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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by obsidian on December 2, 2009, at 20:25:58
why is it that I am not so concerned about what is healthy, but rather I am focused generally on what reduces anxiety/what feels good?
I need to make an effort toward certain things...but I can't seem to get it together
I feel like I am a limited person. I am not somehow the person I was supposed to be.
but somehow I think I understand a lot about people, and I also know there are things I really have to learn.It's hard to be with people, they scare the crap out of me...and I am with them all-day-long.
I even have to manage being friendly when I am not feeling friendly. It's exhausting.but anyway, back to the topic of my post....
why am I going nowhere fast?
any ideas??
Posted by Sigismund on December 3, 2009, at 0:59:13
In reply to why does regression happen in therapy??, posted by obsidian on December 2, 2009, at 20:25:58
I don't know, is the short answer, and I'm not sure it always does, but it did with me and others who went to the same T, but I would be hard pressed to explain or illustrate why, and anyway, I've almost forgotten. It certainly wasn't just the blank slate, that's for sure. The impression I was given, the impression that preceded the regression (I think that's what it was) was one of a profound empathy that bypassed the needs/demands of the ego, and this was shown in the (so called, I never understood why this is the word) interpretations.
Posted by Dinah on December 3, 2009, at 7:58:08
In reply to why does regression happen in therapy??, posted by obsidian on December 2, 2009, at 20:25:58
> why is it that I am not so concerned about what is healthy, but rather I am focused generally on what reduces anxiety/what feels good?
I'm not sure that's limited to therapy. I think it's been part of my life for all my life. Not the feeling good part, but the avoiding anxiety part.
Do you think you've felt that way more since therapy?
Posted by Sigismund on December 3, 2009, at 19:46:31
In reply to Re: why does regression happen in therapy??, posted by Dinah on December 3, 2009, at 7:58:08
>> why is it that I am not so concerned about what is healthy, but rather I am focused generally on what reduces anxiety/what feels good?
Because you're completely normal :)
I mean, this is really unremarkable, if not ideal.
Posted by lingonberry on December 4, 2009, at 5:57:16
In reply to why does regression happen in therapy??, posted by obsidian on December 2, 2009, at 20:25:58
Maybe we are predisposed (inherent in us) to strive towards our true self, and by regression to dependence (if thats what you mean, Im not sure) we get a second chance to do things right, together with our T.
I think the more we trust our T the more our defences decrease and the frozen part within (the wounded child) began to make it self known. It has always been there but it has not been safe to let it out. It is safe to let it out with our T when we understand that they dont going to leave us and that they respect our needs.
My experience is when the wounded child comes out from its hiding, thats when we start to build a new sense of self we start to listen to what the wounded child has to say, what we need, are missing, feeling and thinking and how we interact with those around us. We start to feel empathy towards ourselves, take better care of ourselves and let the child within shine; we acknowledge our needs and understand that they are ok. We start to grow again, and finally become reintegrated. Just my thoughts!
> why is it that I am not so concerned about what is healthy, but rather I am focused generally on what reduces anxiety/what feels good?
>
> I need to make an effort toward certain things...but I can't seem to get it together
>
> I feel like I am a limited person. I am not somehow the person I was supposed to be.
> but somehow I think I understand a lot about people, and I also know there are things I really have to learn.
>
> It's hard to be with people, they scare the crap out of me...and I am with them all-day-long.
> I even have to manage being friendly when I am not feeling friendly. It's exhausting.
>
> but anyway, back to the topic of my post....
> why am I going nowhere fast?
> any ideas??
>
>
Posted by obsidian on December 4, 2009, at 21:40:29
In reply to Re: why does regression happen in therapy??, posted by Dinah on December 3, 2009, at 7:58:08
not since therapy, I suppose I am wondering why it is that I am not exercising my determination in general in my life
I guess I relate therapy to progress outside of therapy. I suppose the two are both related and separate though
Posted by obsidian on December 4, 2009, at 21:41:44
In reply to Re: why does regression happen in therapy??, posted by Sigismund on December 3, 2009, at 19:46:31
what is this "normal" thing you speak of?
I am not familiar with the concept.
does not compute ;-)
Posted by obsidian on December 4, 2009, at 21:43:37
In reply to Re: why does regression happen in therapy??, posted by lingonberry on December 4, 2009, at 5:57:16
thank you for that very thoughtful and optimistic post :-)
Posted by southernsky on December 16, 2009, at 11:30:35
In reply to Re: why does regression happen in therapy??, posted by lingonberry on December 4, 2009, at 5:57:16
I have to say I love what you said here Ligonberry!! This is exactly how my therapy is unfolding....
I was also confused about regression. Recently I told my T I feel like a whiney little child everytime I come to see him now...Now that I am able to trust him....he told me even before I became this childish, that the regression happens when you feel trusting with your T-when you feel comfortable enough to be able to be yourself-or to sort of come out from hiding-much like you described...
I have read some negative things about regression though, that some schools of thought totally discourage it or claim it is sometimes a defense against the realities of the therapeutic relationship.....but I see it the way you described, how my T described, and have learned so much, in such a short time, from experiencing those childlike feelings.
I think psychodynamic therapy is amazing....All those books I read over the years...all the years of therapy that shut out transference and object relations or discussions of it....nothing. Within just a few weeks of psychodynamic therapy (with the right T too) I had already learned sooo much about myself, and 100 times more now that I developed attachment feelings for him and the signficant transference feelings become so much more noticable and significant... I wouldn't expect it to work for everyone, and a person has to be really willing to take a hard, even critical look within themselves to do it...especially with being slammed with things like - wow, I never realized I've been doing this all these years...or the unpleasant parental neglect/abuse memories and feelings the T/transference brings about.
...but it's a shame it is underrated and the trend is towards CBT for all...it seems there is less access and encouragement towards psychodynamic orientations these days. I can see where CBT would be helpful and that some prefer it, but it seems like it is being pushed for all. I am sooooo lucky to have found T and to have access to this type of therapy now.
Sometimes it does feel like magic. Thanks for your post =)
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