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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on March 28, 2008, at 0:14:22
I feel bad about it now. I upset people. I get frustrated with the smallest things and then I start freaking out.
I was literally yelling and screaming and laying on the floor pounding my fists.
I got home to find out my Internet wasn't working. My sister changed a password or something, a small thing. I starting freaking out over it. She gives me the password, and I must have typed it in wrong or something. Then I start freaking out in a major way.
Then I anger my sister, who says some hurtful words and then I feel worse.
She says she's not like my pdoc, if I push her buttons, she'll push back.
Then my sister tries to talk some sense into me. She's really level headed at times.
I can tell she just really wants to help.
I wish I didn't upset so easily.
Posted by Dinah on March 28, 2008, at 1:23:03
In reply to I just had a huge temper tantrum :-(, posted by Deneb on March 28, 2008, at 0:14:22
Would it be horrible of me to admit that I envy you? I haven't had a floor pounding temper tantrum since... well according to my mother, never. Although she's not the most reliable source.
Getting really angry usually makes my head ache, and it feels so uncomfortable that I wish to avoid it.
I guess your sister is right in that having temper tantrums does have real life consequences. And it might be prudent to limit them to when consequences would not be unacceptable.
But isn't it also true that you've had a significant amount of stress lately? At least some of which was caused by your sister? Isn't it possible that your temper tantrum resulted more from a buildup of stress rather than this one incident?
Don't be too hard on yourself.
And maybe check with your therapist about how to release a little bit of steam on a more frequent basis so that large explosions can be averted? If you think that might be part of what's going on?
Posted by raisinb on March 28, 2008, at 8:43:49
In reply to Re: I just had a huge temper tantrum :-(, posted by Dinah on March 28, 2008, at 1:23:03
I thought almost the exact same thing as Dinah when I read your post. I think it's wonderful that you get to throw tantrums with family members! Mine just visited, and they made me feel like ripping my own skin off, but due to my family dysfunction, nobody expresses anything directly, so I had to be relentlessly polite on the surface, which really took a toll. I think you should feel proud of yourself!
But it sounds like it is scary to have so many strong emotions that can get out of your control. I can sympathize with that. I agree that it's possible you aren't dealing with your anger on a regular basis, so that it comes out in big spurts like this.
Posted by Phillipa on March 28, 2008, at 12:06:52
In reply to Re: I just had a huge temper tantrum :-( » Dinah, posted by raisinb on March 28, 2008, at 8:43:49
In a way I envy you as your sister must really love you to accept temper tantrums. I'd have a husband walk out if I got mad or raised my voice. I hold things inside and take it out on me. So now it's out and you released the anger. That's just my feeling. Phillipa
Posted by Maxime on March 28, 2008, at 15:18:08
In reply to I just had a huge temper tantrum :-(, posted by Deneb on March 28, 2008, at 0:14:22
I know you don't want to do it, but DBT can really help regulate your emotions.
Maxime
Posted by Racer on March 31, 2008, at 10:28:57
In reply to I just had a huge temper tantrum :-(, posted by Deneb on March 28, 2008, at 0:14:22
>
>
> I got home to find out my Internet wasn't working. My sister changed a password or something, a small thing.Hm... I've got a slight prickling on the back of my neck. Is this *your* computer? *Your* Internet? Or is it something that's shared amongst all the family?
Either way, the considerate thing to do if you change a password on a shared connection is to leave a note or otherwise communicate that little fact to others who use that machine. And if it is *your* computer, *your* connection -- well, I don't find changing passwords on someone else's machine to be considerate behavior.
What I'm wondering is whether this is such a small thing as you're saying it is.
>
> Then I anger my sister, who says some hurtful words and then I feel worse.Is this part of a pattern of behavior?
When I was growing up, my family was prone to a certain sort of behavior pattern -- tease me, push me past my limits, then criticize me for falling apart. And now, as an adult, when I tell my therapist these stories, the sorts of things that happened, she shows me just how sick those patterns were, how abusive my family members were. (And sometimes still are...) Could it be that your family shares something with mine? That the "innocent" behaviors of your sister which you react to might not be quite so innocent?
Regardless of your sister's reactions, behaviors, emotions, talents, or abilities, I'm very sorry that you had that sort of tantrum. I can't imagine that sort of overwhelming emotional reaction could be pleasant for you. I'm very sorry that you had to go through that, and hope you're feeling better now.
Peace.
Posted by sassyfrancesca on April 2, 2008, at 15:40:49
In reply to Re: I just had a huge temper tantrum :-( » Deneb, posted by Racer on March 31, 2008, at 10:28:57
What I enjoy is when someone tries to push my buttons; I act really cool....they don't know what to do.
Maybe you might want to consider doing that if you can practice it; do the unexpected; always throws em off, LOl, LOL
In other words, I like the feeling of staying in control and not allowing ANYone to make me behave "crazy-making"---I had that insanity in childhood and in a 31-year marriage.
Growing up I was constantly crying, upset and having nosebleeds....with an abusive mother.
I am not criticizing at all; just saying what works for...me.
Posted by Kath on April 2, 2008, at 20:52:55
In reply to Re: I just had a huge temper tantrum :-( » Deneb, posted by Racer on March 31, 2008, at 10:28:57
I get what Racer is saying.
I think there can be family dynamics where a certain member is sometimes cast in a certain role.
It wouldn't surprise me if one person would act in a seemingly innocent way to push another member over the edge. Hey - I look great - they look bad!! that would work for me if I were like that!
hugs Deneb. xoxo Kath
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