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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 22 of 22. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by raisinb on April 25, 2008, at 9:57:38
I've been badly depressed for a few weeks now, though now that I look back it's been coming on for awhile. I am desperate and keep asking my therapist what I should do, how I should deal with it, what she can do to help me.
She says we need to "keep talking about it," and that "I can't take your depression away, but I can help you deal with it," and that we need to "continue to build our relationship." She seems to think listening to me is the best she can do.
I don't know exactly what I expect her to do, and I can see she is trying--she calls me, checks on me, listens to me in sessions--but it isn't helping. I need something else besides supportive listening. Shouldn't she have some kind of plan? Am I expecting too much? I'm dying here, and all she does is say "let's keep talking?" I don't know, maybe I should try a different type of therapy for awhile?
Posted by MissK on April 25, 2008, at 10:13:12
In reply to so my T has no plan for my depression, posted by raisinb on April 25, 2008, at 9:57:38
wow, raisinb, you expressed something so well for me in regards to therapy. I almost have to laugh at what your therapist said and your dilemma, not in any mean way. I've had my therapist say the same thing to me in regards to the cruddy feelings that still plague me. The only thing or plan there is is to keep talking it out.
You wrote you need something else besides. I would suggest you think about what that something else is, not from your therapist but for you personally and outside of therapy.
As much as I would like that my therapist had some kind of a formula, I realize she has told me and is telling me she doesn't have one outside of her ability and skill to listen and help me in talking about what I need and want to talk about.
Not much help there for you maybe, but I do understand.
Posted by B2chica on April 25, 2008, at 10:54:35
In reply to so my T has no plan for my depression, posted by raisinb on April 25, 2008, at 9:57:38
ok, so here's the pot calling the kettle black.
but what about meds?
Posted by seldomseen on April 25, 2008, at 11:24:04
In reply to so my T has no plan for my depression, posted by raisinb on April 25, 2008, at 9:57:38
Raisin,
Would you like to borrow my T? I'm really lucky because he is a psychiatrist too, so if meds are in order, here they come. He will also use cognitive techniques for a temporary stop gap. Now that we have ironed out the "dos and don'ts for the phone call, I think that's on the table too.I just don't think you can talk yourself out of a depression. My therapist thinks it is an illness and requires a management plan just as you would manage any other relapsing and remitting disorder.
While I do not think any patient should have to do this, but what if you formulated your own plan and discussed it with her. Maybe that would spur her into some action.
Talking IS good, but sometime action is required.
Seldom
Posted by Phillipa on April 25, 2008, at 12:27:35
In reply to Re: so my T has no plan for my depression » raisinb, posted by seldomseen on April 25, 2008, at 11:24:04
Seldom can I borrow yours as out of options with pdocs. Oh how I long for the day when old pdoc from years ago combined theraphy and meds and knew the whole deal. Pretty please? Love Phillipa
Posted by AbbieNormal on April 25, 2008, at 17:04:59
In reply to so my T has no plan for my depression, posted by raisinb on April 25, 2008, at 9:57:38
Maybe talk therapy isn't for you. Try buying her a CBT workbook and ask her to brush up on her skills.....
Or, keep the workbook and buy a pen?
Sorry, I don't mean to sound flip (I think I'm tired). Talking can only help so much IMO. My plan is meds, talk, and action. The CBT helps get the action going. Well, for me. It helps me realize where I keep myself stuck.
Posted by seldomseen on April 25, 2008, at 18:27:39
In reply to Re: so my T has no plan for my depression » seldomseen, posted by Phillipa on April 25, 2008, at 12:27:35
well phillipa I looked for him. I wanted a psychiatrist that did psychotherapy. It took awhile, but I found him.
Just keep actively looking, you will find someone too.
seldom.
Posted by Phillipa on April 25, 2008, at 20:15:19
In reply to Re: so my T has no plan for my depression » Phillipa, posted by seldomseen on April 25, 2008, at 18:27:39
Well I can google my area and see if any listed. Thanks Phillipa
Posted by CareBear04 on April 25, 2008, at 23:18:03
In reply to so my T has no plan for my depression, posted by raisinb on April 25, 2008, at 9:57:38
hi raisinb--
i totally feel what you're feeling! i too feel incredibly, acutely depressed and my T is fixated on "the relationship," which may be all well and good, but it's a long-term process, and i'm having an immediate crisis! i cancelled my appointment this week, but on monday, i have to go back and talk to him about quitting therapy. unfortunately, my T is a pdoc, too, so he's done all he can on the med side. i'm wondering what is so seriously wrong with me that i need all these meds and still can't function?
anyway, i feel your pain...
cb
Posted by raisinb on April 26, 2008, at 22:06:34
In reply to Re: so my T has no plan for my depression » raisinb, posted by MissK on April 25, 2008, at 10:13:12
Thanks, Miss K, it's good to hear that someone understands.
As for what else I need, I'm at a loss, which is strange for me. Something to bring up next session, I guess.
Posted by raisinb on April 26, 2008, at 22:07:43
In reply to Re: so my T has no plan for my depression » raisinb, posted by B2chica on April 25, 2008, at 10:54:35
Yes, I know...I just really, *really* don't want to. I just want to try everything before I go that route.
Posted by raisinb on April 26, 2008, at 22:08:56
In reply to Re: so my T has no plan for my depression » raisinb, posted by seldomseen on April 25, 2008, at 11:24:04
Borrow your T? Yes! I need all the help I can get :)
I am so resistant to taking meds, though, that he might not be able to help me that much.
