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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Tabitha on November 21, 2008, at 3:59:30
I hate that I'm awake this late, feeling stressed and hormonal and moodswingy. I have conflicts with my boss and a coworker right now. Confronted them today and naturally I didn't do it the calm, delicate way my therapist advised. I kind of dumped on my boss. We're pretty close, so it's hard to put the brakes on when I start ranting to him. My behavior wasn't awful, but I've been having a huge shame attack ever since. It is *not ok* for me to make waves in important relationships, says my inner critic. Vehemently.
I hate that it's sooo hard for me to deal with conflict openly. I hate that it's sooo threatening to my equilibrium to be assertive. I hate that I don't notice I object to things til after the fact. I hate that I let my anger build until it spills out into sarcasm and rants. I hate how freakin hard it is to just understand my own feelings and figure out how to act in the world.
Left a message on T's machine just to reach out, not expecting a callback. I hate that my 'safe place' at that moment was just an answering machine.
I'm cycling between anger, tears, wild optimism, and terrible compassion for all humans (except possibly me).
As they say "I feel like I'm dying"
Posted by Partlycloudy on November 21, 2008, at 7:05:18
In reply to Can a person just melt into a puddle from stress?, posted by Tabitha on November 21, 2008, at 3:59:30
Aw, Tabitha, as they say - I can Feel Your Pain. My sage advice is to not fight this right now, because you're just gonna feel worse than before. You're in a sucky place AND you're blaming yourself for not being able to behave better, master your emotions, and coolly let off steam as you would most like to. Instead, it comes out all messy and public and we feel embarrassed (that how I end up feeling, anyway).
You said something pretty important, though: "I hate that I don't notice I object to things til after the fact." This is something that I've been working on for the last year and have been talking about a bit on the boards here. Trying to bring my reaction to upsetting things a little bit closer to the actual event. It's a goal, and not something I'm able to achieve overnight - but it definitely helps to bring me more in touch with my emotions and less at odds with them.
For now, the practice is simply to notice what you're feeling, and not to change it, and definitely not to judge it, as tempting as that may be. You're feeling rotten and unhappy with your "work face" - for now just sit with that feeling.
take care
pc
Posted by Phillipa on November 21, 2008, at 12:50:33
In reply to Re: Can a person just melt into a puddle from stre » Tabitha, posted by Partlycloudy on November 21, 2008, at 7:05:18
Very difficult for me to remain calm and cool although may not yell and act out it's inside my body and eating at me. I swallowed so much so to speak when nursing rules that it finally got me. Knocked me down. So work with your T on this as sounds like you are. And good luck to you. My thoughts are with you. Boy you must be so tired today. Love Phillipa
Posted by Tabitha on November 21, 2008, at 13:11:18
In reply to Re: Can a person just melt into a puddle from stre » Tabitha, posted by Partlycloudy on November 21, 2008, at 7:05:18
You know, I think I did notice most of these things bothered me when they happened, but I was telling myself there was nothing I could do, or maybe I didn't deserve better treatment, or something. Or I just didn't want to break the "harmony" of the group by asserting myself.
Now I just want to leave the company. It seems I've let it get too bad for too long. I don't think I can recover. I don't want to fight the battles.
Posted by Dinah on November 21, 2008, at 13:12:39
In reply to Can a person just melt into a puddle from stress?, posted by Tabitha on November 21, 2008, at 3:59:30
Apparently not. :( Though I'll keep you updated.
Tell your inner critic that if it's as wonderful as it thinks it is, it would have to start showing the virtue of compassion. (That seems to work with my outer critic.)
I've had my share of workplace meltdowns. It may not be the most prudent thing to do, but if it's someone you trust no harm will likely come of it.
(((Tabitha)))
At the risk of sounding overly left brained again, have you had your hormones and medications checked? All my good resolve doesn't help me nearly as much as a Risperdal taken judiciously.
Posted by Tabitha on November 21, 2008, at 13:13:07
In reply to Re: Can a person just melt into a puddle from stre, posted by Phillipa on November 21, 2008, at 12:50:33
gee Phillipa I've always wondered what nursing would be like I can see the potential for lots of stress and politics in that profession.
