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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by angela2 on November 24, 2007, at 18:52:10
What I'm wondering is, is there a starting point to mark off where you "were" and now where you "are"? I put my starting point at last year when I had a breakdown and was in the hospital. I think I have made a lot of progress since then. Like I am stable now. I attribute this to the medication I'm on.
But there are still things I really need to work on. I am a negative thinker still (although I'm getting better) and I avoid social things that could be fun but I don't do them. I have a book on anxiety and I'm hoping that reading it again will help. It really is a good book. And I have faith that I can do it.
I don't really have a therapist. Although I have an appt. with the therapist I've been seeing for Monday. I think it's really weird seeing someone who you have sort of checked out on and lost faith in. I feel guilt. and awkwardness. I'm on a wait list still for another therapist.
Posted by Daisym on November 25, 2007, at 12:30:48
In reply to making progress, posted by angela2 on November 24, 2007, at 18:52:10
I think we all mark our progress differently. One of the hardest things about therapy is that you often feel worse before you feel better. It is sort of like cleaning out a closet -- the rest of the room gets messy as you straighten things out and put them back away in the right places.
I can imagine it would be really hard to be seeing a therapist you no longer had faith in. I have found there have been times when I wonder if my therapist knows how to help me - but that is usually when I just want him to comfort me and I don't want to work on stuff.
It might help to talk to your therapist about how it was when you started and how you feel now about any gains you've made. I always find those sessions hard - too much reality testing -but helpful.
And the truth is - YOU are doing the work here. Yes, your therapist helps you or guides and supports you. But the growth and progress are yours - not your therapists. So the markers you choose should be ones that mean something to you - not her, necessarily.
Do you have some specific markers you are looking at? Do you feel better about some things and perhaps worse about others? It might help to write it down here to look out for monday.
Posted by angela2 on November 25, 2007, at 18:24:43
In reply to Re: making progress » angela2, posted by Daisym on November 25, 2007, at 12:30:48
Thanks for the response Daisym.
I think you are right in that *I* am the one who needs to ultimately help myself. Why is that so hard for me though? Like, I acknowledge that but still have trouble helping myself.I get upset with this therapist because I don't feel close to her and don't feel comforted by her but am seeing her anyway because I'm hoping it will motivate me to talk to someone? I hope that's not a bad thing. I feel guilty about seeing her and being on a wait list for someone else.
Part of me doesn't care about myself and doing the things that will make me happy and rewarded. Apathy and ambivalence and habit.
Posted by Daisym on November 25, 2007, at 19:16:58
In reply to Re: making progress, posted by angela2 on November 25, 2007, at 18:24:43
"Part of me doesn't care about myself and doing the things that will make me happy and rewarded. Apathy and ambivalence and habit"
Or maybe you aren't sure it is OK to let yourself have the things that make you happy? Is it OK to reward yourself for achievments?
I think it is OK to be talking to this therapist while waiting for another. It would be best if she knew that, but understandably that would be hard to tell someone. When I started therapy with my current therapist, I had met with another therapist the week before, interviewing. She asked me to commit to her for 6 weeks before deciding therapy couldn't help me. So, being new to this whole therapy thing, I said I would. But I'd already scheduled the "interview" with this other guy. Turned out I really clicked with him - but I had this commitment. So I honored it for a month and felt guilty the whole time. But it was a really good way for me to figure out what wasn't going to work for me.
And as far as helping yourself - it is harder to do than say. I think we all need to find a balance of pushing ourselves and leaning on another. It can't be all one way or another. Setting your own goals can be very empowering. So can letting someone else help you reach them.
Posted by JoniS on November 25, 2007, at 22:52:25
In reply to making progress, posted by angela2 on November 24, 2007, at 18:52:10
Angela,
I jsut wanted to encourage you and let you know I agree with Daisy-
"... helping yourself - it is harder to do than say. I think we all need to find a balance of pushing ourselves and leaning on another. It can't be all one way or another. Setting your own goals can be very empowering. So can letting someone else help you reach them..."
I don't come out with eloquent words of wisdom, but I sure can spot 'em when I see 'em!
So good luck to you Angela. And please don't feel guilty about doing what you need to do to take care of you. :-)
Joni
Posted by angela2 on November 27, 2007, at 13:00:50
In reply to Re: making progress » angela2, posted by JoniS on November 25, 2007, at 22:52:25
Thank you for the words of encouragement JoniS and Daisym. I really appreciate it. I had a good therapy session yesterday.
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