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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by ladybugsmom on December 19, 2007, at 15:19:39
Hi! I am new to the boards. I was going to post in the newbie section but it does not seem to get much trafic so I thought I would try hear instead. I hope that is ok. I have been reading your posts for awhile but have always been afraid to post. But on the encouragement of my T I am now doing that. He even gave me the question to start out with!! I have a really hard time finding a safe place to go to in my mind that my abuser can not get to. Like when I get anxious or after EMDR. Do you guys use a literal place or an imaginary place? Thanks! I hope I am not being to forward by asking!
Posted by rskontos on December 19, 2007, at 18:56:40
In reply to Introduction with a ?, posted by ladybugsmom on December 19, 2007, at 15:19:39
Welcome ladybugsmom. Nice you are here and nice that your T encouraged you to come. I hide my involvement from my T cause I would get mad if she didn't think it was a good idea. But she is ok with it so no worries after all.
I retreat to my head. I though dissociate badly so that is inside my self and then I make myself go numb. Many of us here use different ways and i am sure they will give you more ideas because I am thinking your T won't like my way. I just wanted to say hi. and welcome you.
I am glad you are here. I have posted some very personal stuff so it is ok you are posting.
You are not being forward. Ask anything. Someone will have an answer.
rsk
Posted by lovelorn on December 19, 2007, at 19:24:16
In reply to Introduction with a ?, posted by ladybugsmom on December 19, 2007, at 15:19:39
Hello Ladybugsmom,
Just wanted to welcome you to the boards.
I don't use a safe place for my issues. I do other kinds of visualisations though. From what I read, people can use imagined or real places as a safe place. A suggestion might be to try to remember some place, if you can, where you were able to be alone or that you were with someone else that you did feel safe with, or a place that was secret when you were young whether imagined or real. I hope you will eventually figure one out.
Try reading the Archives option too. There have been past posts on the subject, though you have to look for them.
Posted by lovelorn on December 19, 2007, at 19:57:45
In reply to Introduction with a ?, posted by ladybugsmom on December 19, 2007, at 15:19:39
...just wanted to add that an imaginary place may be the better option - that way you can fill that space up with images and feelings that feel good and safe to you. Give your mind and emotions some time, something will eventually form that will have that feeling of being "right" and it may be a blend of both imaginatary and real elements. The mind is pretty good in giving us what we need once we process and give time and voice to both what are emotions are saying and what the mind is saying or searching for too.
Posted by littleone on December 19, 2007, at 20:12:59
In reply to Introduction with a ?, posted by ladybugsmom on December 19, 2007, at 15:19:39
Hello.
I made a real life safe place in my house. I've put up a screen near a corner of a quiet room to make a little cozy nook. I put some big papasan cushions on the floor which I can sit on and there are half a dozen smaller cushions to make it soft and comfy. I painted some old bookcases in a soft lilac colour and have filled them with safe books and safe things for the young parts. I also make sure I have my journal there and my comfort book and drawing supplies. If things are feeling very unsafe, I can hang up a sheet so it is fully enclosed.
I think I really needed a real safe place because I tended to cut off in my head, so I couldn't connect to an imaginary place. Plus I needed to learn to connect to my feelings and I couldn't do that if I stayed in my head. The other plus has been that it's helped me to learn to soothe and comfort younger parts.
I should add that it has also made me feel safer from danger, not in a logical way, but in a kid way. Like when I hung the sheet up, logically we all know a simple sheet won't keep bad people out, but the symbolism and magic behind it does. If that makes sense.
