Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 933546

Shown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Thanks

Posted by Verloren on January 13, 2010, at 23:01:46

My sincerest thanks to all the babblers here who let me share my story and in return gave me insight, words of encouragement, and hugs.
And thanks for just being here and being a great community to be in. It was nice to know I was not alone.

I've been touched and am grateful for everyone here.

Take care of yourselves, ((((babblers))))

-Verloren

 

Re: Thanks

Posted by tetrix on January 13, 2010, at 23:13:03

In reply to Thanks, posted by Verloren on January 13, 2010, at 23:01:46

Verloren, I wish I could overcome the limitation of physical world and extend myself over the network and give you a warm hug and hold you.
Please feel better.
waiting for your reply

((((((((((Verloren))))))))))))

 

Re: Thanks » Verloren

Posted by obsidian on January 13, 2010, at 23:32:01

In reply to Thanks, posted by Verloren on January 13, 2010, at 23:01:46

well now, we shall be here ongoing. Be gentle with yourself now, when in pain that is best. Your post is vague, but has the ring of finality, but change always happens, even though it feels like things never will change.
Please know that, and take good care of yourself.
-sid

 

Re: Thanks

Posted by blahblahblah on January 14, 2010, at 5:50:36

In reply to Thanks, posted by Verloren on January 13, 2010, at 23:01:46

Verloren,
We are not just a community, we are a family. Please talk to someone if you need. Babble me, or go on chat, or call someone. I am very worried about your message. Thinking about you and I will stay up hoping to hear from you soon. xo

 

Re: Thanks

Posted by Roslynn on January 14, 2010, at 19:13:40

In reply to Thanks, posted by Verloren on January 13, 2010, at 23:01:46

Dear Verloren,

You are coming back, aren't you?
We need you here. I really mean it :-)

(((Hug)))

Roslynn


> My sincerest thanks to all the babblers here who let me share my story and in return gave me insight, words of encouragement, and hugs.
> And thanks for just being here and being a great community to be in. It was nice to know I was not alone.
>
> I've been touched and am grateful for everyone here.
>
> Take care of yourselves, ((((babblers))))
>
> -Verloren

 

I'm back

Posted by Verloren on January 16, 2010, at 23:14:43

In reply to Thanks, posted by Verloren on January 13, 2010, at 23:01:46

Sorry everyone. I feel bad that I made you worry. I wanted to say goodbye to you all. I didnt want to disappear without saying anything and I couldnt be sure that things were going to turn out well. I had a really rough night Wednesday. I called my Ts emergency line and was able to talk with her. She told me to go to the psych er and they kept me for a day.

Then my T told me to stay with someone and not to be at home alone. So Ive been at my cousins house so that they can watch me. Im in the intensive outpatient program now. Im supposed to work on living skills while Im at my cousins. Doing chores, laundry, organizing my old mail, etc. Also, am learning distraction techniques. Im using music as a distraction. It works for the most part. I recently heard a song though, that really hit home. Ill include it at the bottom of this post.

I dont like not being at home. I feel like Im not trusted anymore and they dont let me go anywhere by myself. I feel like a kid. I hadnt been able to get online because we were not able to pick up some of my stuff from my apt until today. I miss being at home. I feel even more irritable and moodier now. And I hate the IOP so far. Im not allowed to see my T while Im in the program and they would like me to be in it four at least 6 weeks, possibly 8. I do like some of the skills were learning but Im wondering why cant those same methods be covered by my T when we meet 1-on-1? I would feel more positive about therapy if it were as interactive as this IOP is.

Again, thanks for being there, and for continuing to be there. I really need you all (teary eyed)

-Verloren


"Someday" by Rob Thomas

You can go
You can start all over again
You can try to find a way to make another day go by
You can hide
Hold all your feelings inside
You can try to carry on when all you want to do is cry

[Chorus:]
And maybe someday
We'll figure all this out
Try to put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to make things better now and
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow
Someday

Now wait
And try to find another mistake
If you throw it all away then maybe you can change your mind
You can run
And when everything is over and done
You can shine a little light on everything around you
Man it's good to be someone

[Chorus]

And I don't want to wait
I just want to know
I just want to hear you tell me so
Give it to me straight
But, tell it to me slow

[Chorus]

Cause sometimes we don't really notice
Just how good it can get
So maybe we should start all over
Start all over again

 

Re: I'm back

Posted by Willful on January 17, 2010, at 9:48:09

In reply to I'm back, posted by Verloren on January 16, 2010, at 23:14:43

I'm sorry you won't be able to be here while you're at your cousins. It seems really unfortunate-- very very- that you've got to sacrifice some of the support network you've already got. Maybe there's some reason it's better not to see your T-- but it sounds really stressful to be away from her now-when you're making changes and trying to solidify skills--- and need all the optimism and stick-to-itiveness that you can muster.

Same with here-- you've been so open and I hope started to feel like you belong here and aren't so alone. That feeling of being alone is so hard to cope with-- even if you're meeting people and hard at work with another program. You just need the familiar people and places, too.

Is there any way you can get access more frequently to a computer, if you can't have one at your cousins? Are there hot spots anywhere or libraries that have computers available to the public. I know around here there are some places that have that.

I'm really glad though that you do have the resources, of your own and the environment to go through t his program. It could really help you so much in the future--even if it's tough right now.

And I really admire your resolve so much in going there. I dont' know if I would be take on that much change and be under the scrutiny of others-- and not my own boss. Even if it feels like you're a kid-- you're doing the most mature and responsible thing you possibly can-- working for the long term, and putting aside some of your more immediate needs. And maybe over time, your relationship with your T can evolve to be more satisfying-- and to meet more of your emotional needs.

I'll definitely miss you and look forward to your coming back. You are coming back, aren't you?

all the best,

Willful

 

Re: I'm back » Willful

Posted by Verloren on January 17, 2010, at 21:47:48

In reply to Re: I'm back, posted by Willful on January 17, 2010, at 9:48:09

Hi Willful

I am back. I have my laptop with me now and a few other personals, so it feels a little like home. (but not by much)

I've been trying to be on chat mostly and keep my attention focused.

I was supposed to help clean in the basement today but took a nap instead. Not what I was supposed to do, but it felt good at the time.

Thank you for your supportive words. I agree with what you said,

"you're doing the most mature and responsible thing you possibly can-- working for the long term, and putting aside some of your more immediate needs. And maybe over time, your relationship with your T can evolve to be more satisfying-- and to meet more of your emotional needs."

That's so true. I feel so torn having to ignore what I want and believe I need right now. I want to get "better" so fast just to get back to my T, but I don't want to end up lying to myself and just pretending to get better. I have so much worry. Will she be there when I get back, Will she have time in the schedule for me, Will something have happened to her and her demeanor has changed, Will she refer me to someone else again? I know, I'm likely worried for nothing, but that's all part of the illness; unreasonable thoughts.

Any tips on how to know if I am really improving or if I am just trying to convince myself that I am so I can get back to her sooner?

I feel so disturbed sometimes. And my cousin's kid keeps looking at me like I'm going to flip out or something any moment. I wish she would stop that. I'm not violent, I'm sad.

-Verloren


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