I wish I could think of something else. I'm out of ideas.
Posted by raisinb on April 26, 2008, at 22:10:00
In reply to Re: so my T has no plan for my depression » raisinb, posted by AbbieNormal on April 25, 2008, at 17:04:59
It's interesting, I've always been so down on CBT, at least for me, but I'm all of a sudden in a place where I feel like some of that might actually be helpful. I guess it depends on the season in your life.
Posted by raisinb on April 26, 2008, at 22:11:21
In reply to Re: so my T has no plan for my depression » raisinb, posted by CareBear04 on April 25, 2008, at 23:18:03
Usually I love it when my T takes great care to maintain our relationship, but now I'm just frustrated by it. I keep asking her, "but how will having this relationship *help* how I am feeling, exactly?"
Posted by twinleaf on April 26, 2008, at 22:13:53
In reply to so my T has no plan for my depression, posted by raisinb on April 25, 2008, at 9:57:38
How about very low dose lithium? It's neuroprotective, and quite side-effect free at 300 or 450 mg for most everyone. It wouldn't take away your depression, but it might take the edge of it off.
Posted by raisinb on April 26, 2008, at 22:32:17
In reply to a med to try..., posted by twinleaf on April 26, 2008, at 22:13:53
Twinleaf, I never thought about lithium--no doctor has ever suggested anything but SSRIs.
Thanks for the suggestion. I will research it. I sure need something.
Posted by twinleaf on April 26, 2008, at 23:07:03
In reply to Re: a med to try... » twinleaf, posted by raisinb on April 26, 2008, at 22:32:17
I'm mentioning it because 300 mg. of lithium helped me a lot, after I had had bad experiences with a number of SSRIs, SNRIs, tricyclics and APs. I haven't ever had a diagnosis of Bipolar, but the terrific doctor who prescribed the lithium said it's frequently helpful with MDD and even Atypical Depression.
The other very helpful thing he did was to look closely at my thyroid function. He wanted me to have a TSH (Thyroid Stimulating Hormone) level of not more than 1.00. We achieved this with supplemental T4 (Synthroid) and T3 (Cytomel). He especially wanted me (and all depressed patients) to take some of the thyroid replacement as T3- the form the body uses, and the form thought to be important in treating depression.These two things, which have been side-effect free for me, haven't banished the depression I was having, but they have moderated it quite a bit. I feel certain they have allowed me to work more effectively in therapy. I particularly appreciated the approach of giving medications in LOW doses!
Posted by Phillipa on April 26, 2008, at 23:19:56
In reply to Re: a med to try... » raisinb, posted by twinleaf on April 26, 2008, at 23:07:03
Twinleaf are you hypothyroid? As lithium can cause it as I'm sure you know. Most endos aim for l-2 now the new standard. But I felt better when mine was a bit higher. Love Phillipa
Posted by B2chica on April 29, 2008, at 13:51:32
In reply to Re: so my T has no plan for my depression » B2chica, posted by raisinb on April 26, 2008, at 22:07:43
raisin, there is NOTHING wrong at all with not wanting to go the med route. i understand completely.
i think if you do this that you do need to be especially atune to your body, like you mentioned that you note it had been coming on for a while, you should have started acting then.i'm not sure what you are doing now for your depression. and i haven't read all the replies so sorry if i'm gonna do some repeats.
but i think the number 1 thing to help you is exercise. get into a regimen, trying to stay same time of day etc., number 2 thing is getting plenty of sunlight. going outside for walks or gardening or just sitting outside. Very important, if you cant do this consider purchasing a light box.
other things that can help are journaling, gentle self soothing things, upbeat or calming music, hobbies such as drawing (some people use coloring books too), sewing, beading, heck even bedazzling things!this in combination with your therapy should help a bit more. also have you considered group therapy at all? sometimes that works for people who may be a more socially oriented (or maybe should be)-it gets you out of the house and interacts with others dealing with same thing. these groups could be therapy groups or just community groups that get together at say a local hospital or community center. usually put on by local mental health centers.
anyway didn't mean to make this lengthy.
but give these things a whirl.but if you still find yourself heading down and in a bad place please consider meds. there are several mild meds out there and they don't have to be life long. some people only need to be on them for 6mo-1year depending on the severity and duration of their depression.
lots of luck raisinb
b2c
Posted by raisinb on April 30, 2008, at 8:57:01
In reply to Re: so my T has no plan for my depression » raisinb, posted by B2chica on April 29, 2008, at 13:51:32
Thank you so much, B2--I like all the suggestions. Exercise has often been a mode of self-punishment for me, so I need to figure out a more relaxing way to approach it.
I guess I didn't act before because I didn't understand what was happening. I just started feeling bored in a lot of situations and relationships where I hadn't experienced it before. I thought I was just moving to a new stage in my life. Which I might be, still, I don't know.
My therapist thinks that this is the way I've felt underneath all along (I guess she means in the few years we've been working together) and that I'm just now feeling safe enough--in therapy and in life--to let it come out.
I dislike this interpretation, but I can see its value.
Posted by B2chica on April 30, 2008, at 11:49:08
In reply to Re: so my T has no plan for my depression » B2chica, posted by raisinb on April 30, 2008, at 8:57:01
yoga might be a good exercise for you.
Posted by Phillipa on April 30, 2008, at 20:04:25
In reply to Re: so my T has no plan for my depression » raisinb, posted by B2chica on April 30, 2008, at 11:49:08
Exactly what I was going to suggest or maybe Pilates? Love Phillipa
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