Posted by I need a hug on December 19, 2007, at 20:41:20
In reply to Re: Introduction with a ? » ladybugsmom, posted by lovelorn on December 19, 2007, at 19:57:45
ladybugsmom,
Welcome and feel free to ask any question you might have. We're all here to help each other out as much as we can. The beach has always been a very relaxing place for me. I lay down and close my eyes. I picture myself sitting on the beach. I can see the ocean, the waves, a beautiful sunset. I can hear children laughing, see them running and playing, building sand castles, see and hear the sea gulls, feel the ocean breeze against my body and smell the salt air. It's visualization but I call it my "mental vacation." Do you have a place like this? Maybe a field surrounded by flowers, sitting along a stream, in a wooded area. Whatever you think might work for you. Of course, you are welcome to use mine. Another thing that might help is purchasing CD's with different sound effects: birds, ocean, streams, etc. I hope this helps a little. HUGS
Posted by Dinah on December 19, 2007, at 21:07:38
In reply to Introduction with a ?, posted by ladybugsmom on December 19, 2007, at 15:19:39
I don't use safe spaces that often, but when I do, I use my therapist's old office. Not the new one. I took some pictures before he had to leave it.
Welcome to Babble. I'm glad you decided to post.
Posted by muffled on December 19, 2007, at 21:36:52
In reply to Re: Introduction with a ? » ladybugsmom, posted by littleone on December 19, 2007, at 20:12:59
Hi, nice to meet you.
I have 2 safe places I can mentally retreat to.
A cave with very little sensory input, its dark, quiet, warm, safe. Also a place by a stream with moss and critters and bugs where I can run.
But as Littleone said, its not always possible to get there. In your head.
I REALLY like the idea of a physical safe place. I think I could use one, for the reasons described.
I am gonna paste that post in my journal LO!
Sometimes when I can't get to the place in my head, I just sit on the ground and curl and rock. Sometimes I almost chant to myself, something like 'its OK' over and over.
Thats what I do.
Best wishes to you.
Muffled
Posted by Wittgenstein on December 20, 2007, at 2:16:04
In reply to Introduction with a ?, posted by ladybugsmom on December 19, 2007, at 15:19:39
Hello Ladybugsmom!! Welcome to babble :)
I too browsed the boards for quite a while before I started posting. Well done for taking the plunge. It sounds like you have a very supporting T.
As for your question, my coping strategies are rather primitive I'm afraid. I tend to dissociate, retreat into myself, shut the outside world out, which pretty much puts everything on hold when I'm in this way of mind. It makes me untouchable but also untouchable by those trying to help me.
HappyFlower (you may have read some of her posts) posted a month or so ago about her safe place. Like you, it took a long time for her to find a safe place (which was essential for her when she started doing EMDR) - in the end she saw a painting hanging in her T's office of a wood scene and she imagined herself there.
I hope you find Babble a helpful place.
Witti
Posted by Wittgenstein on December 20, 2007, at 2:39:27
In reply to Re: Introduction ))lbm and LO, posted by muffled on December 19, 2007, at 21:36:52
Come to think of it, early this year when I was just starting therapy I used to have a physical 'safe place' - a tent in a quiet room in my house with a sheepskin rug and cushions inside and a duvet over the top - I don't use it anymore. I would curl up in there until I felt safer again.
As a child I would go to the nearby woods and hide in a thicket of bushes.
Posted by ladybugsmom on December 20, 2007, at 15:05:03
In reply to Re: Introduction with a ? » ladybugsmom, posted by rskontos on December 19, 2007, at 18:56:40
Thanks everyone for the warm welcome and the wonderful suggestions. I am reading and analyzing them and will let them bounce around my mind for awhile which is what I do with everything! Whenever I leave a therapy session I pick apart the entire session but I see that is a very common thing as well!
Posted by Kath on December 23, 2007, at 15:25:04
In reply to Introduction with a ?, posted by ladybugsmom on December 19, 2007, at 15:19:39
Don't know how you're finding EMDR. I've done a bit about certain issues which had NOT budged with any other method. I find it AWESOME.
I'm in Canada & am lucky enough to have an MD who does it so it's covered by OHIP. How about you?
Do you do therapy also, or just EMDR?
I don't do the 'safe place' thing, but it sounds good.
Since you know about EMDR, I'm wondering if you know about EFT or TAT? They're really wonderful & are FREE, since you do them yourself & can learn free also.
Hugs, Kath
This is the end of the thread.
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