Posted by Anemone on November 19, 2010, at 19:22:32
Just confessing my sins here, because I think babblers would understand why I did this:
I have been googling my T for two years, whenever I miss her in between sessions. Never found much, just her name linked with therapy stuff.
So I was surprised last night to find out her age by clicking on one of the search results. Turns out she's only a few years older than me!
I've always wanted to believe she is a lot older, because she seems super accomplished in her career and so sure of herself in life, while I was a mess during my 20's (with eating disorders), and am now only struggling to start my dream career.
Finding out her age is like a reprimand to me, of how successful in life I should be by that age!
Now that I know she's not THAT old, I can no longer tell myself "Oh, I still have many years to catch up to her level of success in life." Nope, now that I know, I panic and regret the years I have wasted going nowhere in life.
But I don't think I can tell her. She is a very private person and rarely tells me anything about herself. I imagine she would never trust me again if she knew I googled her.
I might go consult another T (one who used to work with my T), just to get some clues about how my T might react.
Still, I should probably keep my mouth shut to prevent her from putting up a wall between us. If you have any stories to share, please post them!
poster:Anemone
thread:970803
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101115/msgs/970803.html