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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by widget on February 11, 2008, at 16:57:44
Last week I wrote that my therapist didn't seem to realize I had missed by usual Monday appointment. So, today I asked him about it. Its kind of funny now, he still was answering me so that I wouldn't feel guilty about missing by assusring me his secretary fills his cancellations quickly. I finally had to directly ask him, "Do you know I come on Monday?" He was surprised and said, oh, yes. And, the total truth was that he doesn't always realize who is coming each day as they all run into one another but he looks forward to our sesssions and sometime on Monday he wondered what had happened to me. I was so very happy and relieved. He said again that he didn't want me to feel badly about missing. What a relief. Thanks to everyone who said to talk to him about it. Although it was a good session (this happened at the end), it was just hanging there for me, making me doubt his sincerity big-time. Widget
Posted by annierose on February 11, 2008, at 18:05:01
In reply to Not rejected by therapist anymore!, posted by widget on February 11, 2008, at 16:57:44
>>And, the total truth was that he doesn't always realize who is coming each day as they all run into one another but he looks forward to our sesssions ... <<<
Ouch - that reply would have shocked me. I'm surprised that a therapist does not know what clients are expected each day. So when he opens the door to his waiting room, does he scan the room and think to himself, "Hmmmm, I wonder who will be there today." I'm not trying to be funny, I just can't imagine running a practice where you do not know who is scheduled each day.
But I am glad he mentioned that he missed you last Monday and wondered where you were. That was thoughtful and appropriate.
Posted by Dinah on February 11, 2008, at 21:04:01
In reply to Not rejected by therapist anymore!, posted by widget on February 11, 2008, at 16:57:44
I'm glad it worked out. :)
Posted by Phillipa on February 11, 2008, at 23:17:08
In reply to Re: Not rejected by therapist anymore! » widget, posted by Dinah on February 11, 2008, at 21:04:01
Widget me too as you must have been so relieved. Phillipa
Posted by sassyfrancesca on February 12, 2008, at 8:42:20
In reply to Not rejected by therapist anymore!, posted by widget on February 11, 2008, at 16:57:44
(((Widget))): I am so glad! I am going to respond to the last message you sent me from ("Still in Love with my T After 5 Years); can't find the post...you asked how do I (we) NOT have an intimate relationship? I wish I knew; my t said "we are both very restrained people." it is excruciating for me; The chemistry is on "kill" between us. He said: "My colleagues would tell me to run fast and far, but I will never abandon you."
He is going to Hawaii for a convention (so am I); that could prove interesting. He says he doesn't want to hurt me, but he has tempted, teased and tormented me.....He has also said: "You are in my heart and in my head." "If I were not married, I would probably go for it." He even gave me a ride home one night, and we sat listening to Yanni on his radio; it was heavenly....the next week he told me that that presented an "ethical dilemna"---he is all over the place......He said he was "torn, confused, scared and conflicted." Geeshhh, what do i do with THAT!? He is taking me along on HIS journey/ride........So glad to hear from you and that things worked out with your therapist.
Hugs, Francesca
Posted by rskontos on February 12, 2008, at 9:37:24
In reply to Re: Not rejected by therapist anymore!, posted by sassyfrancesca on February 12, 2008, at 8:42:20
Francesca, I think you need to begin a new thread so we save widget's here must i feel i must respond to you based on something my therapist said to me. He said the boundaries on therapy were his to set. He said that he must make the trust in the relationship be there because he makes it safe to be there by setting all the boundaries and never crossing them. I, sadly, believe your t, crossed them and it is not a good thing. It has you caught in a web. You can not leave and you should not stay. What he said about "if I was not married...." if you say that in any business, say boss to employee situation well that is sexual harrassment. This is not good. I know you feel deeply for this therapist. But it is not the kind that will take you beyond the theraputic relationship in the realm of healing and being able to form healthy relationship with say other men. I think it locks you in with him and that I don't see as good for you. JMHO I may be way off base and if so, I humbly apologize. I just hate to see you hurting. And I don't want to hurt you further. I hope I did not do that.
Now for you widget I am THRILLED. I am glad you spoke up for yourself. You did yourself and your therapist a great big step forward by doing so. Way to take control...rsk
Posted by rskontos on February 12, 2008, at 9:38:13
In reply to Re: Not rejected by therapist anymore! » sassyfrancesca, posted by rskontos on February 12, 2008, at 9:37:24
Posted by raisinb on February 12, 2008, at 12:01:04
In reply to Re: also the above for widget too! (nm) » rskontos, posted by rskontos on February 12, 2008, at 9:38:13
Great! I knew that it was probably not meant to be rejecting.
It's amazing to me what idiotic things they can say sometimes, even knowing the kinds of fears and feelings we have towards them. Sometimes it seems like the therapeutic relationship is a testament to how much miscommunication can really occur between two people.
This is the end of the thread.
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