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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by shar on February 21, 2003, at 13:12:46
I really like this quote I came across, and this is how it was punctuated, but it seems still wanting to me:
"As you work, work for the working rather than for the fruits of the work and it becomes art and connection with the essence of being."
Any ideas?
Shar
Posted by beardedlady on February 21, 2003, at 14:20:46
In reply to In need of punctuation, posted by shar on February 21, 2003, at 13:12:46
> "As you work, work for the working rather than for the fruits of the work and it becomes art and connection with the essence of being."
> Any ideas?I think the idea behind the quote is good, but I'm not a fan of the arrangement. The punctuation isn't correct, actually, as the comma before the "and" (mandatory when connecting two independent clauses with a coordination conjunction) is missing. I'd add one after "rather," too.
"As you work, work for the working, rather than the fruits of the work, and it becomes art and connection with the essence of being."
But I think the whole thing needs a major rewrite!
A quick rearrangement: When you work for work's sake, rather than for its fruits, work becomes art and connects with the essence of being.
?
How say you, Shar?
beardy : )>
Posted by IsoM on February 21, 2003, at 14:22:49
In reply to In need of punctuation, posted by shar on February 21, 2003, at 13:12:46
Maybe it could have -
"As you work, work for the working rather than for the fruits of the work. It becomes art and connection with the essence of being."Might be a bit of a run-on sentence but I don't think so. I like the original better than breaking it in two. I'm a bit of a grammar freak too & it is punctuated correctly.
Posted by beardedlady on February 21, 2003, at 15:40:29
In reply to seems good to me... » shar, posted by IsoM on February 21, 2003, at 14:22:49
A run-on sentence occurs when two independent clauses are linked without any punctuation. It's not really the case once "and" comes into play, since it makes one of the clauses dependent on the other.
I disagree with you about the comma. Commas are required when using "and" as a coordinating conjuction, and this sentence was missing that comma.
beardy : )>
Posted by beardedlady on February 21, 2003, at 16:06:45
In reply to seems good to me... » shar, posted by IsoM on February 21, 2003, at 14:22:49
How the hell are you? It's been a while! I hope life is grand in the new house. I don't read many posts--especially about cats, as I'm not a pussy person--even though I respond to far too many!
I hope all's well.
beardy : )>
Posted by rayww on February 21, 2003, at 16:11:40
In reply to In need of punctuation, posted by shar on February 21, 2003, at 13:12:46
Posted by IsoM on February 21, 2003, at 16:48:54
In reply to Re: seems good to me... » IsoM, posted by beardedlady on February 21, 2003, at 15:40:29
No, Beardy, I don't mind being told what a run-on sentence is, and while I'm a grammar freak, I must admit my grammar rules are a little rusty so that any reminder from someone who teaches English is quite welcome, not meaning that I may not possibly be correct as I'm Canadian and you're American, so wondering if it's possible the rules may not be quite the same from one English speaking country to another but still, thanks so much for letting me know what constitutes a run-on sentences as I thought I had problems with them, but am glad to know that I don't after all, and out of curiousity - did I put too many commas, or not enough in my sentence here?
(Would you believe that MicroSoft Word Document Tools gave my sentence a Flesch-Kincaid grade average of 12?)
Posted by rayww on February 21, 2003, at 16:55:59
In reply to Re: In need of punctuation » shar, posted by beardedlady on February 21, 2003, at 14:20:46
>
> "As you work, work for the working, rather than the fruits of the work, and it becomes art and connection with the essence of being."With a pause after every "work" does this feel too much like work, than like essense and art?
Without the comma, without the pause, art and connection with essense of being can overlay work for the working. It becomes a single breath idea, and far more motivating.
"As you work, work for the working rather than for the fruit of the work and it will become art and connect with the essence of being."
"As you work, work for the working rather than for the fruit of the work
and
it will become art and connect with the essence of being."
Posted by beardedlady on February 21, 2003, at 17:00:42
In reply to Re: check this one out :-) » beardedlady, posted by IsoM on February 21, 2003, at 16:48:54
I forgot about you being from Candadia and all! Yes, the rules could be different. In England, the period goes outside the quotation marks. Here, it goes inside. Which is it in Canada?
> (Would you believe that MicroSoft Word Document Tools gave my sentence a Flesch-Kincaid grade average of 12?)
Oh, yes. Word is not only lousy at grammar (and even spelling!), but it also has that useless tool. I think it measures the lengths of your sentences and words, rather than taking into account the words you're using. It may assume that longer words and sentences amount to more complex writing.
I really don't understand how it works at all. I strive for 7th or 8th grade level. Most of the good writing I admire seems to fall around there!
(Oh, and that there was not a run-on it was just a long sentence this here sentence is a run-on.)
Posted by noa on February 22, 2003, at 11:24:45
In reply to In need of punctuation, posted by shar on February 21, 2003, at 13:12:46
I agree--nice idea, but clumsy sentence. Sounds eastern in philosophy. Maybe it was a clumsy translation?
How's this?
As you work, rather than working for the fruits of the labor, work for the working itself; it thus becomes art and connects you with the essence of being."
This is the end of the thread.
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