Posted by Phillipa on November 21, 2008, at 19:26:33
In reply to Re: Can a person just melt into a puddle from stre » Phillipa, posted by Tabitha on November 21, 2008, at 13:13:07
Tabitha guess there is now more so than before but when nursing loved it with a passion . Now hear it's horrible. Love Phillipa
Posted by Tabitha on November 22, 2008, at 3:14:20
In reply to Re: Can a person just melt into a puddle from stress? » Tabitha, posted by Dinah on November 21, 2008, at 13:12:39
Hormones and meds are suspect to me, too at this point. I have to say I've never felt as unstable as the last couple days, just all over the place from one minute to the next.
It's a lot better today. I avoided coworkers all day to prevent any more inter-personal stimulation, and I exercised.
I thought it was PMS, but that seems to not be the case. My T says the PMS stuff gets worse in perimenopause.
Posted by Dinah on November 22, 2008, at 9:36:50
In reply to Re: Can a person just melt into a puddle from stress? » Dinah, posted by Tabitha on November 22, 2008, at 3:14:20
At the risk of giving too much information, it's my experience that with perimenopause the cycles continue complete with bloating, PMS, (and for me with migraines) every twentyeight days. No matter what does or doesn't happen after that.
I've learned that whenever something changes radically in my mood with no obvious trigger (beyond the usual), it generally does have to do with meds and hormones.
Take care. It seems that each stage of being a woman has some difficulty attached.
Posted by Kath on November 22, 2008, at 16:12:28
In reply to Can a person just melt into a puddle from stress?, posted by Tabitha on November 21, 2008, at 3:59:30
Yes I think so.
((you))
One good thing is that you're aware of so very much.
I've found that that's the first stage. I've found that if I want to change, the actual changing part can take a long time, but awareness if the first step.
xoxo Kath
Posted by Phillipa on November 22, 2008, at 19:38:22
In reply to Re: Can a person just melt into a puddle from stress? » Tabitha, posted by Kath on November 22, 2008, at 16:12:28
Guess I was lucky as didn't even know had peri-menopause cycle just got shorter inbetween less bleeding and lasted longer before gone. Then puff was gone. Phillipa FSH was above 50.
Posted by Kath on November 22, 2008, at 21:39:40
In reply to Re: Can a person just melt into a puddle from stress? » Dinah, posted by Tabitha on November 22, 2008, at 3:14:20
Menopausal Years: The Wise Woman Way
by Susun S. WeedIt is a wonderful book FULLLLLLLLLL of information/ideas etc.
Very easy to read.
For each item there are up to 6 Steps to choose from. I often seemed to choose #3 as I like using herbal tinctures, etc.
Step 1. Collect information
Step 2. Engage the energy
Step 3. Nourish & tonify
Step 4. Sedate/Stimulate
Step 5. Use drugs
Step 6. Break and enter
The last one sounds dramatic. It isn't necessarily, & not all topics include it.
Just wanted to mention it here as peri-menopause was mentioned & this book probably saved me from have thyroid irradiation, & having to take thyroid medicine for the rest of my life.
:-) Kath
Posted by Deputy 10derHeart on November 22, 2008, at 22:15:08
In reply to My Bible regarding pre/during/post menopause:, posted by Kath on November 22, 2008, at 21:39:40
"Menopausal Years: The Wise Woman Way"
Is this the right one...?
Hope you don't mind...
Posted by 10derHeart on November 22, 2008, at 22:15:52
In reply to double double quotes, posted by Deputy 10derHeart on November 22, 2008, at 22:15:08
Posted by Tabitha on November 23, 2008, at 21:42:26
In reply to My Bible regarding pre/during/post menopause:, posted by Kath on November 22, 2008, at 21:39:40
Posted by Kath on December 1, 2008, at 22:05:30
In reply to oops - not meant as a deputy post-sorry (nm), posted by 10derHeart on November 22, 2008, at 22:15:52
LOL - I had forgotten about that option!!!
YAY for you putting it there.
Yup that's the book. Or more accurately:
that's THE BOOK.
Thx
It's just such a wonderful book. Can't believe that ya can buy it for $3.00!!
:-) Kath
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