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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Anemone on November 19, 2010, at 19:22:32
Just confessing my sins here, because I think babblers would understand why I did this:
I have been googling my T for two years, whenever I miss her in between sessions. Never found much, just her name linked with therapy stuff.
So I was surprised last night to find out her age by clicking on one of the search results. Turns out she's only a few years older than me!
I've always wanted to believe she is a lot older, because she seems super accomplished in her career and so sure of herself in life, while I was a mess during my 20's (with eating disorders), and am now only struggling to start my dream career.
Finding out her age is like a reprimand to me, of how successful in life I should be by that age!
Now that I know she's not THAT old, I can no longer tell myself "Oh, I still have many years to catch up to her level of success in life." Nope, now that I know, I panic and regret the years I have wasted going nowhere in life.
But I don't think I can tell her. She is a very private person and rarely tells me anything about herself. I imagine she would never trust me again if she knew I googled her.
I might go consult another T (one who used to work with my T), just to get some clues about how my T might react.
Still, I should probably keep my mouth shut to prevent her from putting up a wall between us. If you have any stories to share, please post them!
Posted by emmanuel98 on November 19, 2010, at 19:44:31
In reply to Found out my T's age! Pandora's box!, posted by Anemone on November 19, 2010, at 19:22:32
My p-doc immediately told me that how old he was when I asked him. This isn't exactly confidential information. You can go to whitepages.com and find out anyone's age. I think it's so commonplace to google someone you're interested in that your T would not be the least bit surprised. This is why few T's use facebook or twitter, so that patient's don't google them and learn about their private lives. My p-doc has an unusual name and when I've googled him, all that comes up are various sites that have directories of doctors.
Posted by sassyfrancesca on November 22, 2010, at 14:49:51
In reply to Found out my T's age! Pandora's box!, posted by Anemone on November 19, 2010, at 19:22:32
Hi....well, it is only natural to be curious about ones' T. I know a lot about mine; he has a website and shared a lot about his personal life. I know his age,etc...and always bring in a birthday cake.
As for the age thing, etc......it is irrelevant..I am 64 (can't believe that) and a freshman in college; I won a scholarship because of what I wrote bout my life. I have accomplished a lot; written my memoir, a poetry book, Sanctuary of the Soul, am a member of the American Couseling Association (because of being a student), moderator of an abused survivors' group and many other things; age really doesn't matter; follow your dreams!
You could subtely ask your t how she feels about clients knowing about her personal stuff, etc...feel her out; I am sure she (like other t's) know that clients are curious about their personal lives.
Posted by pegasus on November 23, 2010, at 9:24:10
In reply to Found out my T's age! Pandora's box!, posted by Anemone on November 19, 2010, at 19:22:32
I agree with the others that Ts really should expect to be googled these days. Unless they are quite out of touch with modern life.
I've googled every T I've had, and every T I interviewed when looking for a new one. I mentioned it to most of them, and they took it in stride. Some seemed a bit surprised about what I was able to discover online about them, but not that I'd looked. Most already knew what was there, because they regularly google themselves, expecting clients to do the same.
We've had several conversations on babble over the years about whether it's OK to google one's T. Usually most folks weigh in on the side of it being OK. But almost everyone reported at least considering it. For what that's worth to you.
I see no reason to apologize for googling my Ts. In my mind, it's about information being power. They have so much info = power over me, that I feel the need to balance that by googling them. Or, alternatively, and probably a more healthy thing, I'll just ask them outright about things I want to know.
Once I actually found pictures of the inside of my Ts house, when he put his home on the market. That was a bit trippy. But inappropriate? I'm not sure. I never told him I'd found that. ;)
I also have issues with my T's age. In my case, he's a few years younger than me, which brings up anxiety for me around aging, and being seen (dismissed?) as an "old lady". Plus, I like the dynamic of having an older, wiser T. I'm sure this will all come up eventually in my sessions.
- P
Posted by Anemone on November 28, 2010, at 9:52:20
In reply to Re: Found out my T's age! Pandora's box!, posted by emmanuel98 on November 19, 2010, at 19:44:31
Thanks for sharing your experience and ideas, emmanuel98. I appreciate it a lot!
Posted by Anemone on November 28, 2010, at 9:57:32
In reply to Re: Found out my T's age! Pandora's box! » Anemone, posted by sassyfrancesca on November 22, 2010, at 14:49:51
Thank you! And congratulations on your amazing accomplishments! You are an inspiration to me that age does not matter. May you continue to have much success!
You are so lucky your T is so open with you. Every time I ask my T anything, she changes the subject and seems guarded. Sigh...
Posted by Anemone on November 28, 2010, at 11:07:39
In reply to Re: Found out my T's age! Pandora's box!, posted by pegasus on November 23, 2010, at 9:24:10
Hi Pegasus,
Thanks for sharing your issues about your T's age. I can understand your anxieties about aging and preference for a T older than you.
Also thanks for your reassurance that it is common to want to google our T's.
I have been reading some psychology thread archives here and I always enjoy reading what you post.
It's so cool that you saw pics of the inside of your T's house! I agree that T's should expect to be googled, but still I hesitate to admit I did that, because I know these are the info she wouldn't tell me. I have already asked her directly.
This is the end of the thread.
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