « Yankeegirl, posted by Dr. Bob on July 24, 2003, at 19:19:57
Hi Zinya....thanks for clarifying the email name. I had no idea who was talking to me, just thought it was another person hooking up with us.
Yes I did get caught in the blackout on Thursday. It sure makes you realize what you take for granted. My husband and I had to dig through our wallets for change to go and get ice for our coolers to keep food fresh. We never carry any money on us, just use our debit/credit cards which of course were useless. It was quite the experience, quite un-nerving if you know what I mean. At first I thought it was just a city blackout due to an accident but when I found out that Toronto also had no power I began to get nervous. My husband then called me to let me know that there was no power from Detroit to New York...your first thought was it was a Terrorist attack on a power station. It's wierd not really knowing what's going on.
On Friday we had power but were sent home from work, only essential employess stayed. My husband and I went to Walmart and it was crazy. People buying batteries, water, etc. The line ups were really long. The grocery stores were pretty bare..hardly any meat or produce.
We had rolling blackouts throughout the weekend but so far this week we seem to be okay. Businesses are told to cut back on power usage. They are saying the real test will be Wednesday and Thursday as our temperature climbs up to 90 degress with the humidity making it feel more like over 100 degrees.
I'm glad to hear that you guys may come back to the string. Sure do miss you all.
Take care and give my best to everyone,
Willie
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